One Year Ago

One year ago, I got to experience the utter excitement that is finding out you are pregnant.

I still remember the first time I saw those two blue lines - it is not a day I think I will ever forget.  December 13th, the wind was blowing, the rain was falling and I had a long day of work ahead.  There was a voice in the back of my head reminding me that I hadn't had a period yet, despite me taking the 7 day break in my contraceptive pills, but I was blaming it on too many late nights, not enough rest and a  confused body.

Still the niggle wouldn't go away and I realised the only way to put my mind at ease was to pee on a stick.  I quickly bought a Boots cheapie on my way to work and took it into the changing rooms without even considering the result.  After two minutes, I had changed into my uniform and remembered to check the results.

Two blue lines.

I had never seen two blue lines before and I grabbed the packet to make sure it meant what I suspected. 

It did.

Still in disbelief, I left the staff room to start my shift, walking round in a daze of daydreams, wondering how often the tests were wrong. 3 hours later and it was time for a break.  I rang my best friend and asked her what it meant.  She told me straight up, you can have a false negative, but not a false positive. I still wasn't convinced and blamed the value test, so a trip back to Boots for a Clear Blue and a trip to the public toilets later, I was the proud owner of 3 positive pregnancy test.  My heart seemed to stop and any thoughts that 

were in my head where replaced by the image of those two blue lines.

I was pregnant.

I returned to work and told them I had been violently sick and needed to go home, only I couldn't go home.  I had moved back in with my parents for a while and that was the last place I wanted to be.  I wandered and tried to think, but I couldn't get the image out the way. I finally got the courage to text the bloke and ask him to meet me straight from work in a local pub.

I sat in the pub waiting.  I ordered a coffee and then panicked that I shouldn't be drinking caffeine so sat there just watching it.  Eventually the bloke, the man I had been with for only 4 months walked through the door with a big bouquet of flowers in his hands.  He knew something was up and came and gave me the biggest hug.

I had spent two hours wondering how to tell him but in the end I just whispered in his ear 'I'm pregnant'.  I can't tell you what expression was on his face as he didn't move.  He didn't let go, he just held me.  He told me it was ok and that he would hold me until I told him to let go.  He couldn't have reacted better and we stayed that way a long time.

I think we both knew straight away what we would do.  We were not children any more and we had created a living thing, a foetus, a baby.  We both asked the question and we both answered.  This was the beginning of something and we were about to embark on an adventure.

When Dylan was 8 months old, we decided that we wanted another little baby.  Despite him being so completely and utterly unplanned, we were enjoying parenthood, had fallen deeper in love as a couple and wanted  a playmate for our beautiful boy.  My body was still not back in a rhythm due to breastfeeding but we decided to see what happened.

Two days after returning from Britmums Live, (6 weeks later) I felt completely and utterly exhausted.  I thought I was still recovering from a busy and exciting weekend but when  my mum came round to visit, I ended up going for a nap whilst she looked after Dylan.  As she was leaving, she asked if there was anything I wanted to tell her, and feeling a little baffled, I answered 'no'.

She got me thinking though, and feeling restless that evening, I decided to do a test just in case.  I didn't tell the bloke, I just disappeared for a shower, clear blue in hand. 

It took less than 5 seconds for the two blue lines to show up.

I looked down and smiled -  the biggest smile.

My whole body felt excited and I ran out of the bathroom, stick in hand to tell the bloke our amazing news.  A new life, A new baby, A new brother for our beautiful boy.

One year ago I felt the elation of finding out I was pregnant.

Both babies are equally loved and equally wanted.  If I could go back in time then I wouldn't change a thing, but finding out you are pregnant can be the scariest and the most amazing thing in the world.

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Squish's Birth Story

Baby Squish was due on the 20th February, and despite Dylan arriving early I was convinced that this little guy would be late.  I decided therefore to work right up until my due date and went to work on February 16th for my last shift.  Waitressing is physically demanding but I didn't feel like the birth was going to happen any time soon so after finishing  my day I decided to walk the three miles home rather than catch a bus.  I stopped off  at the park on the way back to meet the bloke and Dylan and after a play we all went home for tea and bedtime.   I had no idea  that the next time I saw the little guy he would be a big brother!

The bloke went out for his friend's birthday with a warning that my due date wasn't far away and that he couldn't get too drunk!  As the night went on I started to feel some tightenings but they weren't painful so I presumed it was just braxton hicks.  Just after midnight I decided to go to bed but once I lay down I realised that  the tightenings were getting uncomfortable and sleep was not going to come easily.  The bloke got home after a little while and I told him what was going on, but I still was not convinced that this was labour.

Around half one I decided that this may indeed be the real thing as I was still wide awake lying in bed and things were starting to get painful but I decided rest was the best thing so got out my book.  I had my Labouraide ready and started using the early labour mouth piece when the contractions started.  It was great to have something to bite down on and I think it helped.  By half three I had decided I was almost definitely in labour and started timing contractions.  I found that they weren't consistent with anywhere between 3 and 6 minutes apart and lasting anywhere from 40-60 seconds but they were definitely painful!  I woke up the bloke and we decided that I should ring the Midwife Led Unit to see what they said.  Halfway through the phone call I had to stop talking to have a contraction and the midwife told me to come in to be checked out.

My worst nightmare for labour was getting to the hospital to be told it was not real labour or that I was only one centimetre dilated so I decided to ring a taxi for myself and leave the bloke at home as I didn't want to wake my mum up in the middle of the night for nothing and someone had to stay with Dylan.  

My relaxing room

I arrived at the MLU around half past four and was taken to one of the lovely big rooms by the same midwife that showed me round a few days earlier.  She took my blood pressure, checked babies heartbeat and felt my tummy as I had a contraction.  Her reaction was that they were particularly strong contractions and if they kept up like that then it wouldn't be a long labour.  On examination I was 5cm so I rang my mum and the bloke and organised the changeover.  I had bought my hospital bag along with me but left the baby's at home as I didn't want to tempt fate so I told the bloke to bring it along.

The bloke arrived around half past five and at this point I decided that bouncing on the ball was not enough and I started on the wonderful stuff that is entonox.  It still didn't feel like my contractions were regular and baby still had to descend a bit furthur so I was sure that I had a long time left.  The midwives were lovely and I had a student in with me most of the time who told me that my contractions were still very strong and that she hoped the baby would come before her shift was up.  

At half past six I thought I would check that we had everything but upon asking the bloke for the baby's bag, he let me know that he had forgotten it!  This meant no nappies, no newborn clothes and blankets . . . nothing! We rang my mum but as Dylan was still fast asleep she sent it over in a taxi for us!

At 7am I decided I was really struggling.  I felt like I had only just caught my breath from the last contraction when the next one started.  I had been told to put off the birthing pool for as long as I could as getting in too early could slow the labour down but the midwives thought I was ready and they ran the water for me.  I got in to the pool - entonox still in hand and felt a slight relief on the next contraction thanks to the warmth of the water on my back.

The second contraction in the pool was strong and I felt a pop that let me know my waters had gone.  With the pop I felt a desire to push, but scared that I wasn't ready yet,  felt myself shutting my legs!  With my first pregnancy I had been stuck on the bed and monitored throughout so the sense of freedom and the relaxation at the midwife unit was lovely.  When I told them I wanted to push they told me to just follow my body.  No examinations to check I was ready and no help.  With three pushes my little baby Squish entered the world.  The cord was wrapped around his neck but as he was pulled from the water he started crying before it was even taken off.  He came straight onto my chest and I couldn't believe how perfectly it had all gone and how beautiful my baby son was.

We sat in the pool having a skin to skin cuddle as the midwives waited for the cord to finish pulsating and then the bloke got to cut it.  Squish and I went for a cuddle on the bed and to wait for the placenta to be delivered naturally.

The whole labour was so smooth and fast and I was proud of myself for doing it again with gas and air.   The midwives were really helpful and supportive but not interfering and I felt like I got the birth I always wanted. Squish was born at 7:36am weighing 8lb 5oz but he seems so much smaller than his big brother was! We didn't have a name ready for him and nothing on our lists fitted so he left hospital as Squish.  We were discharged at midday after less than 5 hours as there were no complications and they had had to close the hospital for births soon after I arrived as both the MLU and the labour ward were full!

Swamped in a newborn snowsuit

3 days later, on his official due date we finally had the perfect name.  I had never even considered it until I was in labour and then it came into my head, but it took us a few days to make sure that it was as perfect as he was.

One hour old- Baby Archie

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Our last date night -Chiquitos

With the little man due any day now, the bloke and I have managed to fit in a final date night.  Chiquito's invited us to try their new menu and it could not have come at a better time! Dylan was put to bed and Grandma was left in charge, and the bloke and I got to enjoy some quality time together!

Pregnancy is the perfect excuse to be a little greedy and I must say our order was optomistic! There were so many things I wanted to try as well as the favourites I already have, so we went for a mixture.  I love the fact you are greeted with popcorn when you sit down as it makes taking your time with the menu that bit easier.  We ended up going for a hot cheese starter that sounded like heaven as well as the nachos which I already know to be highly addictive.

Hot cheese was exactly what it sounds like and was quickly devoured (mostly by me) lathered on tortilla chips.  Both starters are very good sizes but of course there was more to come.  For my main I had the classic chicken fajita (can't go wrong), whilst the bloke had a pulled pork Burrito on the waiter's recommendation.  We had some chips, sweet potato fries and onion rings to accompany it and our large table was full with food!

The fajitas were delicious and although the portion seemed a bit smaller than the old size was still more than enough and very generous.  The burrito looked delicious and the bloke managed to wolf it down.  He loved the flavours but would have liked more meat and less rice in there.  Sweet potato is one of my favourites and I would highly recommend the sweet potato fries - absolute perfection with a side of sour cream for dunking!

Of course it would be rude not to finish up with a desert and being a bottomless pit I devoured a gorgeous slice of honeycomb cheesecake - definitely worth keeping space for! The bloke at this point was feeling a little defeated and went for some ice cream as it wasn't too heavy.  There was a good choice of flavours and it came in a lovely cinnamon basket winning points on presentation and taste!

We really enjoyed our meal - the food was delicious and not having grubby toddler hands trying to steal the best bits was a bonus!  We need to go back with the little dude soon so he can try out the new children's menu, although if we order this much next time I am sure we can find a few bits to share with him!

Disclaimer:  I was provided with a voucher for Chiquitos for the purpose of this review.  All thoughts and opinions are my own though.

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38 Weeks Pregnant

38 Weeks and I am officially more pregnant than I have ever been! This post is also a few days late so due date is getting even closer! Here is what I hope to be my last bump shot, although who knows, I may be back with week 40!

On the Inside

After 37 weeks of health and happiness, the tiredness is really kicking in and if I don't have a quiet sit down and put my feet up during Dylan's nap time then I really know about it by his bed time! Saying that I have not been particularly sensible and have been carrying on with my normal active lifestyle.  I worked a 9 hour shift on my feet this weekend waitressing and much to the bloke's dismay this did not start off labour!

I am getting a lot of aches and pains low down, probably due to Squish having been engaged for the last 4 weeks.  I am finding a bath before bed makes me feel so much better though, although sleep is not easy and I wake up so many times in the night for no reason.  My bladder is still coping and I don't need to get out of bed in the night, but I wake up uncomfortable and restless.

I saw my midwife this week who confirmed that my blood tests were all fine and that I should head to the Midwife Led Unit when labour starts.  All seems well and he said he would be suprised if I made it to my 40 week appointment.  I had a tour today of the MLU and it looks lovely and relaxing in there so I am getting quite excited about the birth! (Is this normal?)

On the Outside

Bump is big.

Bump is very big and very round - most of my maternity tops are no longer covering my tummy so it is all about long long tops and dresses now to keep me warm.  I have turned to some floaty summer beach dresses I bought in my previous pregnancy and am teaming them with leggings and cardigans as they are so comfy.  Unfortunately my maternity coat no longer does up round my tummy so it is all about thick scarfs hanging down.

Stretch marks are rapidly increasing and no cream seems to be slowing them down although I keep applying them to keep bump soft and smooth.  I do look like I am smuggling a beach ball under my clothes although I am nowhere near as big as I was with Dylan.  

I am feeling much more ready now as Squish's room is carpeted and furnished and I have started putting some of his teeny tiny clothes away.  The crib sheets are in the washing machine as I type and my hospital bags are packed .  The bloke is desperate to have this week off work as he is on early morning starts so I am convinced Squish will wait until the weekend to arrive - you know what their timing is like!  

The end is now in sight and I am going to miss pregnancy so much but the excitement that I will soon meet the little man I have been growing for nine months is huge! It is all a waiting game now although I have had no signs that labour is imminent - watch this space for a 40 weeks pregnant post or a birth announcement sometime soon! 

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My Hospital Bag

I have already posted about what I have packed for baby, so I thought I would share what I have packed in my bag as well.  Last time round I was in hospital for 24 hours after giving birth and this time I am hoping to have Squish in the midwife led unit where they like to have you out within 12. I like to be prepared though so my hospital bag has all the essentials for an overnight stay.

I have packed:

Biscuits

These come first on the list as they are by far the most important thing I will need!  I have given it a lot of thought and gone for chocolate chip cookies as even if it is really warm in the room they will still taste delicious and not melt too much

Maternity Notes

After a slight panic last week when I couldn't find them, they are now firmly tucked in my hospital bag so the midwives can see how my pregnancy has progressed.

Bikini

I am hoping for a water birth so have a bikini packed ready!

New PJs

I don't think I understood quite how I would feel after birth last time so this time I have a gorgeous pair of Melba maternity pajamas to help me feel clean and relaxed after the birth.  They are specially designed for breastfeeding and I have the matching dressing gown too so pretty sure I will be the best dressed on the ward!

Nursing Nightie

I have been sent this lovely nursing nightie and have it ready for labour as I don't think I will be in the pool the whole time and I can't guarantee there will be one available.  It is lovely and loose even with my huge bump and much softer than a hospital gown!  It also is designed for breastfeeding so would be great on the ward afterwards.

Slippers

I am definitely a slipper kind of girl and it was choosing which one of my 5 pairs to pack that was an issue! I love having cosy feet and this is my big home comfort.

Laboraide

I am really interested to try this natural pain relief method, it basically looks like a gum shield, but the idea is that biting on it stops your jaw from locking shut and can help keep you relaxed in labour.  Not sure how much I trust it to work but I am willing to give it a go!

Nursing Bra

I have a Bravado nursing bra ready for the hospital stay and at home.  My nursing bras from Dylan are looking rather well used now and so it is lovely to have a nice new one ready to wear.

Medela Breast Care pack

Nobody warns you how difficult breastfeeding can be and although it is the most rewarding thing, taking care of yourself does make it easier.  This little pack comes in a handy bag and has breast pads, cooling pads and cream to make the first few days easier.

Going home outfit

I am packing an oversized jumper, leggings and my bravado nursing vest for the trip home as I know comfort is the most important thing, and hiding the very wobbly tummy is a close second!

Big pants

Thongs are definitely not an option after childbirth! Rather than buying disposable I have a few pairs of old pants that I can throw away afterwards as I think they look so much more comfortable!

Maternity Pads

As glamorous as they look and unfortunately rather necessary!

Toiletries

I have minatures of my favourite shampoo, condition, shower gel and perfume as well as some moisturiser and creams so I can have a nice relaxing shower afterwards.

Phone charger, Phone, Camera

All for the obvious reasons - I want to capture those perfect moments when I get to meet my little baby for the first time!

Can you think of  anything I have forgotten? My bag looks nice and full and hopefully this means I am all ready for the little guy's arrival!

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Hospital Bag for Baby

The time has come to make final preperations for the arrival of little Squish and this involves packing my bags ready for hospital.  Last time I put everything in one giant bag and had trouble finding what I needed, so this time I have decided to have a bag for baby and a bag for me so his little clothes are kept safe.

Pink Lining have sent me this gorgeous Twins bag blue bouquet as I will have two sets of nappies to be carting round soon and I thought it would be perfect as Squish's bag for the hospital. It has so many pockets and comes with a lovely padded changing mat and zipped bag so it has been nice and easy to pack everything into.  It's debut outing sees it full to the brim with gorgeous blue and white and I thought I would share what I have packed for baby's hospital bag



5 x 0-3 month Vests

I remember how fast Dylan outgrew newborn last time so we have gone straight for 0-3 months this time with the idea that this will be another chunky baby.  If he does come out smaller than expected then we do have some newborn vests at home just in case.

5 x Newborn Sleepsuits

Although we have packed bigger vests, I couldn't resist the teeny tiny newborn sleepsuits from Mothercare and I am sure they will fit for a day or two at least (I hope so!)  I don't have a specific 'coming home outfit' for Squish so whichever sleepsuit he happens to be in will be perfect.

3 x Newborn Hats

Having a winter baby I am going to be dressing him all snug and warm and found some dinky little hats that match the sleepsuits so he will look adorable!

5 x Muslin squares

These were my staple item for the first nine months of Dylan's life and I used them as cot sheets, to wipe up sick and dribble and as breastfeeding covers among other things.  These are one of the only things I haven't got new for the hospital bag as I did end up with so many last time!

2 x Scratch Mitts

Even though the sleepsuits I have chosen have inbuilt scratch mitts, I felt like I should pack a couple of pairs 'just in case'

1 x Booties

The best thing about winter babies is all the cute and snuggly accessories!

1 x Newborn Snowsuit

I want to make sure Squish is lovely and cosy when we take him home and I love newborns in all white so I bought this gorgeous penguin snowsuit from Kiddicare

2 x Blankets

I am sure I will only need one, but I just couldn't decide so I have thrown both in!  There is a lovely white and rainbow Frugi blanket and a knitted colourful one that I chose from Mothercare.

20 x Size one nappies

Self explanatory really!

4 x Cloth Nappies

I have packed four gorgeous and tiny Tots Bots Teenyfits.  I love the idea of using cloth from birth, but I am not sure if I am brave enough yet as I do remember how revolting the meconium really is! I have the option this way and will see how I feel when Squish is here

Baby Wipes and Cotton Wool

I intend to use cotton wool and water for all nappy changes in the first few days so I have packed a pack of cotton wool, but never understimate a newborn - baby wipes may well be a necessity!

Swaddle Blanket

We never swaddled Dylan but I fell in love with these gorgeous swaddle gro bags from Ergo Pouch at the baby show and have one ready in the newborn size to keep my new little man all cosy and help him sleep.



I will also have a newborn Car seat of course to take the little guy home in!  I have managed to fit most of this into my new changing bag but I have to admit that the blankets are in my bag now as they just wouldn't fit.

As you can see this fab changing bag makes a perfect hospital bag and I can't wait to have a tiny baby to fit into all these gorgeous new things!






Disclaimer:  I was provided with a Pink Lining changing bag free of charge but all thoughts and opinions are completely my own.

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36 Weeks Pregnant

Only another week until I am deemed 'full term' and that is when the panic will begin.  For now it still feels like I have plenty of time before the little guys arrival so I am still putting off as much as I can!  Here I am at 36 weeks;

On the Inside

I had a routine midwife appointment on Wednesday and he has confirmed that baby Squish is now fully engaged - something I had guessed from all the groin pain I have been having and the lack of any kicks in the rib area.  Everything is going well though and I had to have bloods taken this week too as I am hoping to give birth in the midwife led unit and I need to prove my iron levels are high enough and that I am healthy and fighting fit.  

I am getting quite a few pains low down now and have found that baths before bed really help to relax my body.  Somehow I have made it to 36 weeks without needing any extra toilet trips and I am very thankful as falling asleep at night isn't as easy as it once was - at least I can stay asleep until the little guy wakes me up!

Tiredness is certainly kicking in during the daytimes and although I haven't been taking many naps yet, the TV is playing a much bigger role in childcare as I don't always have the energy to do the same puzzle for the 76th time.  I am still working though and can get through an 8 hour shift on my feet no problems - it is amazing how a toddler can tire you out!

On the Outside

Bump has definitely dropped now that the little guy has discovered his escape route and It looks like he may fall out at any moment! Not too many new stretchmarks though however I have outgrown several of my maternity tops now.  Dresses seem to be the way forward if I don't want to flash too much skin and they are also the most comfortable thing to wear.

Bump is still measuring larger than average but not as big as with Dylan so I am intending to pack newborn still for the hospital bag, even if I have to squish the little one into it!  

I am still nowhere near organised, but I have a gorgeous new Pink Lining bag ready to pack baby's bits into and we have everything ordered ready for Squish's room - just need to unpack all the boxes that are clogging it up first!

Next update will be at 38 weeks - the point where Dylan was born so I am hoping I make it that far! 

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Preparing to be a Brother

Dylan has spent nearly 18 months as an only child and has been spoilt in the process. I spend my days doing activities specifically designed around him.  He has kisses and cuddles whenever he wants them, we went to baby groups when he was little and now go to toddler groups designed speciically for his age group.  We see friends with children his age and at the weekends he has both mummy and daddy wrapped around his fingers.  There has been no doubt since the moment he entered this world who was in charge!

He is going to be in for a shock when the new baby arrives and he has to share my attention all day long.  There will be times when I am busy feeding a newborn and cannot help him with his puzzles.  There will be days that I am too tired for early morning groups and he has to make do with an extra dose of cbeebies.

How on earth do I prepare him for this change?

Still my baby!

He will only be 18 month when Squish arrives and although I have tried to talk about the baby as much as possible, he doesn't really seem to get it.  No matter how much I tell him there is a baby in mummy's tummy - when I ask him where the baby is, he looks around confused that he can't see a real baby.  

I think he knows things are going to change as his behaviour certainly has these last couple of weeks.  He has developed a very clingy side and doesn't want to be out of my reach.  Suddenly I cannot leave the room for a second without a full blown tantrum!  We have the moses basket in the living room already and when I mention that it is for the baby,  he brings his football over and puts it in.  He has a bit of a thing for pushing the football round in his pushchair though so maybe it is his baby?

I am trying to make the most of these last few weeks when we have whole days together, just the two of us by going for walks without the pushchair, knowing I can carry him when he gets tired, and doing lots more drawing and crafty bits that involve giving him my full attention - unfortunately it won't be so easy next month!

I would love to hear how you helped prepare your children for the arrival of  brother or sister and any tips for these last few weeks to make things easier on the little dude?!

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34 Weeks Pregnant

With only 6 weeks to go bump is feeling rather large although I am sure I was bigger first time around! I am hoping this means a slightly smaller baby, but I am preparing for another chunky monkey anyway.  Here is the 34 week bump -

On the Outside

I think my bump is rather low but I have felt like this throughout the entire pregnancy so I don't think it has dropped yet.  With Dylan I could feel his bum up by my ribs but this baby is either smaller or lower down - I am blaming weaker stomach and pelvic floor muscles!

I do feel big, but not too big and I appear to be measuring about right or only slightly over for dates now so I remain optimistic that the little one will fit into newborn clothes when he arrives.  The midwife is happy with his size and growth and I have another appointment in two weeks - much more frequent than in my first pregnancy!

Movements have definitely changed and I don't get so many kicks now.  What seems to happen is he does twists and turns which completely distort my belly and you see it moving around like there is a party going on in there! He is definitely running out of space though and I can always feel the outline of his body where my tummy is hardest.

On the Inside

I think the tiredness may be beginning to kick in this week as I have been practically falling asleep as I play with Dylan some days.  I do find that if I am out all day or have people over that I seem to have more energy but sitting on the living room floor all I want to do is lie down and have a snooze!

My back is not suffering like it did in the first pregnancy but I do get some groin aches, especially on the odd occasion I sit down for more than ten minutes and then try and get up again.

Still no cravings, nausea or heartburn and I am hoping I have been lucky enough to get away without any of the awkward symptoms yet again! I am still managing to sleep through the night with no insomnia or toilet trips and hoping this continues!  I don't really feel like pregnancy is restricting me yet and am still crawling around on the floor playing trains and dinosaurs like I did before I got so big. 

I have lots of plans for the last few weeks of pregnancy including numerous trips to London so taking it easy is certainly not an option. I am not on maternity leave until 2 days before my due date as well so really pushing my luck!
 Although we still are nowhere near ready for the little guy to arrive, I do now have all the essentials for the first few days and I am happier knowing that they are sorted.  I have bought some newborn nappies and the dreadful but all too necessary maternity pads.  We have some tiny newborn clothes and today my gorgeous new Moses basket from Shnuggle arrived.  It is so white and beautiful and has really got me excited about the impending arrival! I already know exactly where it is going to go and I will write a full review once the little man is here and sleeping peacefully in it, but until then you can admire how prepared I am and forget about the fact Squish's room is still full of boxes that have to be unpacked before we can carpet and paint his nursery!

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The Difference a Midwife Makes

Pregnancy can be a confusing time and we rely on midwives to look after both us as mothers-to-be and our unborn children.  I have realised through my two pregnancies just how different midwife care can be though and how much difference it makes to me as a mother.

During my first pregnancy, I saw my midwife a few times.  I had appointments at 16, 25, 33 and 38 weeks, none of which lasted much longer than 3 minutes.  I entered the room where the midwife proceeded to silently take my blood pressure, check my urine and listen to the heartbeat of baby before giving me a new date and sending me on my way just as confused as to what was going on as when I went in.  I never once got asked how I was feeling, whether I had any questions or whether I was comfortable with the care I was getting.  Being my first experience of pregnancy though, I knew no better.

For my 38 week appointment, I had a cover midwife as my usual man was off sick.  As soon as I entered the room it felt different and I was met with a smile and asked how I was feeling.  This change in approach took me back but I immediately felt relaxed and like I would be able to talk to her.  She asked how old my first child was and was met with a very odd expression on my face - other child?  The reason for my scarce appointments was the mistakes on my notes which the initial midwife had never checked or verified but taken as fact.  She then measured me, read my notes and asked how my growth scans were going - again the shocked face as I confided that my midwife had never mentioned a problem or need for them despite me mentioning to him after my 20 week scan that baby was off the scale on all measurements and I was worried.    She was a lovely woman, put my mind at ease and organised emergency growth scan and GTT for the next day.  It was my first appointment to break the four minute mark!

I realised what midwife care should be.

My hospital experience was fantastic and I could not fault the team there.  I had a student midwife and her supervisor and they were calm and friendly leading to me having what I can almost describe as an enjoyable birth experience.

This pregnancy I am unfortunate enough to have the first midwife again, and as I felt like I know what I am doing with this actually being my second child, I have not asked to swap.  I have been much more forceful with any questions although he is still incredibly evasive with his answers.  I am lucky that the pregnancy is progressing smoothly and that at my appointment today I had a cover midwife.  I realised again how different the different care can make you feel.  Rather than coming away wondering what the point was when I am in and out within 3 minutes, I left feeling positive that I was being looked after, that they would keep an eye on my worries and that everything was going well again.  This midwife wants to see me every two weeks until my due date as she thinks it is an important time and I am more than happy to oblige!

This time round I am hoping to give birth in a newly opened midwife led unit in my local hospital.  Out of all the midwives I have met, there is only one that I have found unhelpful and unfriendly and I am just crossing my fingers that he is not on duty at the MLU when Squish decides to make an appearance!

How was your midwife care?  Did they put you at ease or make you more nervous?  I am hoping that my experience is the minority!

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32 Weeks Pregnant

I have been in no hurry to write this post, as I am in no hurry for this pregnancy to hurry up.  I may have a few aches and miss some of my normal clothes, but I still remember how much I missed my bump once Dylan was here, and I am making the most of these last few weeks.  Christmas did make me rather thankful for the maternity clothes however, and as everyone else sat around unbuttoning their jeans, I was comfortable and no more bloated than usual! 

Here I am at 32 weeks (Not a clear picture but the only one I have!)

On the Inside

Baby is a proper wriggler and although he is now head down, his body moves all over the place.  I am also noticing if I try and sit forward he will often give me a sharp kick to the ribs reminding me that he needs his wiggle room!  I have also noticed how connected Squish seems to be to Dylan.  If Dylan gets upset and cries, I notice Squish wake up straight away and start squirming, even if I am the opposite end of the house and can barely hear him myself.  I am hoping it is a sign that they will have a great connection when he is here as well.  Dylan is starting to become a bit more aware of my expanding tummy, but he still seems quite far off really knowing what is going on.

I am starting to get a few more aches, especially after a long day on my feet at work, or after carrying Dylan a lot, but nothing too bad yet and mostly in my back.  I also have what I believe to be Braxton Hicks for the first time last week, although having never had them in my first pregnancy I am still not entirely sure.  It was an interesting evening and made me oddly excited about the prospect of going into labour again!

Still no heartburn, nausea or cravings so the pregnancy is going as smoothly as it did first time round I think. I am still not getting tired, and I am really hoping it stays that way as Dylan is only getting more active!  Having the Norovirus last week did take it out of me a bit, but luckily everyone here is recovered now and was healthy for Christmas.

On the Outside

According to my midwife bump is measuring just above the 90th centile, but as Dylan was born on the 95th, he is not concerned -  It looks like I just make big babies!  I am feeling quite big now though and a few of my maternity tops don't quite reach my jeans any more!  As baby seems to have got into a better position, my bump appears to have become a little more neat and I am hoping that he stays head down now in preparation for the big day.  I am starting to get a few more stretch marks, and at this point last pregnancy I had none, so I am dreading the end result - I have quite a few from Dylan but they all appeared in the last two weeks.


I have officially nominated January as my month to prepare for baby (not that I have much choice being due in February) and we have a LOT to do! Hopefully by the time I write my 34 week bump diary I will have made a start!

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The Second Baby

With a second baby due in only two months, I have been thinking a lot about what I will do differently.  I feel like I was thrown head first into motherhood the first time, with no clue what I was doing or how to look after this tiny helpless little newborn.  The love was instinctual and I knew I would do anything to protect this baby of mine, but I didn't always know how.

Breastfeeding seemed to come naturally, and I made decisions based on what I thought was right, what I read and what I felt my son wanted.  I am far from knowing what I am doing even now but I do have a gorgeous, clever, friendly and generally well behaved toddler so I would like to think at least some of that is due to me getting something right as he has grown up. 

With Squish, I have been wondering what I will do differently,

Whether I will feed him for longer, or not so long?

Will I will be stricter about him being in bed with me in the early days, or will I will be more relaxed?

Will I dress this baby differently?  Treat him differently as he is my second child?  Wean him earlier?  Spend less money on him?

Will I be the same parent to both my children?

In all honesty, only time will tell how things go once I have my two little boys around, but I do know that I want to bring Squish up in as similar a way as possible to Dylan.  I know that I want to breastfeed for around 9 months, just like I did his brother.  I know that should he want to sleep on me in the early days then so be it.  I will need my sleep more than ever and babies need the security.  There will come a point, much like with Dylan where Squish wants his own space and he will go into his own bed.  I will worry less about it because I know now that it was the right thing for us the first time around.

I know that this baby will have a lot of hand me downs, but also his own clothes and his own personality.  No two children are the same, and I am not expecting another little Dylan.  I want to look after this individual and do what is right for him, at the right times and in the right way, ignoring what I did with Dylan.  Obviously previous experience plays a huge role, but so does following the signs and I hope I can do this with little Squish.

I know that things will not be the same.  I will not have the time to stop and stare at this beautiful little life as much as I did the first time around.  I will not be able to tailor my days around this second baby as the first has his needs still, but hopefully having a brother, a playmate and another person to love will make up for this for both of my boys.

I know I will love this child just as much as I love Dylan, and I know I will do whatever I can to make sure he is happy and healthy.  I can only hope that I make the right decisions along the way.


Did you do things differently with a second child or do you think you will?  

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Liforma Bump Band Review

I thought I had tried every trick in the book to try and prevent the dreaded stretch marks so when I heard about Liforma I was curious.  Liforma is not just a cream, it is a bump band, innovatively made with raised spots on the inside that are designed to stop stretchmarks in their tracks.  

The pack comes with a day gel, which you put on and allow it to dry for a few seconds, before pulling on the bump band.  The band comes in several sizes so you can pick the right one for your shape and stage of pregnancy, and are much like the bump bands I have to hide my tummy when my tops are too short or jeans don't do up.  The idea is that you wear the bump band under your clothes all day and then apply the seperate moisturising night cream before going to bed and taking the band off.

One of the first things I noticed was that the band was nice and snug, even in a large and I felt like my back was getting some protection.  I work as a waitress which can put stress on my body during pregnancy, and I have found that wearing the band gives me less back pain at the end of the day.  I found that the day gel needed to be reapplied midway through the day as if your skin dries it can become itchy, but reapplying once was enough to keep my bump feeling moisturised and soft and only took a few seconds.  The night cream is lovely and rich and the same texture as many other pregnancy body lotions.

I did find that occasionally the band did get uncomfortable, and the lower elastic band could become too tight, even though I was wearing a size large and am only a size 8 pre-pregnancy.  I also found that wearing thinner tops meant you could see the spots on  the bump through it.  As this pregnancy is mostly through winter, this isn't an issue as I am usually quite covered up however should it be a summer pregnancy it would be difficult to wear the band under a white vest or T-shirt without it being quite noticeable.

I can't say for sure how effective the band is, as I have numerous stretch marks from my first pregnancy and have not worn it every day so far but reading the science behind it has reassured me that Liforma may really be onto something.  I think that worn properly this would be quite an effective treatment and worn occasionally I find it helps support my back and keep my bump moisturised and looked after.  It is not the cheapest method but it is your body and you only get one so I don't think there is a price you can put on having a scar free tummy should it be one of your priorities.  I would love to hear some testimonies from people that wore this religiously throughout pregnancy so should you have the Liforma kit, please let me know!

You can purchase this Liforma pack through an approved stockist for £84.99

Disclaimer:  I was sent a day gel, night cream and bump band for the purpose of this review but all thoughts and opinions are my own.

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30 Weeks Pregnant

I am now 30 weeks, which means I am three quarters of the way through this journey and I am starting to get asked very often if I am getting fed up with being pregnant.  I am quite honestly one of those people that enjoys pregnancy though, and as much as I cannot wait to meet my little baby, I am in no rush to do so!  Every morning I wake up and admire my bump and I love feeling the little wriggler kicking away.

Here is the 30 week bump:

On the Inside

Things may be getting more cramped and sometimes Squish's movements are getting quite strong now.  It can feel like he is trying to break out at times but luckily this is mostly in the evenings when I can just lie down and give him the space to wriggle.  During the day the movements are much more muted, but getting harder to mistake.  I still have no cravings or heartburn but after a long day on my feet and a little rest, I do struggle to get back up again and sometimes have tummy pains.  I think this may be a sign of overdoing it but I am so used to my active lifestyle I am struggling to slow down at all.

I am starting to feel much more connected to the baby and spending more time with my hands on my tummy just feeling him kick away.  I have also started planning his room and looking for the perfect material to make his crib bumper.  I am still nowhere near ready for his arrival, but entering the thirties means I am thinking about it more.  Once Christmas is out the way, hopefully I will be a bit more organised!

On the Outside

I feel like bump has not really grown much recently, and it is slightly smaller than when I was pregnant the first time around.  I have the midwife next week, so I can find out just how the little one is measuring.  The bump is definitely a different shape to last time as Squish is still lying across and so pushing out at the sides.  This means that my bump is not as neat as last time, but I still think it looks like a typical 'boy bump'.  I do think it looks very low already though so let's hope baby is not getting ready for an early appearance!

I still don't think Dylan understands much but he is starting to show an interest in my bump, and has been giving it a few cuddles recently too.  I know it is going to be a complete shock to him when the little one arrives, so if I can help him understand any part of it then I will keep trying.

Next update will be after Christmas now and I can only imagine bump will be twice the size with all the Christmas dinner and yule log I plan on munching! 

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Ready for Two???

I may have mentioned in my 28 Weeks Pregnant  post that I am not feeling ready for two little people to be dependent on me but the reality is that there is less than 12 weeks to go before I meet the little Squish and it becomes a reality. My days revolve around Dylan - I get up when he does, we eat our breakfast together, go to toddler groups and see other children his age.  We read books together, play games, go for walks and have lots of cuddles. These are all things that will be much more difficult with a second child around.

Still my baby boy

I think what scares me even more is the

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28 Weeks Pregnant

I am now well and truly in the final trimester but it still feels like I have ages before baby Squish makes an appearance.  I am desperately hoping that time starts slowing down as I am not ready for two physically or mentally yet! I am thinking that once Christmas is out the way I will start getting ready for the little man so he is under strict orders to stay put until at least the first of February!

Here is my 28 week bump:

On the Outside

I am getting lots of comments about my round bump, and just like in my first pregnancy, it looks like someone has stuck a football up my top.  I think it looks quite low but it is definitely very round now.  I weighed myself for the first time since 12 weeks and I have

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Pregnancy the Second Time Around

Being pregnant for the first time is an exciting and nervous experience.  I remember reading blogs and watching pregnancy vlogs on a daily basis and I could always tell you exactly how big baby was, what stage in development he was at and anything else you may possibly want to know.  I became a pregnancy geek, with a bookcase full of information and always looking for an excuse to discuss the amazing feats my body was capable of.

During my first pregnancy, I spent every day admiring my growing bump.  I sat there with my hands on my bare belly feeling the little dude kick and spent hours in the bath chatting and bonding with my unborn child.  I planned colour schemes for the nursery, researched the meanings of names I liked and made list upon list of things we would need, things we might want, luxuries, essentials and brands I had heard good things about.  Every purchase was well thought out and every decision very conscious.

With my first pregnancy, I was incredibly cautious, never lifting anything above the recommended 5kg limit, never eating blue cheese or pate, never doing anything that may be on a 'forbidden' list.  I was adamant that I would do pregnancy perfectly and follow the text book.

My first pregnancy has given me a gorgeous little boy and I loved every single second of it.  The second time around though, I haven the very same little boy along on the journey, and things are going rather differently!

This time, I

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26 Weeks Pregnant

The weeks seem to be flying by and I really don't feel ready for another baby yet so I am hoping that things start slowing down now and that Squish is happy to wait out another 12 weeks at least in my tummy.  Bump growth is definitely slowed although when I look at pictures from my last pregnancy I think they are very similarly sized for the same stage.

On the Inside

I am pretty sure this baby is

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Making your Maternity Clothes Last.

Being due mid August in my first pregnancy,  my maternity clothes consisted of summer dresses, vests and shorts.  This time I am going to be big over the winter and so a whole new wardrobe is needed.  I have been trying to think of creative ways to make my summer maternity clothes wearable again, as buying a whole new set is certainly a cost I can do without!  I have invested in the staples - some comfy jeans, long sleeved tops and jumpers, but have been making the most of my existing maternity clothes and wearing them in different ways.

So here is a little summer dress (from Matalan) I wore during my pregnancy with Dylan, dressed for autumn.  I originally wore it on it's own with just some pretty sandals but this time have dressed it up with tights, a shirt, a belt and a cardigan.

I have a couple of pairs of comfy maternity shorts (from New Look), and again have used leggings and autumny tops to make them into outfits suitable for the

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24 Weeks Pregnant

I have reached 24 weeks and it feels like a milestone.  Using the rather crude term, Squish is now viable which means should he decide my womb is no longer comfortable, he would stand a fighting chance at survival.  We have had a word and decided that another 13 weeks at least would be lovely though so here is hoping he stays put!  Here is my 24 week bump in all it's glory:

On the Inside

I am finding sleeping a lot less comfortable and even with my lovely long pillow I still have to wake up to change sides every few hours.  I have also found that

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