The Night Before Five

This evening has started the same way each birthday eve does, with me re-reading all the birthday letters I have written to you over the years.  Every year I find myself wanting to write the same things, but each year I feel like I know you a little better, I see more dimensions to the fantastic character you are.

It is the fourth birthday in a row that you have asked for a pet dog and I love that you don't give up on your dreams.  Unfortunately for you we still have no intent on getting one, but I hope you love the things I have chosen for you.  We are having a little party tomorrow, it has to be very limited numbers as there are already 6 of us before adding anyone else,  but you can't wait to have your friends in the garden.  We missed this last year and now you are coming to the end of your first year of school and I think it is going to be really special seeing your friends outside the classroom.

You are still tiny, some of your friends are head and shoulders taller than you, but you are fierce and determined, you know who you are and what you want and your confidence shines.  You still love everything dog and tell anyone who will listen that you are going to be a vet with a pet dog when you grow up.  You stop pet owners to tell them how beautiful their pups are and always choose animal themed clothing when you have a choice.  

Four was the year you started in Reception and you have settled in so well.  You haven't had the biggest interest in the academic side of learning but you have loved the art and crafts, spending time with friends and everything else.  It doesn't matter how I send you in, you come out looking wild, mud all over your top, paint all over your shoes and sometimes a fresh plaster too.  You throw yourself in and are not afraid to get dirty.  You refuse to have your hair tied up and pull it out quickly if I attempt it and you are still naked as often as possible at home.  You still sleep in my bed most nights, you still want to cuddle to sleep and you insist on a kiss and cuddle if one of us leaves home without the other.

You are my little sidekick and you fit perfectly in our family.  I couldn't imagine you with a sister but you boss around your brothers and have Daddy wrapped around your little finger.  You are messy and wild but so incredibly kind and caring.  You are always keen to share with your boys and always looking out for others.  

I can't wait for the adventures of five, we are going to have so much fun, but before they start, I want to pause for a minute and soak up everything you are now.  The way you call for me out the blue, just to tell me you love me, waking up to you snuggled up in the middle of my bed, still looking so small, the way your hair flies behind you as you scoot at speed, the poses you pull as soon as a camera comes out and that belly laugh that makes you throw your head back. 

You will never be this small again.  The clocks will move forward and so will you but I never want to forget this wonderful stage in your life.

Baby girl, you are more loved than you will ever know

xx

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Tomorrow You Are Five

It has been a long week since your brother's birthday, you have checked several times a day how long you have to wait for your birthday but we are on the final countdown now as when you wake up tomorrow morning you will already be 5.  I still remember it so vividly, you were the quickest of my babies to arrive, a whirlwind of a labour and a whirlwind of a child but somehow you seemed such a calm baby in the middle.  

We never dreamed you would be where you are now, you are learning to read and write and practicing this skill all over my walls.  You are in love with letters and have such a desire to learn and you bounce happily into school every morning now.  I wasn't convinced you would settle this easily and you definitely make sure they know you are there, but I can't believe how much you have learned in such a short time.  

You are still full of energy, someday it radiates out of you and you need to be walked regularly.  We are still trying to find the best way to channel it sometimes but we are getting there.  You love water in every sense from swimming, to just playing with it as you wash your hands and the quickest way to get both you and your sister out of trouble is to offer you a bath.

You are still incredibly close and I see how you impact each other. As a nearly 5 year old you have joined in with her love of all things pink, rainbow and unicorn and you can't resist sparkly things either.  You are rough and tumble but you can be so kind and caring when you want to and you alternate between wanting to wrestle with her and wanting to protect her.

At 4 you are loud and proud, you love to dance and make music, you are happy as the centre of attention and you are excited about everything.  You are so grateful when you receive gifts and thankful when you get your way.  You still want to eat chicken nuggets and chips for every meal though, we might be working on that one for a while.

You are wild, overflowing with personality, soft and cuddly.  You are going to change the world, we just don't know how yet and I hope that as a five year old you stay true to yourself, not caring what other people think, living your best life.

Tomorrow I will take a moment to remember how far you have come, how you have beaten the odds, proved everyone wrong and what an amazing little person you have become.  

Happy Birthday baby boy, Happy Birthday Finn.  You are loved more than I ever knew you could be

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Nun Night Four Year Old

My baby boy, what a year this has been for you, life has changed for us all, but for you the most.  As a four year old you have started school and considering you are one of the youngest in your year, you have thrived and exceeded.  You walked in on your first day with such confidence and your love for learning has never wavered.  You have thrived  in the classroom, made friends in the playground and gone in with a smile on your face every day.  

As a four year old you have learned to ski - something I didn't do until I was in my twenties.  Considering you are naturally quite cautious, you ended up ahead in your class and on the green slopes by the end of the week.  We were so proud, not so much of how well you did, but of how well you tried, putting in so much effort every day.

It was as a four year old that you became a big brother for the third time - something not many your age can say! You have so much love for all your younger siblings and I think your little sister will soon have you wrapped around her finger.  You are protective and caring and the best biggest brother they could all ask for.  You and Archie are still so close, inseperable at times but you do fight like brothers - you both hit out but you make up in seconds.

Four was the age of superheroes, discovering real Lego, playing Christmas at least once a week, questioning everything, collecting football stickers, dropping your nap (apart from the odd occasion), learning to use Netflix, being introduced to computer games and your feet not growing (not even half a size all year). 

Tomorrow you will be 5 and you are pretty excited! You still don't really ask for anything, you are looking forward to getting presents, but you don't know what you want exactly.  You do know that you want to be bigger and you defintely want birthday cake.

It seems crazy to think it was five years ago that you made me a mama, 5 years since you came into our lives and changed everything. You started everything, your brothers and sister wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you.  You turned us from a couple into a family five whole years ago.  That baby I held in my arms with long legs and round cheeks has become a wonderful child.  No longer a baby, a toddler or a preschooler but well and truly a child.  You are polite, caring and loyal.  You make us laugh and you frustrate us too.  You can hear a packet of biscuits being opened from a different room but like most males I know you have pretty selective hearing! 

My baby boy, on the eve of your fifth birthday I need you to know how much I love you, how proud I am of the boy you have become and how much I enjoy being your mama.  You challenge me every day and I am the person I am because of you.

Sleep tight my gorgeous four year old,  for tomorrow is a big day.
Love Mummy xxxxxxxx

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