The Night Before Seven

You have been counting down to your birthday since Alexa told you it was 100 days away and I can't wait to see your excitement in the morning when the day is finally here.  We have a badge ready for you to wear to school tomorrow and a party with your friends planned for this weekend.

Six was the year you seemed to finally grow after being small for so long.  You are still one of the shortest in your year, but your limbs seem to be stretching out and all the clothes that always seemed too big are now looking short.  Six is your last year at infant school and you are getting ready to leave it behind next month and start at a new one in September.  

Six was the year dogs were finally knocked off the top of your 'favourite things' list (although you would still love to have one as a pet).  Animals are still your biggest interest, but Izzy's Koala World has pushed the Australian marsupial up to top spot on your list.  It is an ever changing top 10 animals list and so I wouldn't want to try and write it down as it may have changed by tomorrow.

Rex is still your favourite brother and you are excited to see him every time we collect you from school.  You look up to Dylan a lot too and like to support the same football team as him.  I think you quite enjoy being the only girl in a gang of boys.

You are kind and creative, messy and wild, so very girly and one of the boys all at the same time.  You are observant, motivated and full of joy and spending time with you is a privilege. 

I can't wait to see what seven is going to bring! But before the adventures of seven begin I want to stop for a minute and soak up everything you are now.  The freckles that pop out as soon as the sun starts shining, the love of that black velour sequin dress - even when it is completely inappropriate to wear, the way everything is special and needs to be kept, including the back of a receipt that we played noughts and crosses on.  I want to remember the way you always wait for your friend to be picked up from school so you can walk home together, the way you want to look after me and the way you know your own mind so completely.

You will never be this small again.  The clocks will move forward and so will you but I never want to forget this wonderful stage in your life.

Baby girl, you are more loved than you will ever know

xx

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The Night Before Six

For the first year since you learned to speak, you didn't ask for a pet dog . . . it was a pet bunny this time.  You are still my little animal lover but we are expanding the interest slightly now as you approach six.  Your birthday wish list is full of cuddly animals that you would like and I hope you love what we have chosen for you.

Five was the year you became a big sister, the year you stopped being the youngest and I was unsure how you would take it, having been the baby for so long.  I shouldn't have worried as the love for your baby brother is immense. He is your favourite person and you want to be with him all the time.  I am not sure if he adores you or is terrified sometimes but he is a lucky boy to have such a caring big sister.

The whole dynamic of a house changes with the introduction of a new person but you have kept your role as boss.  I love the way you try and parent your brothers, sharing your sweets with them if they have done something good to earn a reward and always being supportive.  You are kind and I hope that value will take you far in life.

As you come to the end of your second year in school, you have made some lovely friends and we had a party today with them.  I love watching the way you interact with them and seeing your confidence grow.

Five is the year you started sleeping more in your own bed, although you still sneak in mine wherever you can.  It is the year you decided you can exist almost exclusively on pasta and the year you started to really get the hang of reading, although your favourite subject is always art.

I can't wait to see what six is going to bring! But before the adventures of six begin I want to stop for a minute and soak up everything you are now.  The force of your cuddles, the way you pretend to be asleep with a big grin on your face, your insistence that everything is so special, even when it is rubbish.  I want to remember the way your hand feels in mine at this size, the grin with missing teeth and the drama every time a new one is wobbly, the way you like to dress with as many patterns as you can fit in each outfit (ideally animal themed).

You will never be this small again.  The clocks will move forward and so will you but I never want to forget this wonderful stage in your life.

Baby girl, you are more loved than you will ever know

xx

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Autumn Style with Angel's Face

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In the lead up to giving birth, I wanted to spend some quality time with Cora, reminding her that she is special and loved and that even though she won't always be the baby of the family, she will always be my baby and she will stay as the only girl.  In many respects she is one of the boys, she answers to the collective of 'boys', if they are doing something, she is more than capable of it too and she is part of their pack.  In other ways she is very much different to them and she loves to embrace her more feminine side too with some girls activewear.

These photos are from our last trip out together before her youngest brother arrived wearing some gorgeous new girls designer clothing- in fact he was born about 4 hours after some of these were taken.  I think I must have subconsciously known that something was about to happen as it felt like a good day to get out with just her for a walk along the seafront and a hot chocolate and she was desperate to wear her new cosy clothing from Angel's Face.  I used to love dressing her but now she is very much self-styled and led by comfort so the moment she pulled this velour set out of the box she wanted it on.  The hooded top  from the girls designer jumper section has a beautiful pattern on the arms and the joggers are warm and soft.  I used the sizing info on the website when deciding what size she needs and it fits perfectly (she is nearly 5.5 years but 104cm tall so wearing age 4-5). 

We walked through the town and along the seafront and she collected special things like colourful leaves to put in her bunny bag.  The bunny bag is ridiculously soft and you can leave the padding inside and remove the strap to snuggle up with it as a cuddly toy (I need to get a photo of him snuggled up in her bed) or take the padding out and wear it as a bag. 

Cora knew exactly where she wanted to go for hot chocolate and as it was just the two of us, it was easy to follow her lead.  We spotted a big letter A along the seafront though and she wanted a photo with her new girls designer jacket from Angel's Face.  Not only is it comfy and long enough to keep her legs warm too, it is the perfect Elsa coat for any Frozen fans and I just love her in this shade of blue.  The wind really picks up along the coast so warm and cosy is a priority and we both love how incredibly soft the hood lining is.  Cora has been wearing this coat for a couple of weeks now, including to school and I can also report that it still looks immaculate despite her love for playing with mud and in the sand.

Spending time with my children one on one will always be important to me, although there will be a break for a while as we adjust to life with a newborn and how much he needs to be with me. I know Cora will be warm and snuggly all Winter in her new clothes though!

Visit the Angel’s Face website to see the full collection.

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Time with Just One

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I feel like she missed out on the final months of having me to herself.  She had waited three and a half years for it, always with brothers around and then that final stretch before school when it should have been just her and I was taken over by home-schooling and living through a pandemic and she probably got the least attention as I tried to balance the educational needs of her three big brothers.

She won't be the baby of the family forever, so getting out with her now, just for little walks is important. She is absolutely dog obsessed (which can get interesting when we are out as the big two are completely petrified) and our local park has a little nature area with some dog statues that she loves visiting and petting. She managed to find some friendly real dogs to throw balls for and play with too.  

Our walks usually involve her picking up any stray snails that may have wandered onto a path too so she can move them to safety and stop them getting crushed and I always have to check her pockets as she likes the idea of choosing herself a pet.  She also likes directing the photos she wants me to take of her, demanding extras if she doesn't like my first efforts!

I couldn't resist this Molo dog dress for her and I think it is going to be a real favourite.  Childrensalon have a brilliant selection of girls dresses from lots of our favourite brands and she has had a bit of a growth spurt recently (I think she is still the shortest in her class though) so there is an excuse for shopping!

My plan over the next few months is to carve out as much one on one time as I can with these four little individuals because I know how consuming having a new baby is, and that it will be a while before I can take them out alone again.  I want to let them know that they are loved and special and unique.  I have something booked for Dylan and I, but I am still thinking of ideas for the other three.  Hopefully the summer holidays will provide us with plenty of time!

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The Night Before Five

This evening has started the same way each birthday eve does, with me re-reading all the birthday letters I have written to you over the years.  Every year I find myself wanting to write the same things, but each year I feel like I know you a little better, I see more dimensions to the fantastic character you are.

It is the fourth birthday in a row that you have asked for a pet dog and I love that you don't give up on your dreams.  Unfortunately for you we still have no intent on getting one, but I hope you love the things I have chosen for you.  We are having a little party tomorrow, it has to be very limited numbers as there are already 6 of us before adding anyone else,  but you can't wait to have your friends in the garden.  We missed this last year and now you are coming to the end of your first year of school and I think it is going to be really special seeing your friends outside the classroom.

You are still tiny, some of your friends are head and shoulders taller than you, but you are fierce and determined, you know who you are and what you want and your confidence shines.  You still love everything dog and tell anyone who will listen that you are going to be a vet with a pet dog when you grow up.  You stop pet owners to tell them how beautiful their pups are and always choose animal themed clothing when you have a choice.  

Four was the year you started in Reception and you have settled in so well.  You haven't had the biggest interest in the academic side of learning but you have loved the art and crafts, spending time with friends and everything else.  It doesn't matter how I send you in, you come out looking wild, mud all over your top, paint all over your shoes and sometimes a fresh plaster too.  You throw yourself in and are not afraid to get dirty.  You refuse to have your hair tied up and pull it out quickly if I attempt it and you are still naked as often as possible at home.  You still sleep in my bed most nights, you still want to cuddle to sleep and you insist on a kiss and cuddle if one of us leaves home without the other.

You are my little sidekick and you fit perfectly in our family.  I couldn't imagine you with a sister but you boss around your brothers and have Daddy wrapped around your little finger.  You are messy and wild but so incredibly kind and caring.  You are always keen to share with your boys and always looking out for others.  

I can't wait for the adventures of five, we are going to have so much fun, but before they start, I want to pause for a minute and soak up everything you are now.  The way you call for me out the blue, just to tell me you love me, waking up to you snuggled up in the middle of my bed, still looking so small, the way your hair flies behind you as you scoot at speed, the poses you pull as soon as a camera comes out and that belly laugh that makes you throw your head back. 

You will never be this small again.  The clocks will move forward and so will you but I never want to forget this wonderful stage in your life.

Baby girl, you are more loved than you will ever know

xx

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The Night Before Four

As usual, bedtime has been a battle.  I don't know if it is the situation with lockdown or if you just don't need so much sleep but every night you are the last one awake, desperate to spend every moment  you can with me.  I wake up each morning with your face pressed up against mine as you have climbed up into the middle of our bed in the early hours.

I have just re-read the post I wrote on your last night as a two year old and I could easily copy and paste it all as you really haven't changed much.  For the third year in a row you have asked for a real dog for your birthday and for the third year in a row you are going to be disappointed in the morning. Your back up ideas were squirrel chocolate or a McDonalds happy meal so you can definitely have one of the three! You are so wonderfully loving and grateful though so I had confidence that whatever we chose for your special day would be appreciated.

You are the girliest girl in some respects, you love all things pink and fluffy and I could see over lockdown how much you missed playing with other little girls.  At the moment your favourite things are The Lion Guard and The Lion King, anything with dinosaurs or dragons and your baby dolls.  You collect small things, parts of toys, individual characters from sets and you keep them in little boxes and play with them that way.  You have the most random collections but they obviously make sense to you and you love to play.

At three you loved to draw and write and you are doing so well with both.  You really surprised me the first time you wrote your name out the blue without copying anything and since then you have written it everywhere.  You love to draw pictures of people and dragons and I think you are going to love this side of school when you start in September.  You are the opposite of your brothers here who all preferred numbers at your age.  

You are kind and loving, you make friendships easily and talk about your best friends all the time.  When we go out you gravitate towards other children and will strike up a bond with anyone.  Your three best friends are all going to big school with you and I hope you carry on so close.  You may be one of the youngest and smallest starting school in a couple of months but your personality won't be.  

You would rather be naked at all times and your hair trails behind you, usually looking like you have been dragged through a hedge backwards.  You will rarely tolerate a hairband and if so it won't be long before you pull it out.  You are so comfortable with who you are and what you like and I admire that in you.

You tell me everyday how much you love me and my baby girl, I love you too.  I can't wait for the adventures of four but before they start, I want to pause, just for a moment to soak up everything you are now; fierce, loyal, loving and kind.  I want to remember the way you stroke my face in the morning, the feeling of your arms around my neck as we are re-united after nursery, the way you climb straight into my lap the moment I sit down, the way you try and read along with me when I tell you a story, just murmuring sounds as you haven't yet mastered all the letters.  You will never be this small again.  The clocks will move forward and so will you but I never want to forget this wonderful stage in your life.

Baby girl, you are more loved than you will ever know

xx

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The Ordinary Moments - Walking Home

Next month I find out what school this tiny girl will be going to.  I already know really, she should be pretty certain of a sibling place as she already has a brother at the infant school we have chosen but it is still a step closer to her starting school, something I am both ready for and dreading at the same time.  I will miss those snippets of time I get with just her whilst her brothers are at school.

She does 2.5 days a week at nursery, we look after my nephew all day on one day off and see friends all day on the other usually so it is that afternoon after nursery that is our real quiet time together.  Sometimes we stay at home and cuddle on the sofa or she plays quietly whilst I get things done and sometimes we go out for a little wander, to the park or the shop or down to a cafe.  The school days fly by now (I thought I was going to have so much free time!) so it is never long before we have to start the school runs but I love those moments with her which will be harder to come by in a few months.

I know that right now mainstream school is the right place for us, I know she will be ready in September and she is going to love it, I am looking forward to having more time to work, socialise (and nap) without little people around but I will miss this one on one time that I get with her every week.

These photos are from a walk home, we had popped over to a friends house and the fastest way back was through the park.  I love that they capture a variety of her cheeky faces, and the last photo just as we got back to our house showing how long her hair has got now that she isn't a baby anymore, the way it falls on her back.  If I could freeze these moments to revisit when she gets bigger I totally would.

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The Night Before Three

Tonight I put you to bed in your own room, the last time as a two year old but before I had made it to the bottom of the stairs I heard you dart out and climb into my bed where you would much rather be and sure enough I found you snuggled up in the middle waiting for me when I went up to check on you. 

It was your last day as a two year old which means tomorrow is the day you have been talking about for so long, your birthday.  It started with a small crowd, you wanted to invite Elsa from Frozen, Archie and his best friend, a horse and a spotty dog, but now you spend the day listing all the friends and people you want to come along, with your best friend Freddie always being top of the list. You know exactly what you want and I love that strength in your character (most of the time). Unfortunately what you want most for your birthday is a pet dog so you may be a little disappointed in the morning!

This has been the year you made close friendships, found the things and people you love and learnt to pull the best sulking face.  Everything is pink and ideally fluffy and My Little Pony features heavily and you talk about your brothers like you own each one of them.  Collectively they are 'my boys' when you mention them and you love picking Finn up from nursery so you can hold hands on the way home. 

You are so fiercely independent in your actions, you dress yourself, you put on your own shoes, you can do it all, but you only want to do anything if I am there. You get upset if I ever leave the house without you, even just to take the boys to school and you want to be within touching distance of me at all times, preferably on my lap. I thought this phase would have ended by now but it is showing no signs of slowing down!

You have big feelings and you understand so much. You tell me you are sad, or worried or ever so happy and you greet me with such love every time I come back from somewhere, even the bathroom. You are cuddly and affectionate with everyone and even though I have told you many times that we always ask before stroking a dog, I see you put your hand out for a quick 'fluff' when we walk past any.

You are cheeky and mischievous, your hair is always wild and you strip off at any opportunity.  You are such a 'girly girl' in so many ways but you are always grubby, covered in felt pen and getting stuck in too.

Everything I said in this letter as you turned two, and this one as you turned one still applies, you are still so much the same character, just with more dimensions each year.  I can't wait for the adventures of three but before they begin I want to pause, just for a moment to soak up everything you are now. I want to remember the feeling of your arms round my neck, your nose against mine. I want to remember the way you take care of me when I feel ill, the way you tell me that I am your best friend, completely unprompted, the way you make me feed your teddy in the morning before you have your milk. You will never be this small again.  The clocks will move forward and so will you but I never want to forget this wonderful stage in your life.

Baby girl, you are more loved than you will ever know

xx

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Parenting a Girl after Three Boys

 I am not quite sure what I expected parenting a girl to be like, but at the beginning it is the same, you have a baby and babies are all a little bit similar.  It is when they start getting older that things change.  I think in many ways I am still parenting a toddler rather than a girl or boy, but there are little things that are different between Cora and her brothers already.

Whilst they have always been straightforward, she can be much more complex.  If you asked the boys at two or three why their sibling was crying, they would answer 'because I hit them' if that was the answer.  They owned up to everything and said what they felt.  Cora learned to lie so early, to blame things on others when it was quite clearly her fault and she started pushing the boundaries at a much younger age.  She learned how to get what she wants, how to play a game to get it a more subtle way if the original answer is no and how to wrap us round her little finger.  The boys were never as subtle and at seven, five and three they still aren't.

I do wonder whether this is her being the youngest, or growing up faster with having three older siblings, but at the moment it is what seperates her from the boys the most.  In almost every other way I find parenting boy and girl toddlers the same.  Both need to play free, to run and climb and explore. Both need to crawl in the mud and jump in every puddle, both need to test the limits, both love to pick their nose, both need love and cuddles.

Of course I get to buy her dresses and style her hair (well I would if she ever let me). She is the most opinionated about what she wears though and loves choosing her shoes. She has a longer concentration span for things like colouring and craft than any of the boys did at this age and she really likes pink and her babies.

I know the big challenges are still to come with the teenage years but right now I would say she is more complex in some ways than the boys were at the same age, but ultimately she is still a toddler and the same challenges still exist no matter what.  I want to raise her to be fearless, to know she can do and be whatever she wants. I want her to be kind and loving and to help those that need it but these are all the things I want for my boys too. 

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Cora at Two and a Half

Somewhere between the Celebrations of Christmas and the Miniature Heroes of the New Year, Cora celebrated her 'half birthday' and turned two and a half.  It may not be the most major of milestones but I love stopping sometimes to just appreciate how my children are right now.  To jot down a few of their quirks, the funny things they do and say and record them to look back at when she is twenty five and a half.  

Cora may be small but never underestimate her.  She is the boss and she knows it.  She knows what she wants and she knows how to get it.  She is a typical two year old in that she is more than capable of throwing a good tantrum and she practices regularly.  She throws herself to the floor with some tears that magically disappear as soon as something like a biscuit is mentioned.  She is pushing all the boundaries and finding her own way through rather than following in the paths of her brothers.

At two and a half Cora is around 85cm tall and still wearing mostly age 12-18 month clothes alongside some 18-24 months now.  Her feet are a size 22 (around a 5.5) and she is far smaller than her brothers were at this age. She is all grown up in the day in big girl pants and dresses which she absolutely does not need any help putting on, but at night time in a nappy and zip up romper she seems so much smaller.  Unlike her brothers she is fiercely independent when it comes to self dressing and if I try and help with a tricky zip she is more likely to take everything off and start again than let me help.  

She loves her scooter and can race her brothers well, one legging sticking out in the air like a little daredevil.  She loves to be carried everywhere too though, preferably in my arms but a sling will do.  She loves playing with her babies and I love listening to her  'I will push you in your buggy darling, here is your milk darling' (not quite sure where the darling came from!). Her favourite game is hide and seek and she will always, always choose Blaze and the Monster Machines on tv.  Everything should be pink, or purple at a push and pasta is her meal of choice.  

At two and a half her speech has snowballed and she communicates well telling me stories and thoughts and often making up lies that really confuse me! She still breastfeeds before bed and first thing in the morning but rarely feeds during the day anymore, but she does have 'giraffe milk' (Soya milk) during the day sometimes.  She adores all three of her brothers and has lots of friends that she loves to play with.  

At two and a half Cora is turning into a proper little girl and I am enjoying watching her grow and thrive.  She is my little pocket baby and my feisty little girl.

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Travelling with a toddler

We have travelled lots as a family and I travelled alone before I had children but this was the first time I had taken just a toddler overseas on my own and I would definitely do it again.  At nearly two and a half Cora has the language to tell me what she wants and to talk a bit about what we can see, but she also still has a nap in the middle of the day sometimes (especially if we go for a walk with the buggy) and she made a lovely travel companion.

We flew to Budapest in Hungary on the Monday night and due to RyanAir's strict new cabin bag policy and my stubbornness, we had a child's backpack and a handbag between us with all our luggage.  She isn't allowed the tablet at home but I had loaded it with some games I thought she might like and I was hoping that it would keep her occupied.  That and a magazine we bought at the airport provided enough entertainment for the 2.5 hour flight and we got a cab the other side to find our hostel.

We booked into a hostel as we are used to bed sharing (although she sleeps in her own room now) and we had a private double room for our stay which was perfect.  She amazed me with her ability to take it all in.  Budapest was a great city to explore on foot and she loved running around as well as taking it all in from the buggy.

Travelling with a two year old, I was aware that we had very different ideas of enjoyable so I made sure we spent an hour or so at a playground every morning as that is her favourite place.  We found some fantastic ones and generally had them all to ourselves! It was dry whilst we were there but I think it must have rained the day before we arrived as she found the best puddles to jump in!

Only having one child meant I could do everything at her pace and as we had nothing booked, it didn't matter if we walked the long way because she wanted to balance along a wall as we walked.  We found a pond on the way to the baths and spent ages talking to the ducks and watching them waddling around, at the Christmas market she was allowed to choose a toy to take home (she picked an adorable handmade unicorn soft toy) and we made sure to both try a selection of Hungarian treats.

I wasn't worried about flying with her or being in another country, but I am used to other adults and her to other children.  In fact, it wasn't until we were leaving that I realised how little time we spent together just the two of us as we are nearly always with friends or at playgroups during the school hours.  It turned out to be just what we both needed though, and I heard her language progress as she communicated with me.

Our hostel was small and our room was right near the shared kitchen which meant I could put her to bed in the evenings and then sit in the common area and chat to some of the other travellers which helped keep me sane.  The fact that it costs no extra to use your data abroad too meant I was always connected to the outside world if I needed a break from a toddler.

Having just Cora with me meant not needing to tell her off and no tantrums or upset other than the time I told her not to eat the fairy lights.  It was lovely to just be together, to enjoy each other and to share the experiences.

I do think it would have been quite different if she was much younger as it was lovely to chat to her and listen to her thoughts on the world and what we see.  She was able to tell me what she wanted and needed and it made everything easier.  I would love to travel more with her, or to take one of the boys on a similar trip and I am so glad we found the time to get away.

If you want to read more about our trip to Budapest, then check out what we got up to on our 72 hours in Budapest with a toddler.  Of course I have lots of photos of my little explorer that I wanted to share . . .

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