A Homebirth Basket

I am 37 weeks and all set for my first home birth.  I have birthed once in the hospital, twice in the midwife led unit and for this fourth baby, staying at home feels like the natural thing to do.  I know that things can still be unpredictable though, that sometimes there is a need to transfer and even if we stay at home, it is helpful to have everything in one place, so I have prepared a home birth basket as opposed to a hospital bag.

I will have a holdall ready so that if anything changes the contents of my basket can be tipped in as we leave, but I want to think positive and feel prepared to birth this baby in the comfort of my own home.

The basket is layered so that the things I need for labour are at the top and the bits for after baby has arrived are nearer the bottom - hopefully this means we don't have to go rooting through when I need something!

For the labour I have: 

-Waterproof sheets

I am planning on taping these to the floor to protect the carpet and having one spare to use either on the sofa or the bed if that is where I want to birth.

-Blankets for comfort

I want to make a cosy nest in case I decide to stay out the water so I will use blankets on top of the sheets and bring in my birthing ball when labour starts

-Bikini

I am hoping to use a pool for pain relief and birthing in

-Birth preferences

I understand the unpredictable nature of labour, but I feel happier having my preferences written down for the midwifes in case I am not in a position to communicate.  Things like immediate skin to skin, delayed cord clamping until the cord turns white, no offering of pain relief - waiting for me to request it.

-My notes

Obviously my maternity notes are pretty vital!

-Hairbands

Labour can be sweaty, hairbands are pretty important

-Cord tie

I am planning on using a cord tie rather than a plastic clamp - it looks more comfortable than a big chunk of plastic on their belly and can help it to heal faster too. (I bought this one from Heartstrings on facebook)

-Cooling spray

I got given this in a baby show goody bag and think it might come in quite useful

-Bottle of water

I always get really thirsty in labour and it is important to keep hydrated.  This will actually be living in the fridge until things kick off though,

-Towels

For wrapping myself and the baby in when we get out the pool/when she is born.

For after I have:

-Baby vests

I have a couple, one in newborn just in case she is smaller than expected and one in up to 1 month size

-Baby sleepsuits
Again I have both newborn and up to 1 month size

-Baby hat
I can't resist a little white baby hat!

-Nursing bra
I have a few ready, but this Emma Jane one looks super easy and perfect for sleep too.

-Breast pads

I have reusable breastpads as I find them more comfortable and cost efficient as well as less wasteful.  I won these Mama Design ones in a competition recently and they feel so soft

-Blanket for the baby

-Comfy pjs
I have some nursing friendly pyjamas that I got when I had Dylan and whilst it is tempting to buy new ones, I find my old worn in ones so comfy that those are what I really want.

-Muslins

Muslins are my essential baby item, our house is full of them, although they aren't all as pretty as these Frugi ones. (I purchased these from the Natal Family)

-Nappies

We are planning on using cloth nappies from birth again and I have mostly Totsbots teenyfits alongside a couple of other brands.

-Mama pants

-Post partum pads

I am going to be using reusable pads this time - after doing some research on the chemicals in disposables I feel this is the best choice for me and my body.

-Wipes

I know the advice is to use cotton wool, but waterwipes are so much more convenient so I will have both ready.  I have a pack to use for me too for keeping clean and fresh.

-Cotton wool
I have bought some fresh cotton wool for cleaning baby too

-Phone and camera battery charger
Because of course I will be taking far too many photos!

At the moment my basket is safely packed and stored in my bedroom and when labour begins I will take it to whichever area I plan on using - most likely the living room.  Did you have a birthing essential?  I only did this all 15 months ago but I still had to google what I would need!

PIN ME!

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A Girl

I always knew that Dylan was a boy.  From that terrifying moment that I saw those two blue lines that changed everything, I knew I was going to be a mama to a boy.  The twenty week scan only confirmed my intuition and I never really thought about things being any different.  We settled into life, our little family of three and I loved being mama to my boy.  When we found out we were pregnant with our second little bundle, I was convinced that he too would be a boy.  I saw my future as a boy mum - whatever that may entail.

Finn was a huge surprise, but it only made sense to me that he would be a little boy as well. I considered myself to be so lucky to have a trio of boys.  Finn was our last and whilst I thought about the fact I would never get to experience things from the other side, never have a daughter, I was happy and content with my tribe of boys.  I felt certain that it was my role.

When we discovered there was a fourth baby on the way, it wasn't just a shock because we thought we were done, but also because things felt a bit different.  The idea that it may because this was in fact a girl was still hard to accept, but in my heart, I was convinced that it would be a little lady joining 'my boys'

Despite knowing from quite early on that we were growing a girl, it hasn't been an easy thing to get my head around.  I pictured myself surrounded by boys and a baby girl had never been part of that picture.  I was excited from the beginning, of course I was, but it was such a strange concept, that it has taken a while to really get my head around it.

Even this week, I asked the sonographer at my growth scan to check the sex - just incase they had missed something, and for the fifth time they told me that this is a baby girl.  In only a few weeks we will be parents to a daughter, my boys will have a sister and I will get to experience everything that comes with having a little girl (the nappy changing is scaring me already!)

I haven't gone crazy with the pink, in fact there is very little of it in her wardobe, and you won't find frills or bows either.  I can't work out if it just isn't my 'thing' or whether three boys has made me nervous of it.  This little lady has some beautiful clothes waiting for her though, lots of unisex styles and plenty of girly things in blues, purples and yellows.  Finn's clothes have always been bright and plenty come from the girl's section so she has plenty of hand me downs to grow into still.  

I know that really a baby is a baby and unless you are changing their nappy, there isn't much difference, but there are things that come with raising a girl that I know will be different to raising boys.  I am hoping it all falls into place, that by the time these differences take shape, I will feel more natural in my role as mama to boys and a girl.  I keep wondering whether she will be 'one of the boys', or will she assert her femininity from an early age?  She will be given the same opportunities, the same rules, the same toys and the same love as her brothers of course, but how will things be different with a girl?

For now I am enjoying the final weeks with my boys - these boys who couldn't be more different if they tried.  I always considered that I had 'one of each' because Dylan and Archie were such opposites and I can only imagine that very soon there will be four completely seperate and opposing personalities living together in this house as siblings.  This little girl is going to have three big brothers to protect her,  to love her, to wrestle with her and to teach her and I think she is going to be a pretty lucky little girl because of that.

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Planning a Homebirth

I know that you can't plan your birth.  I know that my body will go into labour spontaneously whenever it is ready and this labour may last 20 minutes or 20 hours.  I have come up with my ideal situation though and I am choosing to be positive,  but with a back up plan. 

One of my babies was born in the hospital, two in the midwife led unit and at the moment I am planning a homebirth for baby number four.  If you had asked me in any of my other pregnancies I would have told you that I would absolutely not have a baby at home.  I really didn't want a homebirth, I didn't think it was right for me or for us and it was never an option.  With this baby though, I can't help feeling that it is the right place.

My three labours so far all started just before midnight with the active stage getting shorter with each subsequent birth.  I am hoping that this baby follows the pattern and that everything happens at night whilst the boys are asleep.  My best case scenario plan means the boys go to bed with a calm mama and wake up to find a little baby asleep in the bed beside me, the midwives gone, the house cleaned up.  I know that should this not happen I have family and friends who can help out with the childcare though, just as they would if we were in a hospital.

I love the idea of sitting in my own bed after the ordeal of birth, with a cup of tea.  Curling up in my own bed with my brand new little person.  My shower is hands down better than any hospital one, my snacks are right there. I don't have to worry about moving again a few hours later when we get sent home, about getting dressed when I have only just given birth and about not remembering enough vests/nappies/muslins.

With all the time we have spent in hospital over the past year, I think part of my decision is the fact I have had enough of the place! I no longer feel as relaxed there as I used to as my memories have changed from wonderful births to weeks in scbu, uncertainty and fear.  I have so much trust in my body after it has birthed three babies already and I am confident and hopeful that it will know what to do a fourth time without needing to be in the hospital.

My labours have been quite quick and I know that at home I can just let it progress without having to go to the car, talk through any notes or see anybody.  I will have midwives here that will stay with me, dedicated care - something that isn't possible in a busy ward or midwife unit.  I would love to use a birthing pool at home, to have another water birth like I did with Archie.

I know that things don't always go to plan so I will have a hospital bag packed incase we need it.  I am planning to follow the same hypnobirthing course I used with Finn and I know what I want with this pregnancy and birth so even if we do get transfered to the hospital I will be planning as natural a birth as I can.  I am going to try and use cord ties again and will be asking for delayed cord clamping and a natural third stage as I did with the others as well as immediate skin to skin.

Birth is such a personal thing, no two are the same and we all have a different idea of our perfect scenario.  Despite everything I thought in my last three pregnancies I think this is the right path for me.  I am seeing a consultant this pregnancy (something new), but at the moment everything is still low risk and the birth I want is looking possible.

Have you had a homebirth before or would you consider one in the future?  I love hearing positive stories

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4 Months Pregnant

I am 4 months pregnant, or 18 weeks-ish.  I am considering 4 months to mean I have 5 months left until my due date.  I blogged fortnightly through my last two pregnancies and whilst I want to record this one just as well, I think monthly posts are the way forward this time.

I am four months pregnant with this fourth baby of mine and things seem to be speeding up.  The most overwhelming symptom this time around has been tiredness and unfortunately it isn't letting up much.  I seemed to get my energy back for around two weeks, but it is disappearing again and I am starting to get the feeling that this is the way the next 22-ish weeks are going to go.  I don't need to nap every day, so long as I get plenty of quiet time, don't walk too far or do too much and eat regularly.  Mostly I do need a lie down at some point in the day and the fact that the bloke works from home is making life much easier.  He is able to supervise the boys for a while whilst I get some rest.

My bump popped out very early and still changes shape dramatically across the course of the day.  There is very much a bump first thing in the morning, and it is pretty sizeable too, but by the end of the day I look far further along than I should.  My cravings change daily other than creme eggs which I eat by the carton.  I remember being the same with Archie, I think my body just likes sugar in pregnancy (and when I am not pregnant too to be honest!).  I am mourning the old style creme eggs with the lovely dairy milk chocolate, but the current ones will suffice for now.

I am struggling with blood pressure, or what I assume is blood pressure like I did with all the others.  I can go from feeling ok to being about to pass out pretty quickly and I have sat in the floor of a supermarket recently as I knew I would pass out if I didn't.  I have to carry sweet snacks with me as I can usually feel a faint spell coming and sugar helps a little.

My skin is still incredibly dry, especially on my forehead and I find myself using serums and oil on my face before bed every night and smothering it in moisturiser every morning to try and hide how dry and flaky it is.  I am not even close to that pregnancy glow I remember starting about now with the boys and I feel like my face looks grey and tired most of the time.

We had a private scan at 16 weeks where we found out our Britney bump is a little girl.  I am still waiting for this to be confirmed at our 20 week scan before I really do much shopping, but it is pretty exciting and terrifying knowing there may be a little lady joining our family this summer.  Whilst my heart told me this was a girl from the beginning, my head argued that another little boy was far more likely and I am still getting over the shock!

This month I have been doing a lot of thinking about my options for the birth and at the moment my heart is set on a homebirth - something I will write more about another time.  We have been discussing the sleeping arrangements too as whilst our house has plenty of living space, it is only three bedrooms and there will soon be six of us in here.  The boys are excited and understanding much more, although Finn is still oblivious and Archie hasn't got the memo about not climbing on me yet.

I am not yet half way and I am trying my hardest to savour this pregnancy as it is our last.  It is much harder when I feel so rough most of the time and I am not feeling the baby kicking yet either but I know I will still look back on this part and wish I had enjoyed it more.  I love having a bump and realising what amazing things our bodies are capable of.  I can't wait to meet this little person inside me who already has very long legs (Every single antenatal scan with every single child of mine the sonographer has opened with a line about how long baby's legs are!) and three big brothers to love her.  I can't wait to see her again at our anomoly scan and my shopping wist list is getting out of control!

This picture is from after dinner at 18 weeks, I haven't been great at remembering to take regular bump shots so this is all I have.

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Our Gender Reveal

When we found out that we were expecting baby number 4, two thoughts went through my head,

'What if it is another boy?'

'What if it is a girl???'

I quite honestly didn't mind, we were either going to have the wonder of a fourth baby boy or a new baby girl.  I know boys, I love raising boys and I could see my house full of them.  A daughter would be the unknown but a new challenge.  Either way I felt far more impatient to find out this time and I ended up booking an early private scan to try and determine the gender. 

At our previous scan, the sonographer thought she knew the sex based on the nub theory, but I wanted a better look to know for certain.  Last Saturday we went down to a local place and saw our little Britney bump on screen and we got confirmation.

We are expecting a . . .





We are so excited to be welcoming our sixth and final member of the team in July this year!

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Baby Boy or Baby Girl?

With three boys already I am sure you can imagine the comments I am getting as I announce this pregnancy.  Wouldn't it be lovely if this were to be a girl, surely we must want a girl after three boys, were we trying for a girl?  The truth is we would love a baby girl, although the concept seems alien to me after four years of raising boys.  We would love a fourth boy just as much, although yes, maybe it would be a shame to have never known any different.

I really had no preference when I was pregnant the first time, it didn't even occur to me to want one or the other, but when we found out we were pregnant with number two I was secretly hoping it was a second little boy - with the close age gap I could imagine myself with two little boys, driving trains around the living room, kicking a football together at the park and sitting under a blanket together watching films one day.  

Finding out about our third little baby was a shock, and what I wanted more than a choice of gender was a baby who would stay small that bit longer.  Dylan grew so fast and Archie grew up so fast, I wanted a baby.  I got my wish, maybe too much as Finn took so long to grow, but at 10 months he still feels very much like a baby.  He still fits perfectly in my arms, still sleeps cosily on my chest and he has the calmness of a baby much younger than himself at times.

After having Finn, with this baby, my one wish if I was to be granted one is that he or she is born healthy.  That I can spend those precious first weeks enjoying my little bundle rather than worrying whether he would survive and what quality of life he would have.  I want a baby I can have at home with me, who can settle straight into his or her place in our new bigger family.  Whether this baby is a girl or boy really isn't my priority, I fully understand the fact that healthy is the most important thing.

Somedays I think I would really like a little girl, I spot something adorable that a boy just couldn't pull off, I think about my favourite girls names that we have never had an opportunity to use and I wonder what life with a daughter would be like.  Other days I think a little boy would complete our family, a little buddy for Finn, a quad of boys that will grow up so close together.  I naturally gravitate towards the boys section in shops, I love my sons and another would be amazing.

I don't feel like I 'know' as much as I did with the other three.  I was so certain they were boys, and whilst my head still tells me this is another, I haven't bought anything yet, I don't have the same conviction.  In many ways this pregnancy is very much the same.  I have escaped the nausea and sickness again and my biggest symptoms are tiredness and a rapidly expanding waistline.  My cravings are still a mix of sweet, salty and dairy with macaroni cheese, ready salted crisps and flake bars coming top of the list - very similar to the others.  There are differences though, noticeably in that the tiredness this time has been exhaustion and debilitating at times.  I have had my first tastes of heartburn (probably because I lay down for most of the day) and the skin on my face is suddenly incredibly dry.

We will definitely be finding out, I don't have the patience not to, and I am tempted to book a private scan and find out early this time,  This is most definitely our last pregnancy (I know I said that last time but it really is now) and so I almost feel like I want to try a new experience - a private gender scan and finding out early.  We don't have a great nub shot and Britney seems to fall somewhere in the middle when it comes to skull theory.  Opinion seems to be split as do the old wives tales.  I still think this is our fourth baby boy but the bloke thinks it is a girl - we will be finding out in the next few weeks.

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Family Planning - The First 12 Weeks

This pregnancy has been by far the hardest.  Whilst I felt tired with the others, this time it has been complete exhaustion, where staying awake for longer than a couple of hours at a time can be a challenge.  I spent most of those early weeks in hibernation as I didn't have the energy for much else and everytime I thought it was easing, I would be hit again.  I am 14 weeks now and it is definitely easing, but I still need a nap every day and still spend most of every day feeling shattered.

I intended to write regularly in the early weeks, but as you can imagine it dropped down my list of priorities.  I managed four little entries though that sum up how the first trimester went.




4/11/15

Despite the fact I had never felt more nervous, I couldn't help laughing to myself as I walked into the 'family planning' section in Boots as my family has been anything but planned.  

The bloke and I met just over five years ago and our first little surprise was born less than a year later.  One planned baby and one more surprise later, and I found myself wondering whether my body had taken matters into its own hands yet again despite the contraception.  

Those two little lines appeared almost automatically, and in such a dark shade of pink I knew there was no doubt about it.  Baby number four is due in July 2016, and will be the youngest of four under fives!

It isn't the first time I have had to come to terms with a huge life change that I wasn't expecting, but it seems only to get harder each time.  I made no secret of the fact I would have loved a fourth little person to complete our family, but I never thought that would happen now.

15/11/15

7 Weeks (ish) - The tiredness is so overwhelming, I can't physically get through the day without a nap now.  Whilst we used to be out doing so much, I am finding I need more time at home where I can lie on the sofa 'supervising' the smallest two.  I feel so guilty as Archie brings me puzzles and games and asks me to play, but there are days I struggle with just the school runs.  I am finding that being out is the best way to get through the day, it is just the temptation to stay in is overwhelming.  When I am out I can't nap, when I am in I can't stay awake.

My dreams have definitely become more vivid and I wake up remembering them so clearly.  People and places that haven't been part of my life for years have reappeared in my sleep despite not having thought about them recently.

I am definitely starting to show, although I know it is only bloat at this stage.  My jeans no longer do up, and whilst I may squeeze them shut before, I now find it too uncomfortable.  Maternity jeans aren't yet staying up so the hairband trick is getting me through, but I think I might be turning to trusty leggings for a few weeks until I am ready for the big reveal.

13/12/15

As I move closer to the 12 week safety point, this growing baby is getting harder to hide.  The impatience is kicking in and I want to scream it to the world. The wonders of winter are that baggy jumpers can hide most things, and with all the extra layers I am wearing, I don't think the bump is so noticeable - on the other hand, the lead up to Christmas is full of events that involve wearing nice dresses, and occasions where I have to pretend my coke has some alcohol hidden in the bottom.  The fact I have a baby who still wakes up in the night helps as my excuse for keeping the party nights mild, but I am looking forward to the freedom of being able to explain properly.

The tiredness is still pretty bad, although like most things, you learn how to manage it better the longer it goes on.  I can get through some days without a nap now, but I know a long day or a big night is followed by a day where I feel so ridiculously hungover and ill despite the lack of alcohol.  My diet consists mostly of mashed potato and flake bars and I am suffering from heartburn some evenings - a sensation I am experiencing for the very first time.

21.12.15

The bulging stomach is getting harder to hide and the fact I haven't been drinking at any of the Christmas parties is making people start to question.  Our NHS scan isn't until after Christmas so we decided to book a private 12 week scan to make sure our little Britney is growing well in there.  Thankfully, he or she is and as we took the boys in with us, the sonographer turned over to a 4d screen to show them our little bean looking more like a real baby.  It was amazing seeing him wave at the screen and even sweeter when Archie waved back.  We had pictures printed in 3d and I have never seen anything like it before.  I never knew it was possible this early, but those four perfect little limbs, a bud that will turn into an ear, little fingers and toes and everything else is visible.  Our baby is growing and I have started to tell family and friends.  With Finn we made an announcement almost straight away, but this time I have decided to have Christmas and the new year to ourselves, to tell people at our own pace before it all becomes public and online.

Symptom wise, I am still feeling pretty tired, although I think things are starting to ease up now.  My skin is still dry and spotty, my hair is looking limp and I am so far from 'glowing', I am not convinced I will ever get there this time.  The bloating seemed to subside a little although I still have a very definite bump.

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Oops I Did It Again

Life has a way of not going to plan, and that isn't always a bad thing.  I often feel like my life is one big adventure, full of moments you can really feel it, like when I went skydiving or white water rafting, as well as the moments that don't seem quite so exciting but are part of it all the same, like cuddling a teething baby at 3am or watching How to Train your Dragon for the tenth time time that week.  

If you had asked me at 21 as I backpacked across the world where I would be 18 months from then, pregnant would certainly not have been a word you would have heard and if you had asked me to describe life at 28 then the life I am living would not be it.  The twists in this adventure have led me to this place though and I couldn't be happier.  

I have three beautiful boys, my first born, the one who made me a mama, who teaches me every day and asks the questions I struggle to answer.  My wild one who makes his own rules, he explores life with his whole body and who shows his love so fiercely.  My dinky one, who is getting less dinky by the day, who has taught me my own strength and who needs me so much.

This summer our three babies will become four.  A new twist in this adventure we are living, a new chapter in our story and a new child to love.  A final sibling for my three boys, the final piece in our puzzle.  We have lovingly nicknamed him (or her) Britney, as in ' Oops I did it again' as his entrance will mean 4 children under 5 years old and a new challenge for us all.

Who has got something in their tummy?

Mummy has!

Due in July 2016

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