Wednesday, 19 December 2012

The Second Baby

With a second baby due in only two months, I have been thinking a lot about what I will do differently.  I feel like I was thrown head first into motherhood the first time, with no clue what I was doing or how to look after this tiny helpless little newborn.  The love was instinctual and I knew I would do anything to protect this baby of mine, but I didn't always know how.

Breastfeeding seemed to come naturally, and I made decisions based on what I thought was right, what I read and what I felt my son wanted.  I am far from knowing what I am doing even now but I do have a gorgeous, clever, friendly and generally well behaved toddler so I would like to think at least some of that is due to me getting something right as he has grown up. 

With Squish, I have been wondering what I will do differently,

Whether I will feed him for longer, or not so long?

Will I will be stricter about him being in bed with me in the early days, or will I will be more relaxed?

Will I dress this baby differently?  Treat him differently as he is my second child?  Wean him earlier?  Spend less money on him?

Will I be the same parent to both my children?

two day old baby boy, newborn baby, first child

In all honesty, only time will tell how things go once I have my two little boys around, but I do know that I want to bring Squish up in as similar a way as possible to Dylan.  I know that I want to breastfeed for around 9 months, just like I did his brother.  I know that should he want to sleep on me in the early days then so be it.  I will need my sleep more than ever and babies need the security.  There will come a point, much like with Dylan where Squish wants his own space and he will go into his own bed.  I will worry less about it because I know now that it was the right thing for us the first time around.

I know that this baby will have a lot of hand me downs, but also his own clothes and his own personality.  No two children are the same, and I am not expecting another little Dylan.  I want to look after this individual and do what is right for him, at the right times and in the right way, ignoring what I did with Dylan.  Obviously previous experience plays a huge role, but so does following the signs and I hope I can do this with little Squish.

I know that things will not be the same.  I will not have the time to stop and stare at this beautiful little life as much as I did the first time around.  I will not be able to tailor my days around this second baby as the first has his needs still, but hopefully having a brother, a playmate and another person to love will make up for this for both of my boys.

I know I will love this child just as much as I love Dylan, and I know I will do whatever I can to make sure he is happy and healthy.  I can only hope that I make the right decisions along the way.


Did you do things differently with a second child or do you think you will?  

11 comments:

  1. I've recently had my second child and it's amazing how much easier things are this time. I am so much more relaxed and things are just coming so much more naturally. I am doing things the same as first time around, however, Little Miss A is a much better sleeper and sleeps really well in her crib which Little Mr A never did! I kind of miss not having a baby in the bed to cuddle but know it's for the best in the long run! Good luck with no. 2 x

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    1. It does sound like the second baby is generally more chilled out and I wouldn't turn down a better sleeper although Dylan has it nailed now! x

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  2. You can't help but treat your second child differently because they are a totally different person. I knew my little Splodge would be different to the little man, but until she arrived I had no idea quite how different. She likes things differently, does things differently, has a completely different personality. Add to that the fact that the household dynamic is different this time with another child running around, and it's a recipe for feeling like a first time mum all over again.
    The best thing about number two though is that you are far more inclined to trust your instincts and go with your gut. I definitely haven't second guessed myself as much this time around, so confidence and experience do make a difference to how you parent. It's all a big new exciting adventure anyway!! X

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    1. I have read about how different your two are, and although I say I am not expecting another Dylan, I guess I am to some extent as I can't imagine having a child so different! I am looking forward to learning about a whole new person though and hopefully I will trust myself more this time too.
      Thanks for your comments
      xx

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  3. I am really interested in this as because like you I am having another one of the same sex, it will be interesting how they are different from each other. I know I would like to breastfeed and I will be upset with myself if for any reason I can't because I managed it with Mads through months of hell for 11 months in the end. I know that she will get a lot of hand me downs, and I know that even though we don't want too, there will be a part of me that will occasionally compare them. Not in a bad way, but inevitable things like 'oh mads was sleeping through the night at this age.'
    Other than that I will wing it just like I did with Mads- although I do want to try and get this baby into more of a routine at night than Mad- she slept downstairs with us until we went to bed until she was about 8 weeks! Although it didn't do her any harm- as you know she just loves her sleep now! x

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    1. We had Dylan downstairs until we went to bed for a few weeks too and I imagine I will do the same this time as it will be the main time I have with the new baby without Dylan around. I guess it all depends on how this little one wants to sleep though! I look forward to see you going through this at the same time I do though x

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  5. Only two months left?! Woah that's flown by FAST!

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    1. Tell me about it! Scary times. x

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  6. I was pretty relaxed with my first-born. However, there wasn't nearly as much information available to me as there is now, and there's a lot I wish I knew or knew to ask. I hope to breastfeed my next child, and try to take a million more photos than I was able to with my first-born. I wish you the best of luck with Squish!

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  7. I definitely have a few things that I think I will do differently this time, although they are mainly just to do with being a bit more relaxed and not worrying so much! I really hope breastfeeding goes as well this time as I definitely want to breastfeed again. I hope that this baby will be a better sleeper but I am also prepared for things being exactly the same! I have definitely noticed that second babies just don't get the hours of attention that first borns do but I guess they get the bonus of a little friend to play with instead! xx

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