Before You Turn Eight

It is a birthday unlike any other this year, something I have been trying to prepare you for, but when I confirmed that your birthday would definitely be spent in lockdown, I saw your face drop.  You have been so brave this past year, you have put up with so much, lost out on so many things and you were clinging on to this looming birthday.  I hope more than anything that I can bring some magic to you tomorrow despite everything.

As a seven year old you entered life in a pandemic and lost out on the ability to see your friends, go to school and live the life you had been, but still I have watched you grow and mature and change.  You lost a front tooth and it immediately changed how you look.  The new one is growing in so much bigger, giving me a tiny glimpse of the man you will one day be, with a smile so big that the tooth fits in perfectly.  Your hair is getting longer and out of control but you are still holding out for the day the barbers open again and not risking a Daddy haircut! You are growing taller so quickly and whilst next to your biggest brother you look quite small, you are actually not small at all.  

You still love computer games, the colour black, wearing blankets instead of clothes and cuddles, and after hating books and reading for so long, you now love being read to.  I had stopped at one point as you protested constantly but now you ask for extra chapters every night and I hope some time soon you will start wanting to read more of these stories yourself.  

I see how this pandemic has affected relationships and I see how much you miss your friendships but I want you to know that even if you don't get to see all the people you want to, you are loved by so many.  I have planned some 'online play dates' for you tomorrow so you can game with your friends and I am hoping that schools can reopen in three weeks and you can see them in person too.  Birthday parties are such an integral part of childhood and it breaks my heart to know how much you wanted one this year.  I offered you a summer birthday party if we are allowed and you have already made the guestlist. In the meantime we will throw a party just us, with the siblings who have had to become your best friends over the past year and I have a few sweet surprises too. You have asked for cinnamon bagels instead of a birthday cake and you don't really like chocolate but you can't get enough of sweeties!

There are so many things I want to remember about you at seven.  How kind you are, how you care so deeply about those you love.  The way you can't sit still, the way you cuddle in close, arms around me.  The way you don't want a bath until you get in, and then you would spend all day in there if I didn't make you get out.  The way you can always tell me what you don't like easier than what you do like, the silent way you appreciate things and the joy when you really process them later on.  You are funny and sweet and I couldn't love you more.

Before you turn eight, as I kiss you for the last time as a seven year old, I want you to know how truly loved you are.

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Before You Turn Seven

It gets me every year when I check out Timehop and see that on this day I was working my last shift before maternity leave, that seven years ago I was a mother of one.  I had no idea what was in store for me when you arrived the very next day and you still take me by surprise all the time.  As I put you to bed for the last time as a six year old, the excitement for the morning already evident in your face, I can't help but look back on the year that we have had.

Six was the year that you finally got the hang of reading.  I knew it would come but you took your time, having little interest in letters and books, but then it arrived out of the blue, that recognition that you could understand those letters and you started zooming through the book bands at school and getting so much more confident with it every day.  Sometimes I think you would have been so much more suited to the later starting schools in other countries.  

Six was the year you changed your mind and rather than wanting pink, gold and every other colour, you just wanted black.  You have asked me to only buy you black clothes from now on and whilst part of me is a little sad about that, I love that when you make your mind up about these things you are so certain.

Six was the year you grew taller every day, or so it feels, your limbs lengthened and you look so much ganglier than the little children at your school.  You are in your final year now, one of the oldest ones in the school and I can see that.  You lost your first two teeth and your face has already started changing because of it.  

You still sing all the time, mostly George Ezra - Shotgun and you burst into song when I least expect it.  Sometimes it is a normal voice but other times you sing something very normal in a screamy-death-metal kind of voice and it scares me just a little! You are still very into how things feel and you went as far as taking your own pillowcase on holiday in case theirs wasn't soft enough.  You always have blankets attached to you or around you and everything has to feel right before it gets your approval.

I can see how much you have grown up in the last year and you make me proud every day (as well as driving me crazy most of them too!).  You are determined, loyal, loving and wild and so unapologetically yourself.  You still love cuddles and I am dreading the day that stops.  You would live with a gaming controller in your hand at all times if you had your way but once we get you away from a screen you always throw yourself into life fully.

I can't wait to see seven year old Archie in the morning and I am sure it is going to be an exciting year for you as you leave your infant school in the summer and head to a new junior school in September.  

Before you turn seven, as I kiss you for the last time as a six year old, I want you to know how truly loved you are.

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Before You Turn Six

Tonight you have been practising your six year old cuddles.  You have told me that they start becoming 1% less good from every year now, that you peaked at age 5 but I still think they will be the best cuddles ever because most people that know you agree that cuddling is one of your special skills. Tonight I put you to bed as a five year old for the very last time as tomorrow you will wake up six.

This time six years ago, I had no idea you would be arriving soon.  I was convinced I would go overdue and had no signs that you were ready.  You were born at 7:30 am the next morning and you were so laid back and easy going from the very beginning.  We were home in time for lunch and you settled on my chest and stayed there for many months.  Now you are growing up so quickly, finding your own friends and hobbies and developing strong opinions on the things that matter - like what colour shoes you need.  You are not afraid to make a choice that is a bit different and you are, as I write every year, unapologetically yourself.

Five was the year you declared that gold was your favourite colour (followed of course by pink), it was the year you discovered Minecraft and it took over your every thought.  It was a year of fun and friendships and you have such a wonderful group.  You were five when you started in year one, and even though the changes had been gradual, I couldn't work out how you managed to look so big next to the little children who started in reception.  There seemed like far more than a few months between you and them.  I saw your height, your confidence, your speed and your maturity properly.

Archie, my baby boy who isn't really a baby, I can't wait to see how much fun you can have as a six year old.  I hate the idea of you growing up too fast as you are at such a wonderful age right now, but I feel so privileged to watch you becoming yourself.  

I have been re-reading the 'before you turn' letters that I write to you every year and so much is still the same.  You are still so caring, looking out for other people and making sure everyone is ok. You still are happiest naked, you burst into song at the most random moments and you come out with some fantastic comments.  You love company and would have a friend round every day after school if we let you.  You don't like being in a room by yourself and always seek out someone to be with you.  You are funny, smart and bright eyed and we all love you so much

Before you turn six, as I kiss you for the last time as a five year old, I just want you to know how truly loved you are.

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