Sunday 1 April 2012

Winning the Treble - What constitutes a 'Grown-up'

I spent the weekend at  the wedding of a university friend, and had a great time catching up with all my old friends and housemates.  These events tend to bring people together in a way that nothing else does so there is always a lot to catch up on.

The conversations mixed with copious amounts of alcohol (as is only fitting of ex-students) and soon turned to the 'treble', and talk of who would be the first from our house (my housemates from uni) to achieve it.  The treble is classed as the three points that signify you are a real 'grown-up'.

The treble in this instance consists of ; 

A) Being married, as we all know, grown-ups are always wifes or husbands(?).  From our house of 5, two are married.  

B) Having a child.  One, two or a hundred, starting a family is step two to entering the grown-up world.  Two out of five have children, one of those being yours truly.

C)  Owning your own house.  The big scary M word which is highly unachievable for the great majority of twenty somethings.  One of the five has a mortgage.

So how many of you 'grown-ups' out there have all three?  I have a feeling I will be the last to complete the treble, but partly because I am just not that fussed about getting married.  Buying a house is a long way off unless anyone reading this feels like lending us a deposit.  Babies however, babies I can do!  

What struck me most, was that five university graduates (three with masters and one studying a PHD) did not consider career to be as important.  It would make sense that having a fulfilling and possibly course subject-related job would be one of the grown-up steps, but it was never even considered.  The simple idea of having a family and a home was what we are fighting for, and a career is just a sideline to this.  It is probably just as well as before having a baby I was doing the incredibly important job of waitressing.  My ex-housemate who is now a qualified teacher therefore has a much more 'grown-up' title, yet I could still win the title of first to the post if I miraculously discover a few thousand to put down on a house before he can reproduce.

uni housemates
Me and my Uni housemates, 2008

So what are your views on what constitutes a 'grown-up? Spouse, children, a house, a stable career job or something completely different?  Leave me a comment and let me know. . . 


  1. We never described it like you did, but I think the treble for me has always been the same as you (actually, perhaps a double, as house purchase wasn't too high on my list!)

    Of my four uni housemates, two are still on zero, one is on one (married, no kids, no mortgage) and I am a couple of weeks away from completing the treble!

    I'll even have a few months left before I turn thirty, woop!

    1. You are steaming ahead there! Congratulations

  2. I think the reason that careers are sidelined is because when you 'grow up' you realise the difference and that you work to live you don't live to work. Ive got the mortgage and the baby but no rock constituting the marriage (although I'm working bloomin hard on that one, let me tell you!) And it does indeed make me feel very grown up!! It's actually a little scary when you put it like that! Great post!x

    1. Thanks for your comment. I like your point, but I would still like a challenging and fulfilling career one day. I want a few years to enjoy having children first though! Good luck with no.3 ;)

  3. One of my uni friends swore she's never become a grown up - for her that meant having a 'proper' handbag (ie something like her mum would have)!

    For the rest of us, grown up meant the treble but we called it 'mortgage/marriage/babies'. Unfortunately now for some of us, having ticked off mortgage, marriage and babies we have now graduated to 'divorce'. That was never in our original plans.

    Perhaps for us we need to look ahead to a treble part 2 9The Sequel!) - divorce/remarriage/step-children?!

    Lovely blog x

    1. The sequel does not sound nearly as exciting as the original three but I guess the outcome is still the same, grown up and with a full life. Good luck with the sequel!

  4. hmm... I have actually nailed the treble! - though I've never owned a car, and at 36 I feel as though I really should have by now.

  5. Hi hun, loved this post so much I mentioned it in the weekly round up on my blog!


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