Tomorrow You Are Eight

It is the eve of your eighth birthday, although it feels like you are already eight, we have been talking about this for so long.  This year it is all about football and Arsenal in particular and I think you are going to love your Saka shirt in the morning.  You have been looking forward to this birthday and counting down for months and I hope it is as special as you are.

 

It feels like you have really grown up a lot as a seven year old.  Whilst impulse control is never going to be your strong point, you have definitely matured in your emotions and communication and you are lucky to have such wonderful and supportive friends.  You have started junior school and absolutely love it. After a tricky end to Infants, I think the new challenges of a new school are exactly what you needed and I hope you continue to thrive there as an eight year old.

You seem to have moved away from the rainbows but definitely still like being bright, although anything with a gaming slogan or football gear is now what you pick from your wardrobe.  You still love a disco jacket though which makes me happy.

You are intelligent, capable, determined and so completely yourself.  You are vibrant, so incredibly loud and you are loving.  You frustrate me, push all my limits and bring me such intense pride and I can't imagine life without you.  

We have a climbing party with your friends tomorrow and then a family party which means lots of cake and lots of excitement and you can't wait!

Happy Birthday baby boy, Happy Birthday Finn.  You are loved more than I ever knew you could be

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One in The Morning

It feels like you have only just arrived, I still think of you as a little baby in most ways, but life without you seems so distant a memory too.  You are the baby we didn't know we needed to complete our family and tomorrow my tiny boy, you turn one.

You may have no idea what a birthday is but your siblings definitely do.  Cora told everyone we saw in the supermarket today when we were out buying party food that it was your birthday tomorrow.  The boys ask about what you want, who your friends are and whether you will be allowed some cake and every one is is getting excited whilst you remain oblivious.  Being the youngest of five means there are a lot of people delighted about your milestones.

A year ago I had no idea you were about to arrive, I thought I had a few more days still. You were born on Saturday evening after a very quick labour and you were just perfect.  7lb 13oz of healthy baby boy, you looked like all your siblings and completely unique at the same time.  You were alert, you took me in as I memorised every part of you and I remembered how quickly a heart can grow.

This year you have changed from that tiny baby who just needed to be held to a much bigger baby who still needs to be held.  You feel safest in my arms and we still haven't spent more than about 3 hours apart.  You still rely heavily on breastmilk and you have no intention of sleeping anywhere other than in my bed for the foreseeable future. You are a complete Mummy's boy, although your love for music means Daddy is becoming much more interesting.  You press all the buttons on the speakers to let us know you want a tune and then bounce up and down dancing in delight when we turn something on.  You are inquisitive, cheeky and determined. 

I thought you would be early to walk as you were crawling and cruising by 9 months old but you have no interest in taking unaided steps yet.  You are much more interested in crawling up the stairs as fast as you can, giggling all the way and making sure someone is chasing you up.  You say Dadada and Mamama and something that sounds a lot like no.  You love music with your Daddy but with me you love books (two very happy parents if this continues).  You have 8 teeth and the dribbling is starting back up again so I am sure there are more to come.

As your birthday falls on a weekend, we are having a party on the day.  After your siblings have helped you explore your birthday gifts, we will head to the same hall where Archie and Finn had their first birthday and we will share cake with the people that love you.  I can't wait to celebrate what a little boy you are becoming, but before that moment I need to stop and take in everything you are now. The tiny boy curled up beside me as I write this is only going to get bigger, smarter and more independent and whilst the days might seem long at times, I know how lucky I am to get to spend them with you in my arms.  On your last night as an 11 month old, I want to give you an extra cuddle, a bonus kiss and let you know how loved you are.

Tomorrow my tiny boy, you will be one! 

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Nun Night Eight Year Old

The countdown started earlier than ever this year, I think with every passing year the excitement grows and unfortunately you will always be the last of your friends to have a birthday.  We are here though, I have just tucked you in for the last time as an eight year old and you will wake up nine, probably another inch taller and a little bit more grown up again.

Over lockdown you felt a bit younger again, you played more with toys and with your siblings once we took away friends and the social normalities but as things start to lift, as you find a social side of your gaming, as you went back to school for a few weeks, I saw you grow up again and we are caught in the middle now, two sides of you, the boy who is still my baby and the child who is racing towards independence and maturity.  

Eight was the year you seemed to learn more about the world, to understand things a bit better and to ask interesting questions.  It was the year you gained such amazing confidence skiing and I have seen recently how much you have progressed in swimming as you finally choose to swim in the sea after years of rarely going in past your ankles.  Eight was the year you started to think more about your future and your school report shows me how much you have been trying at school.  I still haven't managed to get you loving books but I will never give up trying.

This year your birthday is a bit different.  Lockdown is lifting and we can do much more than we could, but we still can't celebrate in the same ways and you are happy with a smaller party and a special family day out.  You have asked for a gaming headset so you can talk to your friends as you play on the x-box and you can't wait to connect.

These photos are from yesterday, we went to the beach after dinner and you wanted to go swimming in the sea and practice treading water.  You weren't that deep when I took these but you are turning into such a water baby and I love that.  You were so happy.  I find it hard to capture photos of you as you get older but I see you so clearly in these.  You are my son, my baby boy and my friend and I love getting to spend time one on one and learn more about you.

9 is going to be a big year, school is going to be different, everything will be different and year 5 is important in an area where you are expected to sit the 11+ in the first week of September (when you will have only just turned 10).  I know you are strong enough to cope with everything, you have a brilliant attitude to life and you can't wait to get stuck in to learning again.

Eight was full of fun but I think nine is going to be an exciting new adventure for you, I can't wait to be part of it.

Sleep tight my gorgeous eight year old, for tomorrow is a big day 

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Tomorrow You Are Five

It has been a long week since your brother's birthday, you have checked several times a day how long you have to wait for your birthday but we are on the final countdown now as when you wake up tomorrow morning you will already be 5.  I still remember it so vividly, you were the quickest of my babies to arrive, a whirlwind of a labour and a whirlwind of a child but somehow you seemed such a calm baby in the middle.  

We never dreamed you would be where you are now, you are learning to read and write and practicing this skill all over my walls.  You are in love with letters and have such a desire to learn and you bounce happily into school every morning now.  I wasn't convinced you would settle this easily and you definitely make sure they know you are there, but I can't believe how much you have learned in such a short time.  

You are still full of energy, someday it radiates out of you and you need to be walked regularly.  We are still trying to find the best way to channel it sometimes but we are getting there.  You love water in every sense from swimming, to just playing with it as you wash your hands and the quickest way to get both you and your sister out of trouble is to offer you a bath.

You are still incredibly close and I see how you impact each other. As a nearly 5 year old you have joined in with her love of all things pink, rainbow and unicorn and you can't resist sparkly things either.  You are rough and tumble but you can be so kind and caring when you want to and you alternate between wanting to wrestle with her and wanting to protect her.

At 4 you are loud and proud, you love to dance and make music, you are happy as the centre of attention and you are excited about everything.  You are so grateful when you receive gifts and thankful when you get your way.  You still want to eat chicken nuggets and chips for every meal though, we might be working on that one for a while.

You are wild, overflowing with personality, soft and cuddly.  You are going to change the world, we just don't know how yet and I hope that as a five year old you stay true to yourself, not caring what other people think, living your best life.

Tomorrow I will take a moment to remember how far you have come, how you have beaten the odds, proved everyone wrong and what an amazing little person you have become.  

Happy Birthday baby boy, Happy Birthday Finn.  You are loved more than I ever knew you could be

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Tomorrow you are Two

Every family has different parts that make it whole, every member brings something unique and indispensible and you, Finn, are our smile.  I don't doubt there will be years where you are a moody teenager, that your tantrums will get worse, that you won't always be the way you are now, but right now you are the sunshine in our days, you brighten up even the darkest Monday morning and we couldn't love you more.

One to two has been a busy year, you have learned to walk independently and as with everything, you did it your own way.  It was your brother's birthday and after months of confidently cruising you were still refusing to let go and attempt it alone.  When you finally did, it was with a big audience, an even bigger grin on your face and you walked right out the room like you had been doing it for ages.  It took you a little longer than your brothers, but we didn't doubt you would get there.

This year you learned to talk and I have found it hard not to compare your progress to your brothers.  You are unique and you are communicating in your own way.  Your language seems to have started snowballing since Christmas and every day you are learning new words.  There are still plenty that I 

don't understand yet, but you understand me (other than when I say no or stop).

At nearly 2 you are strong willed and defiant.  You have refused to just slot in like I was told third babies do - we know you are around! You are interested in everything, put off by nothing and everything is a climbing frame.  You are a little whirlwind at times, but you can also sit and play beautifully for ages.  You are desperate to be big like your brothers but you also want to be a baby like your sister.  You adore her, she is your favourite person and I love watching the two of you interact.  

I still think of you as a baby but from the outside you are starting to look less like one.  Those wispy baby curls that framed your face have gone, you race confidently into new situations, you make your choices known, you are growing and changing.  You still insist on your 'daddit' (dummy) to fall asleep though, and you lay with your arms tucked under you and your bum in the air as only babies and small children can. 

One was the age you became a big brother, just two days after you turned 16 months.  You loved your sister immediately and you two have a special bond.  You watch how close your big brothers are and you get impatient to have the same fun with Cora - I think you two are going to cause so much mischief once she is really on the move!

I am constantly reminded of quite how far you have come, the odds you have beaten and the mountains that you are still desperate to move.  You will always be a little miracle to us.

Happy Birthday baby boy, Happy Birthday Finn.  You are loved more than I ever knew you could be

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Nun Night Two Year Old

To my gorgeous boy,

Just as I wrote you a letter before you turned one, and before you turned two, I find myself here knowing that when we wake up, you will be three.  In the past year you have left the toddler days behind and you are excited and eager for something more.  Preschool beckons along with an independence from me that I am still reluctant to give.

As I put you to bed each night, and we sit on your dark blue bean bag and read a bed time story, I am already seeing changes.  The days where you sat cuddled in, listening intently to every line on every page have gone.  Now you pick the same stories every night, because you know them.  You can think of new questions to ask, new 'whys', and you can ask to read more words yourself.  You still have the same love for stories as ever, but you want to be a part of them now, not just a listener.

When you were potty training earlier this year, I used to tell you stories.  Between the two of us we made up a whole series of books, about Dylan, his friend Oscar and the huge castle that they lived in.  The first one was all mine, a way to make you sit still, but after that you wouldn't just listen.  You would interrupt to add bits in, or change the details and eventually it would be you telling me a story.

You love adventure, and find it everywhere, from the obstacle course at the park to underneath a blanket huddled with your brother.  You seek friends wherever you go and are such a sociable boy.  If we go to the park without your friends, you find an older child who will have a conversation with you, and play games with you.  I know how ready you are for preschool and I know that you are going to love the new backpack and lunch box that Mummy and Daddy have got you for your birthday. 

As a two year old you were cheeky, curious, chatty and cautious.  You are not yet riding a bike, scooting round or climbing to the top of the playground, but you are confident and I have no doubts that you will get there soon enough.  You are a (mostly) loving big brother, always checking on Archie, and sharing with him so well.  You don't always get along, but hearing the two of you in fits of giggles together is priceless, and I remember that the best gift we have given you is your mini sidekick. Archie brings out a different side of you too, as your personalities are so different, you become more daring, more silly and more cheeky around him.

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