What I have Learned in the Past Two Months

I had my first four babies all so close together, that the newborn stage still felt like a recent memory when the next baby came along, but there has been a gap of over five years this time and there was so much I had forgotten over those years.  Rex is now two months (and a bit - first thing I remembered is how much longer it takes to get anything done with a newborn) and I thought I would share a few things I have learned (or re-learned) over the past two months

1. How easy it was to forget the sleep deprivation

We all know that new babies don't sleep through the night, but we don't really understand what that means or how it feels unless it is our reality.  I knew it of course, but I had forgot how the lack of real sleep affects my functions and how unrelenting it is as a breasfeeding mother who can't get anyone else to help with the night feeds.  I think what I find hardest is the not knowing, when some nights he can do a long stretch and others he seems to wake every twenty minutes.  Each night I go to bed with no idea how much sleep I am actually going to get and whether I will be able to function as a human in the morning!

2. How quickly the heart expands to fit another child

I worried that our hearts and lives were full already, that four children is so many without adding in a fifth, but I forgot how quickly our hearts expand to fit in one more.  I don't have to share my love between them, spreading it thinner with each new baby, it grows instead each time in ways I cannot explain.  The love I have for each child is unique and individual and as powerful as if there were only one.

3. The benefits of a bigger age gap

This is all new to me, previously I had four babies aged four and under so apart from the first, I navigated the baby days with another baby or toddler in tow.  Dylan got to attend baby massage and sensory groups but none of the others could do any baby centric activities.  I think they got so much from having siblings close in age, but it means I feel like a new mum again with Rex, having so many hours a day with just him to occupy me.  Having a bigger age gap also means the other children are much more independent, they don't need the same level of attention to keep them safe and they are able to help out with the baby, reading him stories, cuddling him and singing him songs.  They are more helpful and less of a liability!

4. The need to change a little boy's nappy quickly

Anyone who has a little boy will know what I mean by this.  I was brutally reminded when Rex weed all over my last pair of clean leggings!

5. How quickly newborns grow

He was born 7lb 13oz and in the past 2.5 months I have had to pack away three different sizes of clothes already, each with sadness about the stage left behind.  This newborn stage may well be my favourite but it is also the shortest and they grow so fast and learn so much every day.  Of course it is bittersweet because growing means they start sleeping better, they start responding more and those early smiles just make everything so much easier. 

6. How giant my other children are

I have referred to Cora as 'Tiny Girl' for so long, she is still one of the smallest in her class, with friends whose shoulders she only just reaches, but with a new baby around, she just seems giant.  She is so large, so capable and not tiny in the slightest.  Don't even get me started on the size of my ten year old whose feet are now the same size as mine - it is hard to believe he was ever that small! 

7. That I can do it all . . . but not for long

For the first week I was running on adrenaline.  I thought I could do it all and I was.  I was cooking, cleaning, doing school runs and taking things on with the belief I would always feel that great. Somewhere around day 8 the tiredness kicked in, the hormones started to balance and I just felt exhausted.  I regretted the fact that I had started doing it all as the expectation seemed to be that I was capable, but it is easy to burn out.  I needed to stop trying to be a martyr and accept the help I was offered and know my limits. 

 

8. The importance of my village

I know how privileged I am to have a village, to have friends and family locally and I realised that when Rex was born.  Friends helped with school runs as we worked out how to balance the two separate schools and clubs, they sent cakes and supplies, they helped entertain the bigger children and they were always there to listen and support.  Adjusting to a new baby was made so much easier knowing I was surrounded by people that wanted to help us.

This newborn stage is coming to an end, my tiny baby is growing daily, learning new skills, becoming more alert and reminding me of all that is to come. 

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Baby 5 - A Birth Story

I have had four babies before so I know how painful labour is, but still I found myself looking forward to it in a strange way as I approached our due date with baby no 5.  I think it is knowing what comes at the end of the pain, knowing how worthwhile it all is (and it helps knowing my labours tend to be quite speedy).  I had convinced myself that I was going to give birth on the Tuesday before my due date this time (my last three babies have all come a few days early) so I woke up on Saturday morning determined to use the weekend to get everything ready.

I did three loads of washing, built the crib and took Cora out for some special time as I knew it would be her that will be most affected by the new arrival.  We had a lovely productive day and got home just after 4pm.  Around 6pm, I noticed that I was getting quite a few Braxton Hicks, the painless tightenings but I didn't think they would lead anywhere so I carried on as normal.  At 7pm, after having them painlessly for an hour, they started to change and I wondered whether I could possibly be in early labour. Because my plans for a home birth had been cancelled due to staff shortages, I decided to ring up the hospital and find out what the options were if things progressed during the evening and was told that the midwife led unit was also not able to take any more women due to staff shortages but the labour ward had spaces when I felt ready to come in.  We left it that I would ring back if things progressed.

I called my mum next, who was on standby to look after the other children and told her that I thought this could be it.  I have a history of short labours so I knew I needed to get plans into place early.  My body was telling my to walk so I decided to go for a walk.  As it was already dark, I walked round to the local Asda and paced the aisles.  With Cora, my contractions came fast when I walked and stopped completely when I sat down and I felt like this one would be the same.  I came home and had a quick dinner and then carried on pacing upstairs as things started to kick in more.  Cora could sense that things were happening I think and decided she wanted to hold my hand as we walked around the house. 

I didn't time the contractions and was still able to walk and talk through them, but when my mum arrived around 7.45pm, I decided it was best to make the 15 minute drive to the hospital and then I could walk around the grounds if I wasn't ready to go in yet, but at least we were in the right place.  We parked up just after 8pm and I decided we would go straight in and explain that although I hadn't rung back, I was definitely in labour now.

We were taken into day-care/triage so they could assess whether I was ready for the labour ward yet.  They did my blood pressure and other checks and asked me how my pain was on a scale of 1-10 - I answered a 7, and then left us whilst they checked me in on the system. A few minutes later I felt strong pressure and my waters burst all over the floor. My first thought was to panic about my boots as I hadn't brought any spare shoes with me so I made Ed remove them before he went to get a midwife.  They came back and could see that things were progressing very quickly, so they helped me into a wheelchair and raced me round to the labour ward.  They knew I wanted the MLU so they took me to the room with a birthing pool.  As I stood up from the wheelchair I could feel the baby's head coming, so I had two midwives peeling off my now very wet jeans as I stood up leaning on the side of the pool and gave birth in two pushes to the most perfect baby boy. The midwives passed him up to me and helped me to a bed and left the cord for over 5 minutes before cutting it.

He was born 8 days before his due date at 8.28pm weighing a smaller than expected 7lb 13oz.  I don't know if it has just been so long since I held a newborn but he felt so much smaller.  Just like his big brother and sister before him, once he decided to come, things went very quickly! 

The placenta came naturally soon after and after a few hours just the three of us, baby and I were transferred to the ward for the night.  Due to a complication during the pregnancy, it needed to be the paediatric doctor doing the new baby check rather than the midwife so we had to stay until we could be seen (which ended up being 6pm the next evening).  Thankfully everything was signed off and we could take our healthy baby boy back to the madhouse to meet his excited big brothers and sister. 

We are now 8 days into life as a family of seven (which still feels like a strange thing to write) and this baby has settled in perfectly.  He is so calm and tolerant of the others who want to be hands on and he almost seems more settled when the house is noisy and chaotic than he does when it is peaceful.  He is the final piece we never realised was missing.

After nearly two weeks, we finally agreed on his name  - Rex Arthur

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iCandy Newborn Gift Set

We have been iCandy fans since before our first baby even arrived and I am loving having the opportunity to work with iCandy now through my blog.  They sent me this beautiful gift set before our baby girl arrived and I love the simple classic style.  It comes in a little white case which is perfect for saving those baby keepsakes and comes with a hat, mittens, booties, a ribbon tape measure and a wonderful toy.

It isn't quite the weather to wrap up warm but these accessories are so cute and are such amazing quality.  The pram toy will be hanging on our iCandy Peach ready for Cora when she can control her arms a little better and the tape measure has gone round my bump as well as measuring all 52.5cm of baby girl.

The accessories are all perfectly sized for a newborn baby - they fit a nearly 3 week old Cora just perfectly.  I adore the little booties, there is something so sweet about shoes so tiny!

This beautiful gift set is £50 and available from the iCandy website.

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The First 10 Days

10 days ago I gave birth, we welcomed a daughter, we became a six.  It was a wonderful homebirth,  It was calm, quiet and everything I hoped for.  Her first hours were spent on me, feeding, cuddling and having skin to skin.  Her first night she spent on my chest, something that felt natural to us both and I woke in disbelief that this perfect tiny girl was really mine.

These first ten days have gone fast, we have spent every moment together, every day attached and every night cuddled up together in my bed,  I have had the opportunity to do this my way, something that wasn't possible with Finn.  I spent his early days in fear, not knowing what was wrong, worrying for his future, watching him through his fish bowl, only allowed to hold him at certain times, not able to feed him myself.  With this new little baby of ours I have been able to hold her and feed her and enjoy these precious first days and I feel so thankful for that. 

After a few days we finally decided on her name - Cora Jayne.  She is the first of our babies to get her 'bump name' - the name I envisaged her having throughout the pregnancy and it feels just perfect for our little girl.  On day 9 we made it official and registered her birth.  The boys mostly still call her 'the new baby' but they also proudly tell people her name.

We have welcomed so many visitors and tried to find time to just be on our own too.  We have eaten cake every day and I have drunk more cups of tea in these 10 days than in the last 10 months.  We have cuddled up on the sofa together, had nap time together, gone out together and shared these early days.  I have hardly picked up my big camera, but I have taken so many phone snaps in these 10 days.  Every night I feel emotional that another day has passed, that she is that little bit older and bigger.

At 10 days old our baby girl is still a little limpet, happiest on her mama.  She is breastfeeding well after a few problems with her latch and she is sleeping most of the day with a few periods of being very alert.  She hasn't quite got the message that the crib is her bed and she much prefers being with me at night.  She wants to sleep on her tummy - turns out she can't read the books yet that tell us babies must sleep on their backs, and she loves being snug in the sling.  She is squishy and warm and just perfect and we are still in that wonderful newborn bubble.  Next Monday is the end of paternity leave and the start of our new normal and I am nervous and excited about the challenges that involves.  For now, I don't want to imagine her being any older than she is now, I don't want to wish away any time, I want to enjoy these precious and amazing early days where she is so new and we are learning so much about each other.

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Newborn Baby Wishlist

This is now my fourth baby and I have worked out what I really want and use, and what I don't.  Some of the things I thought were 'essentials' when I was pregnant with Dylan were never used and things I had never thought of became the bits I couldn't live without.

I am so excited to be carrying a baby girl this time, but I have found that for those very newborn purchases, most of the things I like are pretty unisex anyway.  I adore colour on babies, but I love a newborn in white still and whilst I am not anti - pink at all, I am not desperate to be surrounded by it either.

I have put together a little wishlist for when our baby girl arrives, just things for those first weeks, the newborn stage.

Newborn Baby Wishlist by beckygower featuring a playsuit romper

ELIZABETH Tan / White Rainbow Sleepsuits Three Pack (0mths-2yrs) / Buy John Lewis Baby Safari Animals Print Dress, Teal | John Lewis / The Little Green Sheep / Snuz Crib Bedding Set Cloud Nine The Little Green Sheep / Playsuit romper / Hot Air Balloon Tula Baby Carrier / TotsBots Teenyfit V4 Treasure / Swoon motion / celebration bamboo swaddles / Choose a Bundle - Poddle Pod UK / bugaboo-donkey-duo-black-off-white-f.jpg (600×600) / Wine Maroon Wrap Sling

With a small age gap this time (16 months) I will be alternating between a double buggy and a sling and single.  I love the Bugaboo donkey as I can have a carrycot and still have Finn facing me and for a newborn I will use mostly a stretchy wrap.  I will be using my Snuzpod again whch got carefully stored away after Finn outgrew it and I love the new collection of bedding, especially the grey and yellow.

For first clothes, I love Next sleepsuits and these rainbows are top of my list. I have added in a beautiful muslin romper for those hot summer days and a little dress too - after all this is the first girl after three boys.

The poddle pod looks great for keeping baby snug, as do the swaddle muslins, and if baby isn't keen on being swaddled then I find you can never have enough muslins, the larger ones are perfect to use as sheets in the carrycot too.

I fancy a nice changing bag again and mine broke very recently.  After three babies I definitely prefer a less baby and more Mama style and this looks elegant and practical.

What would you put on a wishlist, is there anything essential I have forgotten about?

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My Top Five Products for a Feeding Mum

I have been the mum that would try breastfeeding with no pressure. I have been the mum hiding in a toilet, worried about breastfeeding in public.  I have been the mum that weaned onto bottles.  I have been the mum who knew she would breastfeed before her baby was even born.  I have been the mum proudly breastfeeding.  I have been the mum who breastfed a toddler.  I have been the mum that cup fed.  I have been the mum that bottlefeeds.  I have been the mum that does her very best for her babies, and makes sure they are fed, happy and growing.

I have breastfed, cup fed and bottle fed, and whilst there are some products brilliantly designed for a certain way of feeding, there are also a lot of products that are just fantastic for those mums that regularly feed their children.  Here are my top 5

-Muslins.

Muslins are genius things, so simple, so underated until you have a baby to feed, and then you realise their worth.  I used them as a light cover when I felt nervous feeding in public, I have used them as a burping cloth, and as a makeshift bib for a baby with reflux.  However I feed my baby, I make sure I have a muslin close at hand.

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Me and Mine March

March has been manic, but it has seen us bringing home the newest member of the family, Finn.  The first half was spent apart as Finn and I were in special care and the bigger boys at home and since we have been reunited, it has been about adjusting to three small boys and life as a family of five.

We weren't going to attempt anything too ambitious this month, and this photo sums up March pretty well.  There have been lots of cuddles, more time than usual spent on the sofa, and I have looked exhausted throughout.  We have been together though, learning about one another and we have done it smiling (especially Archie!)

This month Mummy is loving having all her family together under one roof, managing to get all three boys to nap at the same time, cuddles on the sofa with all three of her babies and eating proper food again after 3 weeks of hospsital cuisine.

Daddy is loving Peppa Pig cake for his birthday, having Mummy back home to share the childcare, building Dinosaurland out of cardboard boxes with Dylan and the warmer weather.

Dylan is loving gardening with Daddy, watching Blaze on Nikolodeon, having cake in the hospital cafe and proudly showing off our new baby.

Archie is loving having Mummy home again, taking his lunchbox to nursery, singing Twinkle Twinkle to Finn and telling people to come here 'RIGHT NOW'.

Finn is loving having mummy's milk again, snoozing on Mummy's chest, the chatter of his brothers and being out of the hospital.

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The First Three Weeks

When our beautiful baby boy was handed to us three weeks ago, we had no idea what was in store for us.  He looked healthy and happy and as we counted his fingers and toes, wondered at how tiny he was and enjoyed those precious first moments, we had no idea it would be days before we could take him home and really start life as a family of five.

Our little Pretzel was born with a rare virus, which meant his first days were punctuated with tests and scans to try and find out more.  Thankfully many things which we find painful didn't seem to trouble the little guy who managed to frequently fall asleep during blood tests.  We were well looked after in the Special Care Baby Unit and once he had a diagnosis we could start all the relevant medicines.

After nearly three weeks, our baby was finally able to come home, and real life could start.  Things are not over and we were sent home with lots of medication and follow up appointments but our family is together, and on Monday night we all slept under the same roof.  We are so thankful to everyone who visited, messaged us, sent gifts, prayed for us and thought of us.  

Whilst there was plenty that wasn't positive about those first few weeks, the things I want to remember are those special moments, some completely ordinary, some more amazing because of the circumstances.

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The Baby Box Company Review

The Baby Box Company make lovely gift boxes for new babies and we were lucky enough to be sent one to review.  I chose the 'really useful' medium box as I loved the contents and it arrived beautifully packaged.  Unfortunately, I left the box, thinking I would photograph it in the morning when the light was better and two small boys found it first, so you don't get to see it looking lovingly wrapped but I can show you what is inside.

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New Baby Life Cover

With a new baby on the way, looking after myself and my family are top of my list of priorities.  If anything were to happen to me, I would leave the poor bloke with three small children on his own, not only difficult but very expensive.  Three children under four that would require him to either give up work or shell out more than he could afford on childcare.  Three children with huge appetites and the tendency to grow out of their clothes far too fast!

It wasn't until recently that we actually purchased life insurance, but the realisation of what single parenthood would involve, or even worse, what would happen if something happened to us both and the responsibility of bringing up our brood fell to someone else, meant we knew it was important.

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Thing 1, Thing 2 and Thing 3

"We are all a little weird, and life is a little weird and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love"

I found someone to share mutual weirdness with, and then we made our two little things.

Next year will see the arrival of Thing 3

Thing 3 is due early March 2015

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One Month In

I'm not sure if it is the fact that February is so short, but this first month of Archie's life has flown by.  According to my information a baby is considered a newborn for three months, which means I am a third of the way through those squishy, cuddly new baby days and I would love for time to slow down!

Archie has been an alert and curious baby since the moment he entered the world and that certainly has not changed.  Whoever said that

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Shnuggle Review

The Shnuggle moses basket is a fantastic product, and one that we have been lucky enough to test with our new addition.  The actual basket is made of plastic so unlike it's wicker counterparts, it can be cleaned and sterilised completely.  It maintains the traditional moses basket look and feel though, and we have had nothing but compliments as it proudly stands in our living room.

The basket is a good size and I am hoping that Archie will fit comfortably in there for quite some time.  The hood stays up on it's own and the classic cream waffle colour means it would be perfect for a little boy or girl.  We have the moses basket on a stand, and it is the perfect height as Dylan can peek at his brother and reach him for a stroke but not reach in far enough to do much else - Archie sleeps safely!

I have found the basket brilliant to carry round the house as the plastic base means it doesn't squeak or make a noise and wake the little man up.  As Dylan is still young enough to not quite understand Archie's limits, I do tend to take Archie with me as I move rooms and the Shnuggle is easy to carry with the handles and silent meaning sleep is not disturbed.  The basket has a carry handle either side.

Archie is a very snuggly baby and is not a fan of being put down at all, but he seems to happy in his Shnuggle  and we have been encouraging him into napping in there more often.  He is taking to it well and we have some teddies in there to keep him company

I am so impressed with the Shnuggle and think it is definitely worth investing in.  We have a family crib that has been passed down through generations and been a bed to many, many babies, but it is now not at it's best and the wicker sides need to be completely covered on the inside to make it safe for a precious little person.  I am hoping that the Shnuggle will take over as being so easily cleaned it would be perfect to use again.

Not only is it functional it is beautiful and I love watching my gorgeous baby sleep so peacefully in there.

Shnuggle are also launching a new baby bath later on this year, which is crowd funded.  This means that you can help contribute to getting the product to market by purchasing one of the baths now ready for the July launch or making a donation in exchange for a limited edition Shnuggle bath mitt.  The product looks fab and I can't wait to see more once it is officially launched!  If you want to find out more and help Shnuggle get their product to market then check out the Shnuggle Blog


Disclaimer:  I was provided with a Shnuggle moses basket for the purpose of this review but all thoughts and opinions are my own.

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One Week In

We have now been a family of four for one whole week.  

A week of welcoming our new arrival, spending every spare minute watching him sleep, stroking his beautifully soft skin, checking his ten tiny fingers and toes and wondering how we got to be so lucky to have two gorgeous little boys.

A week of learning the logistics of getting out the house with two, getting them both up, fed and dressed in the morning before we go out, and a week of practice with a double pushchair - steering it round shops, putting it up and down and watching the admiring glances.

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Squish's Birth Story

Baby Squish was due on the 20th February, and despite Dylan arriving early I was convinced that this little guy would be late.  I decided therefore to work right up until my due date and went to work on February 16th for my last shift.  Waitressing is physically demanding but I didn't feel like the birth was going to happen any time soon so after finishing  my day I decided to walk the three miles home rather than catch a bus.  I stopped off  at the park on the way back to meet the bloke and Dylan and after a play we all went home for tea and bedtime.   I had no idea  that the next time I saw the little guy he would be a big brother!

The bloke went out for his friend's birthday with a warning that my due date wasn't far away and that he couldn't get too drunk!  As the night went on I started to feel some tightenings but they weren't painful so I presumed it was just braxton hicks.  Just after midnight I decided to go to bed but once I lay down I realised that  the tightenings were getting uncomfortable and sleep was not going to come easily.  The bloke got home after a little while and I told him what was going on, but I still was not convinced that this was labour.

Around half one I decided that this may indeed be the real thing as I was still wide awake lying in bed and things were starting to get painful but I decided rest was the best thing so got out my book.  I had my Labouraide ready and started using the early labour mouth piece when the contractions started.  It was great to have something to bite down on and I think it helped.  By half three I had decided I was almost definitely in labour and started timing contractions.  I found that they weren't consistent with anywhere between 3 and 6 minutes apart and lasting anywhere from 40-60 seconds but they were definitely painful!  I woke up the bloke and we decided that I should ring the Midwife Led Unit to see what they said.  Halfway through the phone call I had to stop talking to have a contraction and the midwife told me to come in to be checked out.

My worst nightmare for labour was getting to the hospital to be told it was not real labour or that I was only one centimetre dilated so I decided to ring a taxi for myself and leave the bloke at home as I didn't want to wake my mum up in the middle of the night for nothing and someone had to stay with Dylan.  

My relaxing room

I arrived at the MLU around half past four and was taken to one of the lovely big rooms by the same midwife that showed me round a few days earlier.  She took my blood pressure, checked babies heartbeat and felt my tummy as I had a contraction.  Her reaction was that they were particularly strong contractions and if they kept up like that then it wouldn't be a long labour.  On examination I was 5cm so I rang my mum and the bloke and organised the changeover.  I had bought my hospital bag along with me but left the baby's at home as I didn't want to tempt fate so I told the bloke to bring it along.

The bloke arrived around half past five and at this point I decided that bouncing on the ball was not enough and I started on the wonderful stuff that is entonox.  It still didn't feel like my contractions were regular and baby still had to descend a bit furthur so I was sure that I had a long time left.  The midwives were lovely and I had a student in with me most of the time who told me that my contractions were still very strong and that she hoped the baby would come before her shift was up.  

At half past six I thought I would check that we had everything but upon asking the bloke for the baby's bag, he let me know that he had forgotten it!  This meant no nappies, no newborn clothes and blankets . . . nothing! We rang my mum but as Dylan was still fast asleep she sent it over in a taxi for us!

At 7am I decided I was really struggling.  I felt like I had only just caught my breath from the last contraction when the next one started.  I had been told to put off the birthing pool for as long as I could as getting in too early could slow the labour down but the midwives thought I was ready and they ran the water for me.  I got in to the pool - entonox still in hand and felt a slight relief on the next contraction thanks to the warmth of the water on my back.

The second contraction in the pool was strong and I felt a pop that let me know my waters had gone.  With the pop I felt a desire to push, but scared that I wasn't ready yet,  felt myself shutting my legs!  With my first pregnancy I had been stuck on the bed and monitored throughout so the sense of freedom and the relaxation at the midwife unit was lovely.  When I told them I wanted to push they told me to just follow my body.  No examinations to check I was ready and no help.  With three pushes my little baby Squish entered the world.  The cord was wrapped around his neck but as he was pulled from the water he started crying before it was even taken off.  He came straight onto my chest and I couldn't believe how perfectly it had all gone and how beautiful my baby son was.

We sat in the pool having a skin to skin cuddle as the midwives waited for the cord to finish pulsating and then the bloke got to cut it.  Squish and I went for a cuddle on the bed and to wait for the placenta to be delivered naturally.

The whole labour was so smooth and fast and I was proud of myself for doing it again with gas and air.   The midwives were really helpful and supportive but not interfering and I felt like I got the birth I always wanted. Squish was born at 7:36am weighing 8lb 5oz but he seems so much smaller than his big brother was! We didn't have a name ready for him and nothing on our lists fitted so he left hospital as Squish.  We were discharged at midday after less than 5 hours as there were no complications and they had had to close the hospital for births soon after I arrived as both the MLU and the labour ward were full!

Swamped in a newborn snowsuit

3 days later, on his official due date we finally had the perfect name.  I had never even considered it until I was in labour and then it came into my head, but it took us a few days to make sure that it was as perfect as he was.

One hour old- Baby Archie

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Our New Arrival

Our family of three is now four thanks to our beautiful new arrival.  Baby Squish arrived three days early on February 17th 2013 at 7:36am weighing 8lb 5oz.  Mummy and Daddy are totally besotted and Dylan has lots of kisses for his 'Bubba'.

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The Difference a Midwife Makes

Pregnancy can be a confusing time and we rely on midwives to look after both us as mothers-to-be and our unborn children.  I have realised through my two pregnancies just how different midwife care can be though and how much difference it makes to me as a mother.

During my first pregnancy, I saw my midwife a few times.  I had appointments at 16, 25, 33 and 38 weeks, none of which lasted much longer than 3 minutes.  I entered the room where the midwife proceeded to silently take my blood pressure, check my urine and listen to the heartbeat of baby before giving me a new date and sending me on my way just as confused as to what was going on as when I went in.  I never once got asked how I was feeling, whether I had any questions or whether I was comfortable with the care I was getting.  Being my first experience of pregnancy though, I knew no better.

For my 38 week appointment, I had a cover midwife as my usual man was off sick.  As soon as I entered the room it felt different and I was met with a smile and asked how I was feeling.  This change in approach took me back but I immediately felt relaxed and like I would be able to talk to her.  She asked how old my first child was and was met with a very odd expression on my face - other child?  The reason for my scarce appointments was the mistakes on my notes which the initial midwife had never checked or verified but taken as fact.  She then measured me, read my notes and asked how my growth scans were going - again the shocked face as I confided that my midwife had never mentioned a problem or need for them despite me mentioning to him after my 20 week scan that baby was off the scale on all measurements and I was worried.    She was a lovely woman, put my mind at ease and organised emergency growth scan and GTT for the next day.  It was my first appointment to break the four minute mark!

I realised what midwife care should be.

My hospital experience was fantastic and I could not fault the team there.  I had a student midwife and her supervisor and they were calm and friendly leading to me having what I can almost describe as an enjoyable birth experience.

This pregnancy I am unfortunate enough to have the first midwife again, and as I felt like I know what I am doing with this actually being my second child, I have not asked to swap.  I have been much more forceful with any questions although he is still incredibly evasive with his answers.  I am lucky that the pregnancy is progressing smoothly and that at my appointment today I had a cover midwife.  I realised again how different the different care can make you feel.  Rather than coming away wondering what the point was when I am in and out within 3 minutes, I left feeling positive that I was being looked after, that they would keep an eye on my worries and that everything was going well again.  This midwife wants to see me every two weeks until my due date as she thinks it is an important time and I am more than happy to oblige!

This time round I am hoping to give birth in a newly opened midwife led unit in my local hospital.  Out of all the midwives I have met, there is only one that I have found unhelpful and unfriendly and I am just crossing my fingers that he is not on duty at the MLU when Squish decides to make an appearance!

How was your midwife care?  Did they put you at ease or make you more nervous?  I am hoping that my experience is the minority!

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Once so small

My little baby is turning into a little boy and I seem to be left wondering where the time has gone!  It was only 12 months ago that he was lying there helpless as a tiny newborn baby with his little scratch mitts on and that scrunched up face.  Now he is constantly on the move - crawling, rolling and cruising and outgrowing his clothes at an astonishing rate!

The smaller sleepsuit is the one he wore home from hospital, borrowed from his special keepsake box.  He may only have worn newborn clothes for a matter of days but once upon a time he fitted in them!  The second sleepsuit is size 18-24 months - the size he wears now!  He has not stopped growing and it is crazy to see quite how much has changed in one year!

When I see him sleeping peacefully in the cot I can still see that newborn baby.  His face has gained so much personality and his cheeky smile is contagious but when he sleeps he looks so innocent still.

I watch Dylan cruise around, pressing buttons, playing with toys, eating his dinner with his fingers and making sure he picks up every single crumb and it seems crazy to think that he was once so fragile, waking only for milk and then back to a sweet slumber again!

This first year has been magical and I can't believe how much my little boy has changed!  He is no longer a baby but a little person, imitating our actions, trying to copy our words and learning his own independence.  They really do grow up too fast!  He may be a big brother before we know it but he will always be my baby

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Silent Sunday - 12.08.12

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