This pregnancy has been by far the hardest. Whilst I felt tired with the others, this time it has been complete exhaustion, where staying awake for longer than a couple of hours at a time can be a challenge. I spent most of those early weeks in hibernation as I didn't have the energy for much else and everytime I thought it was easing, I would be hit again. I am 14 weeks now and it is definitely easing, but I still need a nap every day and still spend most of every day feeling shattered.
I intended to write regularly in the early weeks, but as you can imagine it dropped down my list of priorities. I managed four little entries though that sum up how the first trimester went.
4/11/15
Despite the fact I had never felt more nervous, I couldn't help laughing to myself as I walked into the 'family planning' section in Boots as my family has been anything but planned.
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I intended to write regularly in the early weeks, but as you can imagine it dropped down my list of priorities. I managed four little entries though that sum up how the first trimester went.
4/11/15
Despite the fact I had never felt more nervous, I couldn't help laughing to myself as I walked into the 'family planning' section in Boots as my family has been anything but planned.
The bloke and I met just over five years ago and our first little surprise was born less than a year later. One planned baby and one more surprise later, and I found myself wondering whether my body had taken matters into its own hands yet again despite the contraception.
Those two little lines appeared almost automatically, and in such a dark shade of pink I knew there was no doubt about it. Baby number four is due in July 2016, and will be the youngest of four under fives!
It isn't the first time I have had to come to terms with a huge life change that I wasn't expecting, but it seems only to get harder each time. I made no secret of the fact I would have loved a fourth little person to complete our family, but I never thought that would happen now.
15/11/15
7 Weeks (ish) - The tiredness is so overwhelming, I can't physically get through the day without a nap now. Whilst we used to be out doing so much, I am finding I need more time at home where I can lie on the sofa 'supervising' the smallest two. I feel so guilty as Archie brings me puzzles and games and asks me to play, but there are days I struggle with just the school runs. I am finding that being out is the best way to get through the day, it is just the temptation to stay in is overwhelming. When I am out I can't nap, when I am in I can't stay awake.
My dreams have definitely become more vivid and I wake up remembering them so clearly. People and places that haven't been part of my life for years have reappeared in my sleep despite not having thought about them recently.
I am definitely starting to show, although I know it is only bloat at this stage. My jeans no longer do up, and whilst I may squeeze them shut before, I now find it too uncomfortable. Maternity jeans aren't yet staying up so the hairband trick is getting me through, but I think I might be turning to trusty leggings for a few weeks until I am ready for the big reveal.
13/12/15
As I move closer to the 12 week safety point, this growing baby is getting harder to hide. The impatience is kicking in and I want to scream it to the world. The wonders of winter are that baggy jumpers can hide most things, and with all the extra layers I am wearing, I don't think the bump is so noticeable - on the other hand, the lead up to Christmas is full of events that involve wearing nice dresses, and occasions where I have to pretend my coke has some alcohol hidden in the bottom. The fact I have a baby who still wakes up in the night helps as my excuse for keeping the party nights mild, but I am looking forward to the freedom of being able to explain properly.
The tiredness is still pretty bad, although like most things, you learn how to manage it better the longer it goes on. I can get through some days without a nap now, but I know a long day or a big night is followed by a day where I feel so ridiculously hungover and ill despite the lack of alcohol. My diet consists mostly of mashed potato and flake bars and I am suffering from heartburn some evenings - a sensation I am experiencing for the very first time.
21.12.15
The bulging stomach is getting harder to hide and the fact I haven't been drinking at any of the Christmas parties is making people start to question. Our NHS scan isn't until after Christmas so we decided to book a private 12 week scan to make sure our little Britney is growing well in there. Thankfully, he or she is and as we took the boys in with us, the sonographer turned over to a 4d screen to show them our little bean looking more like a real baby. It was amazing seeing him wave at the screen and even sweeter when Archie waved back. We had pictures printed in 3d and I have never seen anything like it before. I never knew it was possible this early, but those four perfect little limbs, a bud that will turn into an ear, little fingers and toes and everything else is visible. Our baby is growing and I have started to tell family and friends. With Finn we made an announcement almost straight away, but this time I have decided to have Christmas and the new year to ourselves, to tell people at our own pace before it all becomes public and online.
Symptom wise, I am still feeling pretty tired, although I think things are starting to ease up now. My skin is still dry and spotty, my hair is looking limp and I am so far from 'glowing', I am not convinced I will ever get there this time. The bloating seemed to subside a little although I still have a very definite bump.
It isn't the first time I have had to come to terms with a huge life change that I wasn't expecting, but it seems only to get harder each time. I made no secret of the fact I would have loved a fourth little person to complete our family, but I never thought that would happen now.
15/11/15
7 Weeks (ish) - The tiredness is so overwhelming, I can't physically get through the day without a nap now. Whilst we used to be out doing so much, I am finding I need more time at home where I can lie on the sofa 'supervising' the smallest two. I feel so guilty as Archie brings me puzzles and games and asks me to play, but there are days I struggle with just the school runs. I am finding that being out is the best way to get through the day, it is just the temptation to stay in is overwhelming. When I am out I can't nap, when I am in I can't stay awake.
My dreams have definitely become more vivid and I wake up remembering them so clearly. People and places that haven't been part of my life for years have reappeared in my sleep despite not having thought about them recently.
I am definitely starting to show, although I know it is only bloat at this stage. My jeans no longer do up, and whilst I may squeeze them shut before, I now find it too uncomfortable. Maternity jeans aren't yet staying up so the hairband trick is getting me through, but I think I might be turning to trusty leggings for a few weeks until I am ready for the big reveal.
13/12/15
As I move closer to the 12 week safety point, this growing baby is getting harder to hide. The impatience is kicking in and I want to scream it to the world. The wonders of winter are that baggy jumpers can hide most things, and with all the extra layers I am wearing, I don't think the bump is so noticeable - on the other hand, the lead up to Christmas is full of events that involve wearing nice dresses, and occasions where I have to pretend my coke has some alcohol hidden in the bottom. The fact I have a baby who still wakes up in the night helps as my excuse for keeping the party nights mild, but I am looking forward to the freedom of being able to explain properly.
The tiredness is still pretty bad, although like most things, you learn how to manage it better the longer it goes on. I can get through some days without a nap now, but I know a long day or a big night is followed by a day where I feel so ridiculously hungover and ill despite the lack of alcohol. My diet consists mostly of mashed potato and flake bars and I am suffering from heartburn some evenings - a sensation I am experiencing for the very first time.
21.12.15
The bulging stomach is getting harder to hide and the fact I haven't been drinking at any of the Christmas parties is making people start to question. Our NHS scan isn't until after Christmas so we decided to book a private 12 week scan to make sure our little Britney is growing well in there. Thankfully, he or she is and as we took the boys in with us, the sonographer turned over to a 4d screen to show them our little bean looking more like a real baby. It was amazing seeing him wave at the screen and even sweeter when Archie waved back. We had pictures printed in 3d and I have never seen anything like it before. I never knew it was possible this early, but those four perfect little limbs, a bud that will turn into an ear, little fingers and toes and everything else is visible. Our baby is growing and I have started to tell family and friends. With Finn we made an announcement almost straight away, but this time I have decided to have Christmas and the new year to ourselves, to tell people at our own pace before it all becomes public and online.
Symptom wise, I am still feeling pretty tired, although I think things are starting to ease up now. My skin is still dry and spotty, my hair is looking limp and I am so far from 'glowing', I am not convinced I will ever get there this time. The bloating seemed to subside a little although I still have a very definite bump.
