Before You Turn Six

Tonight you have been practising your six year old cuddles.  You have told me that they start becoming 1% less good from every year now, that you peaked at age 5 but I still think they will be the best cuddles ever because most people that know you agree that cuddling is one of your special skills. Tonight I put you to bed as a five year old for the very last time as tomorrow you will wake up six.

This time six years ago, I had no idea you would be arriving soon.  I was convinced I would go overdue and had no signs that you were ready.  You were born at 7:30 am the next morning and you were so laid back and easy going from the very beginning.  We were home in time for lunch and you settled on my chest and stayed there for many months.  Now you are growing up so quickly, finding your own friends and hobbies and developing strong opinions on the things that matter - like what colour shoes you need.  You are not afraid to make a choice that is a bit different and you are, as I write every year, unapologetically yourself.

Five was the year you declared that gold was your favourite colour (followed of course by pink), it was the year you discovered Minecraft and it took over your every thought.  It was a year of fun and friendships and you have such a wonderful group.  You were five when you started in year one, and even though the changes had been gradual, I couldn't work out how you managed to look so big next to the little children who started in reception.  There seemed like far more than a few months between you and them.  I saw your height, your confidence, your speed and your maturity properly.

Archie, my baby boy who isn't really a baby, I can't wait to see how much fun you can have as a six year old.  I hate the idea of you growing up too fast as you are at such a wonderful age right now, but I feel so privileged to watch you becoming yourself.  

I have been re-reading the 'before you turn' letters that I write to you every year and so much is still the same.  You are still so caring, looking out for other people and making sure everyone is ok. You still are happiest naked, you burst into song at the most random moments and you come out with some fantastic comments.  You love company and would have a friend round every day after school if we let you.  You don't like being in a room by yourself and always seek out someone to be with you.  You are funny, smart and bright eyed and we all love you so much

Before you turn six, as I kiss you for the last time as a five year old, I just want you to know how truly loved you are.

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Before you turn Three

It is crazy how much can change in such a short time and it is the time of year again that I read through old posts and wonder at quite how we have gotten to this place.  It was three years ago I went to bed clueless that you were on your way.  It was two years ago that I wrote you this and exactly 365 days ago since I kissed you as a one year old for the last time.  

Tomorrow you will wake up and be three and I can't quite believe it.  This year has been crazy, full and sweet.  Your little brother arrived soon after your birthday and the weeks that followed were stressful, fraught and I wasn't as present as you needed me to be.  He finally came home and we all had to adjust to a new way of life.  You became a big brother, and you are a great one.  This year you have changed from a toddler to a little boy.  I still cling on to the toddler label but really I see a small person in front of me with his own clear ideas, a wonderful way of communicating and a confidence that rarely wavers.

Your short sentences have become paragraphs and your ability to express yourself has grown exponentially.  You are articulate, capable and always have something to say.  You are the most loving child, you can't get enough cuddles and sometimes it feels like you are trying to get inside my skin.  You crave closeness and touch, you want to love with your whole body and I find your arms wrapped around my neck, your legs around my waist and your head buried in my neck several times a day.  

You want to experience everything with the whole of you still, something I saw in you early on that hasn't changed.  A puddle can't just be jumped in, you need to see how the water reacts to your fingers too.  You want to walk along every raised surface, touch every leaf and stop to listen to every sound.  You are physical in ways your brother isn't and I was amazed to watch you skiing last month on our holiday in France.  Not many two year olds can cope with lessons out on the snow, but you weren't going to let that stand in your way.

You are my wild one in so many ways, your hair being the first that people notice.  You don't want it cut and I gave up trying to persuade you.  People often think you are a girl, your blond locks have a life of their own, but we both know it doesn't really matter.  One day you will want it all cut off and that is fine, but for now you look perfect, wild hair and everything.

As you turn three I know our days together are numbered.  School is still a long way off, but preschool isn't and you are signed up to start in April.  Your one day of nursery at the moment is wonderful but I can see you need more and I know you will love the new routine.  I am dreading losing a piece of you though, not knowing so many things about your day and not spending every day with you.  I know it is a part of you growing up, but when you cuddle in to me or ask for magic kisses I remember how little you still are.

You are still little in some ways.  We haven't started potty training yet and you are still in your cot.  I think it is a second baby thing, wanting to keep you smaller for longer.  It doesn't mean you can't climb in and out of your cot quite skillfully, but I climb in every night to give you 'squeezy cuddles' and you are my baby.  

Everything changed the day you entered my world.  I became a different person because of you and you are still teaching me every single day.  You encourage me to be silly and take chances, to stop and watch the squirrels climbing the trees or admire the flowers.  You remind that we all have amazing imaginations even if as adults we don't use them often enough.

As you turn three my baby boy, please stay that, my baby.  You already seem so old sometimes as you constantly check on me, asking me if I am ok, am I happy, is the baby warm enough in there, do I need a cuddle.  Stay true to yourself Archie, as you are quite frankly a wonderful person to be.

Before you turn three, as I kiss you goodnight for the last time as my two year old, I just want you to know how truly loved you are

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Before You Turn One

One year and nine and a half months ago, on a cold, wet Sunday afternoon, the bloke and I sat in KFC, a sleeping eight month old beside us in the pushchair and made the decision that we had the space in our hearts and lives to welcome another little baby.  We decided that Dylan would make a wonderful big brother, and we dreamed up a little brother or sister for him.

One year and seven months ago, after a play-date with a friend which left me so tired, I had to ask my mum to look after Dylan whilst I had an afternoon nap.  Later that evening, after a knowing look from her, I took a test and discovered there was a little person growing inside of me, a little squish.

One year and six months ago, the bloke and I nervously sat in the hospital waiting room, whilst Dylan and my mum enjoyed a slice of cake together in the cafe.  We were taken into a dark room, and it was seconds before we saw a beautiful little heartbeat flickering away on the screen - we saw you for the first time.

One year and five and a half months ago, it felt like there was a little butterfly trapped inside my tummy, I felt flutterings, that made me feel so nervous and so excited at the same time.  I lay down with my eyes closed, tuning into your movements, wondering what you would look like, whether you were a little boy like I thought.

One year ago today, I worked my last shift at work before embarking on maternity leave.  It was a long day but my body was coping well and I had no signs that your arrival was imminent.  I waitressed all day and then walked three miles home, enjoying the beautiful sunset and the crisp winter evening.

One year ago tomorrow, I held you for the first time, my tiny newborn baby, my little squish.  I delivered you in a perfect water birth, saw your beautiful big blue eyes, your tiny curled up fists and fell even more in love with you than I already was

51 weeks ago, you finally found your name, and we agreed that you were our little Archie.

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Before you turn Four

At three you can still be considered a toddler, but Archie, when you wake up you will be four and I will have to admit that that phase of your life has passed.  The countdown to school has began and you are ready for it in so many ways.  Really, you stopped being a toddler quite a while ago but behind the excitement of each new stage, I am reluctant to let go of the last one.

Three was the year we cut off your beautiful hair and I cried real tears in the middle of the hairdressers.  I have found peace with your new style and it suits you.  You are never mistaken for a girl anymore, it doesn't get in your face as you run and hair washes are so much easier.  It was the right choice (I will begrudgingly admit) but I did love your long blonde locks.

Every year you change so much and I can see quite how much you have grown since I wrote to you one year ago.  You are still exactly the same though, unapologetically you, determined, loyal, loving and wild.  I wrote as you turned two about how you were happier with your brother around and that is still true - you fit in perfectly in our big family, a playful little brother and a loving big one.  You and Dylan are the best of friends (although you fight like only brothers can), you and Finn are becoming real playmates now and you are so caring with Cora.  I look at the photos from the day before you turned one and I still recognise those expressions, that you.

You are happiest naked and have refused to wear any form of pyjamas or clothes around the house for a while now.  You have no problem snuggling under a blanket with me though, warming your icy feet on my skin and cuddling in close.  You still love to cuddle and I have to admit you give the best cuddles.  You can cheer me up in seconds with you arms around my neck and I dread the day you stop wanting to be so close. 

Your imagination has really developed this year, you talk absolute nonsense sometimes and you and Dylan are often in your own world together.  I love listening at your door after I put you to bed as you stay up and chat and watching you playing with your Lego, singing made up songs as you do.  This imagination did lead to the 'Mystery bandit' in our house who was responsible for all kinds of mischief and was never seen at the same time as you.  He has thankfully gone now although things are still blamed on him (by all members of the family).

As a three year old you became a big brother (again) and took it all in your stride as you always do.  You are wonderful with Cora and she is a lucky little girl to have you as a big brother.

At three you were bright, sociable, loving, energetic and bold.  You have learned to concentrate on things a little better, sit still a little longer, climb a little higher and communicate a little clearer.  I can't wait to see what adventures four has in stock for you.

Before you turn four, as I kiss you goodnight for the last time as my three year old, I just want you to know how truly loved you are

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Before You Turn Eight

It is a birthday unlike any other this year, something I have been trying to prepare you for, but when I confirmed that your birthday would definitely be spent in lockdown, I saw your face drop.  You have been so brave this past year, you have put up with so much, lost out on so many things and you were clinging on to this looming birthday.  I hope more than anything that I can bring some magic to you tomorrow despite everything.

As a seven year old you entered life in a pandemic and lost out on the ability to see your friends, go to school and live the life you had been, but still I have watched you grow and mature and change.  You lost a front tooth and it immediately changed how you look.  The new one is growing in so much bigger, giving me a tiny glimpse of the man you will one day be, with a smile so big that the tooth fits in perfectly.  Your hair is getting longer and out of control but you are still holding out for the day the barbers open again and not risking a Daddy haircut! You are growing taller so quickly and whilst next to your biggest brother you look quite small, you are actually not small at all.  

You still love computer games, the colour black, wearing blankets instead of clothes and cuddles, and after hating books and reading for so long, you now love being read to.  I had stopped at one point as you protested constantly but now you ask for extra chapters every night and I hope some time soon you will start wanting to read more of these stories yourself.  

I see how this pandemic has affected relationships and I see how much you miss your friendships but I want you to know that even if you don't get to see all the people you want to, you are loved by so many.  I have planned some 'online play dates' for you tomorrow so you can game with your friends and I am hoping that schools can reopen in three weeks and you can see them in person too.  Birthday parties are such an integral part of childhood and it breaks my heart to know how much you wanted one this year.  I offered you a summer birthday party if we are allowed and you have already made the guestlist. In the meantime we will throw a party just us, with the siblings who have had to become your best friends over the past year and I have a few sweet surprises too. You have asked for cinnamon bagels instead of a birthday cake and you don't really like chocolate but you can't get enough of sweeties!

There are so many things I want to remember about you at seven.  How kind you are, how you care so deeply about those you love.  The way you can't sit still, the way you cuddle in close, arms around me.  The way you don't want a bath until you get in, and then you would spend all day in there if I didn't make you get out.  The way you can always tell me what you don't like easier than what you do like, the silent way you appreciate things and the joy when you really process them later on.  You are funny and sweet and I couldn't love you more.

Before you turn eight, as I kiss you for the last time as a seven year old, I want you to know how truly loved you are.

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Before You Turn Seven

It gets me every year when I check out Timehop and see that on this day I was working my last shift before maternity leave, that seven years ago I was a mother of one.  I had no idea what was in store for me when you arrived the very next day and you still take me by surprise all the time.  As I put you to bed for the last time as a six year old, the excitement for the morning already evident in your face, I can't help but look back on the year that we have had.

Six was the year that you finally got the hang of reading.  I knew it would come but you took your time, having little interest in letters and books, but then it arrived out of the blue, that recognition that you could understand those letters and you started zooming through the book bands at school and getting so much more confident with it every day.  Sometimes I think you would have been so much more suited to the later starting schools in other countries.  

Six was the year you changed your mind and rather than wanting pink, gold and every other colour, you just wanted black.  You have asked me to only buy you black clothes from now on and whilst part of me is a little sad about that, I love that when you make your mind up about these things you are so certain.

Six was the year you grew taller every day, or so it feels, your limbs lengthened and you look so much ganglier than the little children at your school.  You are in your final year now, one of the oldest ones in the school and I can see that.  You lost your first two teeth and your face has already started changing because of it.  

You still sing all the time, mostly George Ezra - Shotgun and you burst into song when I least expect it.  Sometimes it is a normal voice but other times you sing something very normal in a screamy-death-metal kind of voice and it scares me just a little! You are still very into how things feel and you went as far as taking your own pillowcase on holiday in case theirs wasn't soft enough.  You always have blankets attached to you or around you and everything has to feel right before it gets your approval.

I can see how much you have grown up in the last year and you make me proud every day (as well as driving me crazy most of them too!).  You are determined, loyal, loving and wild and so unapologetically yourself.  You still love cuddles and I am dreading the day that stops.  You would live with a gaming controller in your hand at all times if you had your way but once we get you away from a screen you always throw yourself into life fully.

I can't wait to see seven year old Archie in the morning and I am sure it is going to be an exciting year for you as you leave your infant school in the summer and head to a new junior school in September.  

Before you turn seven, as I kiss you for the last time as a six year old, I want you to know how truly loved you are.

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Before You Turn Two

As I kissed your head tonight, I thought back to two years ago - a situation I am finding rather familiar as I carry a large bump in front of me, and I remember the excitement, the anticipation, the wonder as you came into the world.  This time two years ago I was clueless that I was soon to meet the boy who would make me the mother I am today, but by the time you wake up tomorrow, it will be two whole years since the first time I held you in my arms and told you I loved you.

This year has seen you change from a baby to a toddler - from a crawling babbling little person into one who walks, runs, jumps and talks.  Every week at the moment we see changes in you as you learn more words and string them together in more complex ways.  Last week we realised that you really did know all your colours now after months of declaring everything to be either yellow or blue.  You have never had a problem communicating what you want, but you are growing up to be polite and confident as you step on to every bus with a 'ticket please lady' (even if the driver is most definitely a man).

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Before You Turn Nine

I feel like turning Nine has crept up on us, probably because of the strange year we have had.  I just re-read the post I wrote this time last year and I am so grateful that things have changed in the past year.  Whilst we are still in a pandemic, the world has opened back up and you have reclaimed your childhood from it.  Unlike last year where we weren't allowed to see anyone outside our house, we have spent today trampolining and eating out with a big group of friends and you have a party planned with both your friends and with your family.

As an eight year old you have been certain, loving, outraged at every injustice done to you, full of love and quietly contemplative.  You became a big brother again and you refused to look at his photo when he was born, wanting to wait instead to see him in real life.  You adore your brother, you are wonderful with him and I am eternally proud of how you handle it all. I love watching you interact with him, desperate to teach him, trying to copy the way I talk to him.  You are the easiest child in some ways, not desperate to be the centre of attention, not as talkative as the others, not as big or bold or needy and I hope you never feel like you get less attention because of this because my love for you could not be bigger or bolder or louder.

As an eight year old you still love black, blankets, computer games and cuddles but you have recently started loving books more too (as long as you have someone to read to) and your favourite place ever is the arcades. You don't always want to talk, but you love company and you are still quicker to tell me what you don't like instead of what you do.  

I want to remember how kind and loyal you are, how deeply you love, how you are so big and so small all at the same time,  the way you talk, those features that are starting to change and give me an idea of how you will look as a teenager.  I want to remember eight year old Archie before you change again.  

Before you turn nine, as I kiss you for the last time as an eight year old, I want you to know how truly loved you are.

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Before You Turn Five

You have reminded me all day that you won't be any different tomorrow, just a bit bigger but tomorrow you turn 5 and today as we ventured into London I was reminded of the little changes that will bring.  It was the last day you will travel for free on public transport because tomorrow you will be counted as a child rather than an infant.  As with everything, you are taking it all in your stride though and you told me 'kid tickets are only a pound Mummy, don't worry'.

Four was the year you started school and you have grown and thrived.  You settled in so easily, making friends, learning lots and finding your place.  You are neither desperate to go or reluctant, you have just accepted school and you enjoy it.  Four was the year you got glasses and you accepted them easily too, after picking just the right pair (and dismissing the other 100 as 'not cool enough').  They have Avengers on the side and we now have three pairs the same dotted around the house.

I have been reading the letter I wrote to you this time last year and it still describes you completely.  You are still exactly the same, unapologetically you, determined, loyal, loving and wild.  You are happiest with company and you and Dylan are definitely a pair, playing so amazingly together, sharing imaginations and scrapping constantly of course too.  You still adore your baby sister and you play with Finn as a last resort, but when you do give in, you play so lovely together.

You make us laugh every day,  you burst into song when we least expect it and you are still naked at any possible opportunity.  You love Pokemon, scooting, cheesestrings and family and we all love you. 

Never stop being you.

Before you turn five, as I kiss you for the last time as a four year old, I just want you to know how truly loved you are.

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Before You Turn Ten

Ten sounds so much bigger than nine, but then you are so much bigger.  You are growing up and it is only in looking back that I realise how far you have come.  In little ways you are becoming more independent and getting new freedoms and I feel immense pride watching you grow. 

You are an introvert, hard to get to know (a battle I think we will have with each new teacher) but wonderful when you do.  With those that know you, you are playful and loving, loyal and kind.  You come alive when you are skiing, you are bold and confident and so full of joy that I want to move to the mountains with you. When you are passionate about something it radiates from you and is impossible to ignore.

You don't want to cuddle as much now you are growing up.  You are comfortable setting boundaries and you are confident in your own beliefs.  You are still happiest snuggled up in a blanket with a gaming device in your hand.  You feel injustice strongly and are certain that you will make good decisions as you hit the teenage years - let's see if that happens! 

In some ways you are still the easiest child - not old enough to be asserting too much independence and not young enough to need too much help but I don't want you to ever feel lost in the middle.  Being part of a bigger family has its pros and cons and I hope you always feel special and unique.  You still absolutely adore your baby brother (even if you could take or leave the rest of the gang) and you love teaching him new skills and celebrating his milestones.  You are so protective of him - something I should have expected as you have always been kind and loyal.  

I like to re read all your birthday posts on the night before and see how much you have changed but also how much you have stayed the same, completely true to who you are. You are an amazing person and I am so lucky to be your Mum.

Before you turn ten, as I kiss you for the last time as a nine year old, I want you to know how truly loved you are.

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The night before One.

Baby girl, tonight you fell asleep in my arms, the same way you have every night, for 364 nights.  Your eyes closed slowly and your face looked calm and content as you lay snuggled up on me drinking your milk.  It is these moments when you seem most like that new baby still, so small, so dependent on me.

Tomorrow is your first birthday, at 12:31pm, just as we will probably be eating our lunch, you will be turning one.  It doesn't seem possible that a whole year has passed, I still remember parts of your birth so vivdly - walking up and down the stairs, bouncing on the ball, chatting to the midwife as I paced up and down the living room.  I remember the fear, the strength and the love that came immediately.  I remember snuggling up on the sofa as the midwives packed away, studying your tiny features and wondering how I was going to cope as a girl-mum after 4 years of raising boys.

And now we are here, on the night before you turn one and you are asleep right in the middle of my bed.  It turns out parenting a girl, or parenting this girl is a bit different.  You know where you want to be, and that is right next to me.  You want to be carried in my arms or in the sling, you want to sit on my lap as you play, hold my hands as you walk and sleep curled up in my arms where you feel safe.  You are the only baby of mine to still be in my bed at a year and whilst I miss the space and the sleep, I love falling asleep with your head on my arm and waking up to your smile.  

You are determined in a way that your brothers weren't and you are the first one to take steps before your first birthday.  You have eight teeth (far more than the others did at this young age) and you still rely heavily on breastmilk, although you are definitely getting the hang of food a little more now.  You have the cheekiest smile and you adore your brothers.  You are so loved.

We don't have much planned for your actual birthday, but we have already thrown a big party for you yesterday and I think you enjoyed being surrounded by your family and friends.  Tomorrow is just us, you have a couple of gifts to open and I am sure we will have some more cake (as it is all but compulsory on birthdays).  I can't believe that we are here already, so close to one, but we are.  

This first year has been perfect.  I have loved getting to know you, learning how to parent you, watching you interact with your brothers and discover the world.  I know the next year will be full of new milestones, that you will change so much again, so I just want to pause time, just for a little bit.  I just want to remember you now, as you are, spread out like a starfish in the middle of the bed, your chunky thighs on show as the evening is warm.  I want to stop just now, whilst you are still the perfect size to fall asleep in my arms, whilst you still need my hand to walk more than a couple of steps, whilst you still hold your arms up to me for a cuddle.  Let us stop, just to make sure this moment is etched as a memory forever, for you will never be this small again.

And now we must start the time again, for your brothers are impatient to help you with the present opening, because you can't stay small forever, there are too many mountains to climb and milestones to conquer.  

Baby girl, you are more loved than you will ever know.  

xx

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One in The Morning

It feels like you have only just arrived, I still think of you as a little baby in most ways, but life without you seems so distant a memory too.  You are the baby we didn't know we needed to complete our family and tomorrow my tiny boy, you turn one.

You may have no idea what a birthday is but your siblings definitely do.  Cora told everyone we saw in the supermarket today when we were out buying party food that it was your birthday tomorrow.  The boys ask about what you want, who your friends are and whether you will be allowed some cake and every one is is getting excited whilst you remain oblivious.  Being the youngest of five means there are a lot of people delighted about your milestones.

A year ago I had no idea you were about to arrive, I thought I had a few more days still. You were born on Saturday evening after a very quick labour and you were just perfect.  7lb 13oz of healthy baby boy, you looked like all your siblings and completely unique at the same time.  You were alert, you took me in as I memorised every part of you and I remembered how quickly a heart can grow.

This year you have changed from that tiny baby who just needed to be held to a much bigger baby who still needs to be held.  You feel safest in my arms and we still haven't spent more than about 3 hours apart.  You still rely heavily on breastmilk and you have no intention of sleeping anywhere other than in my bed for the foreseeable future. You are a complete Mummy's boy, although your love for music means Daddy is becoming much more interesting.  You press all the buttons on the speakers to let us know you want a tune and then bounce up and down dancing in delight when we turn something on.  You are inquisitive, cheeky and determined. 

I thought you would be early to walk as you were crawling and cruising by 9 months old but you have no interest in taking unaided steps yet.  You are much more interested in crawling up the stairs as fast as you can, giggling all the way and making sure someone is chasing you up.  You say Dadada and Mamama and something that sounds a lot like no.  You love music with your Daddy but with me you love books (two very happy parents if this continues).  You have 8 teeth and the dribbling is starting back up again so I am sure there are more to come.

As your birthday falls on a weekend, we are having a party on the day.  After your siblings have helped you explore your birthday gifts, we will head to the same hall where Archie and Finn had their first birthday and we will share cake with the people that love you.  I can't wait to celebrate what a little boy you are becoming, but before that moment I need to stop and take in everything you are now. The tiny boy curled up beside me as I write this is only going to get bigger, smarter and more independent and whilst the days might seem long at times, I know how lucky I am to get to spend them with you in my arms.  On your last night as an 11 month old, I want to give you an extra cuddle, a bonus kiss and let you know how loved you are.

Tomorrow my tiny boy, you will be one! 

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Nun Night Three Year Old

Four years ago to this day I was playing Bingo.  I was having what I now know are contractions every few minutes, but at the time I was convinced that they were just Braxton Hicks.  Four years ago I was on the verge of becoming a mama and I had no idea what I was in for.  I couldn't foresee this little boy that stands before me now, so very nearly four, so ready for something big, yet so young still in so many ways.

This last year has been busy, we have had so many adventures, you have welcomed another little brother into your life and you have done it beautifully, despite the fact nothing really went to plan. Every day we have played, explored, socialised, learned and loved.  This has been the year that you learned to read, to add, to subtract, to ask such intricate questions, to climb, to run with a football, to open a ringpull, to dress yourself, to play memory and to work a tablet.  

You are about to turn four which means school is on the horizon and in so many ways you are oh so ready.  You cannot wait to dress in your smart blue uniform and head off into your purple classroom.  You want to make new friends, play with their toys and discover more about yourself and the world.  You are starting to ask questions that I struggle to answer, and I hope school will encourage your curiosity even further.  We have been discussing electricity a lot recently, you are so fascinated by it all and how things are made is another great topic.  My to do list for the week includes things like googling the inside of a telegraph pole, finding out the temperature that fossil fuels are burned at and coming up with the best answer for how rocks got onto the earth.  You challenge me every day, and I love being on this journey of learning with you.

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Two in The Morning

Somehow a whole year has passed since I wrote a birthday letter to you on the eve of your first birthday, and tonight I am preparing to wake up and celebrate you turning two.  It seems like no time has passed since last November, but when I look at the pictures I took of you then I see how much you have grown in this last year.

As a one year old you were funny, cheeky, cuddly and determined.  As you approached two you started practicing your tantrums and you know exactly what you do and don't want.  Your language is coming along so much now but I see the frustration in you when we don't understand the word you are saying yet.  All the important ones (chocolate, biscuit, ice cream, chips) are pretty clear, but there is so much you want to communicate that we still haven't mastered and I am looking forward to you being able to express yourself more so we can get to know more about the little boy you are turning in to.

You sleep in your own cot now for at least the first half of the night.  You are absolutely a Mummy's boy still and feel safest with me, but you go to nursery in the mornings and you are settling well.  So much has changed for you this year and you now live in a new house, in a new country without your familiar family and friends, but you have coped so well with the move and you are settling into this new life.  

As you turn two you can walk, run and climb.  You can sing the alphabet song (with some missing letters) and you are forever asking for another book.  I packed a selection to bring out here, but I am regretting not bringing more as I am bored of all the books we have now!  You love being outside, watching Cocomelon (especially the wheels on the bus song), cooking in your toy kitchen and anything to do with a football.  You could spend all day watching the traffic and pointing out every bus, lorry and bike and you get very excited by animals of all kinds.  You are the final piece of our family that we didn't know we needed and you are so loved by all your siblings.

It feels like you are so new still, and like you have always been here.  Sometimes I am excited for you to reach the next stages and other times I miss the baby days but most of the time I try and appreciate where we are now, because you are changing every day, turning from a baby into a toddler and I know it won't be long until you stop saying 'nimp' when you want a drink and those other funny words we love.  

You have nursery in the morning and the others leave so early for the school bus, but we are going to celebrate in the afternoon with a trip to your favourite park and a cake and presents at home in the evening.  Before the fun begins, I need to go and stroke your cheek as you sleep and kiss your head for the last time as a one year old, for when you wake you will be two.

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Nun Night Nine Year Old

A whole decade of you sounds crazy, I was discussing the night before your birth, how completely unaware we were that it was the last time we would go out without a second thought, and it seems like no time has passed in a way, but also like looking back at two strangers, because ten years of parenting you has changed us beyond recognition.

Nine has been full of growth, mental and physical.  I see more and more of the tween you are becoming and less of the child that you were, but you can still surprise me and I know that you are still young compared to many of your peers.  You want to reach the next stage, but you are not yet ready to give up on the last one, and I don't want you to rush.

Nine has been a whole year spent in a global pandemic, a year of not being able to see your friends as much, of missing large chunks of school, of being understanding when we can't always do the things we are used to, but you have gone through it looking for the good and enjoying what you can.  Your end of year school report is a testament to your intelligence and resilience and I couldn't be prouder of the nine year old that you were.  

This was the year we started experimenting with independence and you are the one who has to push for more, because we know your younger siblings will have an easier journey.  You started walking home from school at the end of the year with friends and you have asked to walk there and back in September for year 6.  You asked for a phone for your birthday and I have been so apprehensive as it seems so young, but I know it will give me peace of mind when you are out without me, knowing you can contact me easily.  It is hard watching you grow up and need me less, but it gives me confidence that I have done something right too, if I can trust you to take the next steps without me.  There will be lots of rules, parental controls and limits on the technology, much like the past ten years, it will be a learning curve for both of us, but I am hopeful that we can navigate this together.

As you turn 10, you measure just over five feet tall, with size 5 feet and I know it won't be long until you are bigger than me.  you have always been tall for your age, ever since you arrived two weeks early and weighing nearly 9lb and I think you are going to be a very tall man! You are still naturally cautious though, choosing to avoid the rollercoasters or bigger rides when we were out for your birthday party day at Legoland today, preferring the more gentle experiences instead.

This next year will see you sit the 11+ at school and choose a secondary school.  I am sure you will ask for more freedoms, and with a new baby coming this year, I think you will be encouraged to learn some independent skills too. Nine was full of fun but I think ten is going to be an exciting new adventure for you, I can't wait to be part of it.

Sleep tight my gorgeous nine year old, for tomorrow is a big day.

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5 Simple Ways to Make Your Child's Birthday Extra Special

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This year has been hard on everyone in different ways. Maybe you’ve had to directly deal with the effects of COVID-19. Maybe you’ve experienced a change in your career. Or, maybe you’ve had to adjust to having your kids home and not in school. 

Whatever the case, we could all use a bit more comfort and excitement, all at once. 

Even if you’re still staying home in light of the pandemic, one of the best things you can do to bring a bit more joy to your family’s life is to make birthdays extra special this year, something I am having to think about now with Archie and Finn both celebrating next month.

On average, parents spend anywhere from £50-£100 on their children for their birthdays, but you don’t have to spend a lot of money in order to do a few little extras. 

Thinking outside the box and coming up with ways to make your child’s big day more memorable could spark lasting traditions. So, how can you make your little one’s birthday better than ever this year? 

1. Eat With a Birthday Plate

Everything about the day should be individualized for your child. Give them a special birthday plate to eat their meals from. You can even decorate a chair at the dining room table for them to eat at for the day, almost like a “throne”, so they can be a prince or princess on their big day. 

2. Surprise Them With Flowers

Adults aren’t the only ones who like to receive flowers. Whether your child is at home or in school, surprise them at some point during the day with happy birthday flowers. Choose arrangements filled with different colors and varieties to really get your child excited. It’s a small gesture, but it can make a big impact on their day. 

3. Fill Their Room With Balloons

The birthday fun doesn’t have to stop when your child gets home from school, or even before they go to bed at night. Take the time to fill their room with balloons and other decorations as a mini-surprise. While they might not get to have a full party this year with friends and family, you can turn their favorite space in the house into party central!

4. Draw a Birthday Bath

Getting your child ready for bed? The birthday fun doesn’t have to stop yet. Let them have a “birthday bath” with lots of bubbles and toys. You could even put in safe colour-changing tablets to turn the water their favourite colour, or use tile-safe crayons to let them draw their favourite pictures on the shower wall. 

5. One Last Gift

As you’re getting your birthday boy or girl ready to go to sleep, surprise them with one last, small gift - a new book! You can choose a book that specifically talks about birthdays, or just one you think they will enjoy. Let them open it, and then curl up with them to read it before they go to bed. It’s a fantastic way to add one final touch to a birthday they’ll never forget. 

As you can see, none of these ideas are expensive or extravagant. But, in their simplicity, your child will feel extremely special, and love every second of their big day.

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Review and Giveaway - Zippy Suit CLOSED

Own up, how many times have you got your child all ready for bed only to realise that you did the poppers on his sleepsuit up all wrong?  How many of you have a child that will not just LIE STILL when you are trying to get them changed?   There always seems to be something much more fun to play with somewhere else,  I am dreading the crawling stage as there is only so far the baby can roll at the moment.

Trying to change a baby on a train

I am certainly not alone in these frustrations, and a mum in Cheshire developed the Zippy Suit to make life easier for parents like me.  Their single zip fastening replaces rows of poppers, meaning the Zippy Suit can be done up in no time, making life easier for those of us with wriggly rascals.

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Looking after the Environment as a Family

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In recent years, it has been difficult to go too far without hearing how our modern lifestyle is having negative effects on the world we live in. 

Not to mention how the choices that we, and generations before, will impact the future generations ahead of us. 

Another concerning factor is that with the outbreak of COVID-19, many of the efforts being made to help alleviate some of these issues are gradually being undone. The need to disinfect everything around us with wipes, wearing single use masks and maybe even disposable gloves to do the grocery shopping--all of which are adding to the problem of generating an awful lot of litter that goes to landfill or interferes with animals in their natural habitats. 

As parents, it is our responsibility to instil values in our children, such as being kind and considerate to others--and that expands to how they treat the world around them. From making some investments that will make a huge difference to what we end up throwing away to being conscious about the amount of water you use-here are some of the small things that you and your family can do to make a difference to the world we live in. 

Pack Your Bags 

Yes- since the supermarkets brought in the charge for single use grocery bags, we all swore that we’d use and reuse them again. We have been great at this but there have been a couple of times I have completely forgotten to pack enough!

When you realise that single use grocery bags often end up getting thrown out and end up in landfill, you might think twice to try to remember them. 

If not correctly disposed of,  these bags can harm animals who mistake them for food. These types of bags often take a long time to decompose, too.

Reusable bags are useful for other things as well as carrying the food shop in- such as carrying books or delivering food. Buy some reusable bags to keep in the back of your car or in your bag to tide you over in case you end up in an unexpected grocery shop-- because that happens sometimes. 

This one task will prevent tons of plastic causing unnecessary environmental damage. 

Go Cruelty Free

It’s worth remembering that some cosmetics are damaging to the environment due to their extensive animal testing. Thankfully, there are a huge amount of beauty products on the market that are labelled vegan, which not only means that they’re not tested on animals, but that they contain no nasty ingredients that come from animals. 

Plant based products are more natural and compatible with the skin, which is beneficial to most people, especially those who suffer with sensitive skin. Naturally derived ingredients are less likely to cause allergic reactions than those which are pumped full of factory made chemicals.  

It’s worth looking into how much plastic is produced for our products, too. While it is almost impossible to be able to eliminate the use of plastic when it comes to our beauty products, we can make a conscious effort to buy larger tubs and pans of things instead of lots of little ones, for example. 

That way you’ll likely get more product for your money, too! 

Use Water More Consciously 

It is incredibly important to use water more consciously. We’re lucky enough to live in a world where we have it at several points within our homes, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be considerate of how much we use it. 

This means limiting baths and taking showers instead without leaving the water running too long before getting in. Turn off the tap  when brushing your teeth, and be mindful when washing dishes. Since water isn’t free, the more water you can realistically save, the better off you’ll be financially as your bills are likely to decrease, too! 

Think What You Drink

Buying coffee while out and about can be a massive contributor to the waste we produce every year. Thankfully with the use of reusable travel mugs you can have your hot drink of choice on the go without having to step into a coffee shop. 

Refillable bottles and cups are great for the kids, too. It means you get to help control how much sugar they’re drinking in place of the plastic premade drinks they usually enjoy drinking. 

There’s no planet-B, so it’s important to do what you can to take care of the one we have.

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Planning Our Backpacking Trip With Kids

I have so much that I want to share about our recent five week backpacking trip to Southeast Asia with our five children. I will write up our itinerary, some information on our favourite places and what worked for us as a family with young children but the best place to start seems to be with the planning.

This was a big, special trip for us, something we have been thinking about for over three years. We inherited a bit of money and decided to spend it on travel, specifically Thailand as it is somewhere Ed has wanted to visit for a long time but we wanted to wait until the children were a little bit older, out of nappies and strollers and able to carry a backpack. Covid then got in the way and along came a surprise baby but we decided it would be easier with Rex being smaller rather than a toddler so we continued planning our adventure.

The Route

I went backpacking after university and my favourite country was Vietnam so I really wanted to show the rest of my family why.  Travel between Thailand and Vietnam was easy so we decided to do both. I really wanted to visit somewhere new to me as well as we were travelling so far so I spent a lot of time looking at flight paths as I knew we would be tired at the end of our travels and Singapore fit the criteria of having both a direct flight from Vietnam and a direct flight back to London.  When planning where in the countries we would visit, a big factor was weather.  It is Monsoon season in much of south east Asia over our summer -something I was happy to embrace as it rarely rains for longer than an hour, but it did influence the routes we would take. I decided to stick to the southern half of both Thailand and Vietnam, and we visited the islands on Thailand's gulf coast as their monsoon season is later and the west coast islands would be wetter in August.  Bangkok is the easiest place to fly into, but we chose to fly out of Koh Samui and into Ho Chi Minh city in southern Vietnam.  I then picked an airport in central Vietnam - Da Nang to fly out of, creating the routes we would need to take across each country.

I always knew I would put it together myself, partly because it is cheaper and our money will go further, and also for the flexibility.  I loved the freedom of backpacking as a 21 year old, being able to change my route or times and I wanted that with the children as it was our first attempt at this kind of travel and I wasn't sure what pace would suit us best.  The first thing I needed to book was flights.

The Flights

There are many apps and websites to compare flights and I would suggest trying a few to find the best deals.  You can set up Google alerts for a few days on one route to keep an eye on fluctuating prices and websites like Sky scanner do the same.  I followed prices for a while to find out how much my flights should be and then waited for them to drop a little before I booked.  This is all time consuming but the flights I was looking at fluctuated by over £200 each, so with 6 seats to book it was definitely worth spending some time researching. We had a little flexibility with our travel dates so I had alerts set up for 4 days to look for which would be cheapest to fly.

As well as booking our outward and home flights, I decided to book flights between Thailand and Vietnam, and from Vietnam to Singapore.  The prices didn't fluctuate as much, but I had set my flight budget and it made sense to have those booked in so I didn't have to keep the money aside during the trip.  Our Vietnam to Singapore flight ended up being cancelled and moved whilst we were away but otherwise we kept to these dates.  Another reason for this, is that both Thailand and Vietnam have a Visa exemption rule for tourists staying less than 30 and 15 days respectively so I needed to ensure we would stick to this (or we would need to apply for and pay for an extended visa), and both countries wanted to see proof of onward travel before you board the plane. At both our London and Thai airport, I was asked to show onward plane tickets so I was glad I had these prepared.

Accommodation

Although it isn't always the cheapest option, I used Booking.com to book most of our accommodation.  It has lots of options, competitive prices and I knew I had all the information I needed in one app.  There are also lots of hotels that offer free cancellation so I could keep flexibility in our plans. The most important accommodation to book before we went was the first few nights in each country and I had set myself a budget for each night.  We needed two rooms, partly because seven is just a lot to fit in one, and also Ed was going to be working nearly full time whilst we were away, so he needed a private room with a desk to work in, and I needed a room big enough for the five children and I to be in when he was on calls and we wanted to have some chill time. The most important factors for us when looking for accommodation were good WIFI (for working), family sized rooms and a swimming pool, so that we had somewhere to cool off.  Location is important but with transport being so reasonable in the areas we were visiting, we didn't mind compromising a little.  I had looked at hostels but with the need for a secure working space and the fact there were so many of us, cheaper hotels were a better option.

The first hotel I booked was our Bangkok one, based almost entirely on the fact it had a rooftop pool and I had always wanted to swim in one. After planning the route we wanted to take, I started booking other hotels for Thailand, but always with free cancellation so that if we wanted to change the pace we could.  The Bangkok hotel was definitely one of our favourites - I will share all the hotels we stayed at in a separate post.

For Vietnam, I booked only the first three nights in Ho Chi Minh City before we left as I wanted to see how things went in Thailand and see what sort of places we enjoyed most before committing to anything and I was really glad that we hadn't planned ahead.  It was low season when we travelled and we had no problems booking as we went (or turning up at hotels and asking to have a look before we were bound).

Booking.com is easy to use and you can look at results either as a list or on a map (helpful if you know you want to stay in the town centre or close to a beach).  You can filter results (we used the free WIFI and swimming pool filters to make sure we didn't fall in love with a hotel that wasn't suitable) but there are others depending on your priorities. You can book far in advance, but we also used it to book for the next day on occasion.

Planning for in the countries

Whilst I wanted to travel with flexibility, I didn't want to turn up unprepared so I bought a notebook and started planning.  For each destination I thought we might visit, I looked up attractions, tips, restaurants and ideas and wrote them all down.  I used hashtags on Instagram to research, I followed expats living in the areas and I googled things.  I didn't book anything but I had a starting point.  

I also used websites like Rome to Rio and Facebook groups dedicated to backpacking to look at the best way to get between destinations and recorded these all in my notebook too.  My notebook was full of ideas and it stopped me feeling intimidated when we arrived in a new location by all the possibilities.  We ended up doing so much that I hadn't thought of, going to places we saw or following personal recommendations out there and I used the same notebook to record everything we were doing so I could write it up when we got home.

As well as planning for what we would do and see, I also printed out the phrases 'no egg or dairy please' in the languages of the countries we were visiting and the exchange rates so that I had something to consult and to show if I needed.  I got some money exchanged into Thai Baht but decided to just take out Vietnamese Dong and Singapore Dollars from cash machines when we arrived in the countries.

ad // One of the most important parts of planning was making sure that we had adequate travel insurance, something that we would never travel with out.  We have a policy with Cover For You which has comprehensive covid insurance as well as extra gadget insurance (necessary when Ed is bringing his work laprops) and zero excess.  

Packing

Whilst I call it a backpacking trip, we actually ended up taking two suitcases between us as it seemed the easiest thing to travel with when I would have a baby on my front as well.  I did a huge pharmacy shop with everything we could possibly need and plenty of mosquito repellent.  We packed 8 light outfits each with the plan to get our clothes washed regularly whilst away and the children had small backpacks each with some toys and tech, spare t-shirts and swimwear in case our luggage got delayed and plenty of plane snacks.  I wanted to travel light enough that we could easily get around and two suitcases was plenty for the seven of us.  Most things are so much cheaper in south east Asia so we were happy to buy anything we might have forgotten rather than packing too many 'just in case' items.

Rex is breastfed so I didn't need to worry about bottles and milk and he mostly eats what we do, however I packed a few familiar safe snacks for him.  I tried to pack enough nappies for the whole trip, knowing that as we used them up, we would create space for souvenirs and it worked well.  You can buy nappies out there, but they are more expensive and lower quality.  I took both a stroller and a baby carrier as the pavements were not suitable for a stroller in most places, but it was useful to have for airports and some destinations when we weren't going far.  Mostly Rex was in a carrier on my front though. Rex also had a small bag of toys, although he is at the age where everyday items like hairbrushes are more interesting.  

I loved planning our trip, looking for bargains and finding inspiration and everything went so smoothly whilst we were away that it felt worthwhile putting in the effort before we left.

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