It's All Change

It is a strange time after having small children at home for eight years to be finding myself with some free time.  Having them so close together meant there was always a new baby before the elder one started nursery but my final baby has just started nursery and a new chapter is unfurling.

Finn is still only part time at school but as of next Monday, he will be doing five school days a week and Cora will be doing two which means for two days between the hours of nine and three I will have no children at home.  It feels odd, but right at the same time.  I feel so ready to have some more time for me, to rediscover what I want to do and how I want to do it and the little taster sessions, those 2 hours when Finn is at school already and Cora at nursery have been wonderful.

I am so excited for this time to rediscover me, but of course it is strange giving away so much of these little people to their schools.  Suddenly there is a whole part of their life that I don't get to see, they make friendships without my influence and when they fall it is someone else offering the magic cuddles that fix it all.  I don't think letting go is ever easy, even if it is just in small doses but it feels like the right time.

Cora has always been clingy, she has always wanted to be close to me and I wondered whether she would ever be ready for this day, but attachment does seem to breed independence and she walked in on her first day without really looking back.  She looks forward to her nursery days and she is so happy and settled which assures me that I have made the right decision. 

Finn is so excited for next week when all his friends will be at school and he can play out on the playground like his brother.  He looks so small and smart in his school uniform and I want to remember this as I know how quickly they grow, how much older the year 2 children look from the reception ones and how much he will change once he is full time in school.

And I have decided for the first week of having all my babies out the house for 2 days that I am going to spend it doing nothing productive at all. There will be plenty of time for all that, but this time has been eight years coming and I deserve to spend a whole day lying in bed watching Netflix and eating chocolate buttons, surely?

These photos are from one of our last mornings with just these little two.  Maxomorra, one of my favourite organic kids brands sent them these outfits and I just love the bright autumnal colours.

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This Little Boy of Mine

Next month, my little boy turns three.  It will have been three years since he arrived in this world, long, pink and screaming.  In three years he has grown so much, come so far, yet he is still but a baby in the scale of things.  He has so much still to learn and he is desperate to take it all in.  

In only two short weeks, he will attend his first session at nursery.  We spent lots of time researching different options in our area, visiting the nurserys and choosing the one we thought would best suit our little boy.  Dylan will join the preschool unit in a local nursery and spend 15 hours of his week with 26 other children who, just like him, will start school next year.

Many of his friends already attend and I have heard only good things.  We looked round and Dylan fitted right in, getting stuck in with puzzles, chatting to the staff and not wanting to go home at the end of our visit.  He is sociable, friendly and confident and I have no worries that he won't slot in.  We have daily questions about when he can start, he is desperate to follow his friends through the blue gates and when we do the nursery run to pick up a friend's son once a week, he loudly tells anyone who will listen that this will soon be his nursery too.

He is ready, well and truly ready.  He wants more, he wants different and he wants to be with other people his size.  I, however, am a little nervous.  For three years, he has been with me.  I have left him with family and carefully selected friends.  I have chosen every child that he plays with, am aware of every game he knows, every word he can say, and when he cries, I am there to dry the tears.  

Nursery will mean other people get to see my little boy, have a say in how he thinks, what he learns and how he plays.  They will witness a side of him that I never will. and I am sad that this period of his childhood is about to end.  He will be starting in slowly, doing two 9-12 morning sessions per week over the summer holiday to make childcare arrangements easier, and then taking his 15 hour free quota from September.

It is a big move for my little boy, but one which he is ready for, and one which I need to be ready for too.  

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Change

Change is necessary,  it is natural.  We all get older and wiser, change direction, move around and evolve.  It feels like we are all in a period of such change at the moment that sometimes I have to take a step back to see where we are going.

Dylan is fast losing his toddler traits and becoming a little boy.  Last week saw me finally decide on a preschool for September after weeks of deliberation.  This will be Dylan's first time in this kind of setting as he has never been enrolled in a nursery and it marks the beginning of something big.  It is only just over a year until we will be getting ready for school and that thought terrifies me.  

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It Goes Too Fast

It seems like only last week that I was in the Midwife led unit ready to meet my baby boy.  Only yesterday that I had a tiny newborn curled up on my tummy as he slept so peacefully.  In a flash the months have passed and today it is 5 months since that life changing moment that Archie entered the world.

My baby no longer spends his days snoozing on me.  He no loner feeds every hour or two and he no longer fits so comfortably in his pram.  His little limbs have uncurled, his hair has fallen out and re-grown in the lightest blonde.   His face has taken on personality and is often adorned with the most perfect smile.

My beautiful boy is well and truly on the move, even if he is not yet crawling.  He examines and explores every corner of his cot as he twists and turns and rolls.  His hands find the bars, his gums inspect anything in reach.  His eyes search out people and toys and his legs stiffen and wriggle in excitement.

His beautiful face is lit up with smiles and the whole room lights up when he lets out a laugh.  There is no sound more precious than a baby's gurgling giggle and Archie is getting more generous with his.  The best smiles are still reserved for mummy but he is a happy and content little man.

At some point in the next month, we will start our weaning journey.  Archie is increasingly interested in what we are eating and there will come a point when milk is not enough for him anymore.  There is something immensely precious about these first few months where I am his only source of food, nutrition, sustenance and I am sad about the prospect of this ending.  It is astonishing how much a baby grows up with that first mouthful.

Over the next month we will also be making the transition from Carry cot to pushchair, another change that I am reluctant to make.  My baby is not so little and already looks squished in his cosy buggy but as a tummy sleeper, I know that the carrycot is still the best choice both for his development and his rest.

In the next month we will have to move the little man into his own bedroom.  He is outgrowing his crib and the cot is all set up for him in his very own room.  I am still not ready to make the move but I know our days of sleeping so close are numbered as babies do not stay small forever.  Archie is not sleeping through the night and as well as dreading the distance, there is the added negative of night time wanderings for feeds.

Every month is full of choices and changes, yet this one seems even more so.  Every single day I see my teeny tiny newborn growing before my eyes and as wonderful as it is to watch him turn into the amazing little boy I know he will be, it is all going far too fast.

Disclaimer:  I have been compensated for the link in this post

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Big Brother

I can't imagine a bigger change for an 18 month old than suddenly having to share all the attention with a new little person.  After a year and a half of being an only child, Dylan now has a baby brother to share with, and as parents we have two children to look after, to cuddle and to spoil.

I know that every child reacts differently but my little man has taken it all in his stride.  He has accepted the new little member of our family and so far we haven't seen any jealousy.  In fact, after two weeks of life as a foursome, when I took Archie out in the pram it was not the usual 'Muuummmmmy' cries at the door as we left, but 'Buuubbbba' instead! 

Dylan has been generous with his kisses and although he hasn't been bothered about cuddles with the little guy yet, he is happy to snuggle up to Archie and I during feed times.  He hasn't questioned Archie's sudden permanant attachment to me although we did have a confused face and an insistence that the milk came from the kitchen rather than from Mummy.

Dylan wakes up in the morning calling out for his Bubba and spends the day checking on him and stroking him.  When we are out in the buggy, he likes to keep checking that he is still in his carrycot and proudly telling me that Bubba Archie is there next to him.  It has made getting him into a pushchair much easier too! 

With the bloke back at work now I am really hoping that his behaviour stays this way as I am so proud of my 'big' baby boy.  I am trying to make Dylan feel as special as possible and am enjoying the fact that Archie still sleeps for the majority of the day but I know things will get harder as Archie gets more demanding.  I am hoping that the wonders of a brother and playmate will make up for the fact that the boys now have to share my attention.



Dylan is such a fantastic big brother and I am so proud of him.

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Life as we know it

Life as we know it is going to change.  I don't mean all of us, I mean my little family.  Right now our days revolve around the three of us.  Our alarm clock is Dylan waking up and having a little chat with his teddies.  My breakfast time is his breakfast time.  We go to baby groups designed for his age group - designed for parents looking after one child.

When he goes down for his nap I get myself dressed and ready for the day, do housework catch up on blogging and twitter and get our lunches ready.  His 7pm bedtime means the bloke and I get time as a couple  to watch films, do housework catch up on blogging and twitter.  We have a lovely little routine. 

We can go out the house, grabbing the ready packed changing bag, the buggy and the baby and it isn't the hour long mission it once was.  We plan our holidays for 3, our days out for 3 and there is the perfect space on our sofa for 3 people to snuggle.

Soon there will be 4.

Life as we know it will change.  My nights of sleeping through will come to an end.  Our late mornings look unlikely to stay as a permanant feature and suddenly there is an extra little person to get ready every morning.  I am excited about the impending arrival of squish but also sentimental that our little routine will be broken.  

I remember all too well the tiredness.  I know that as soon as you have the nappy bag packed and the pram by the door, the newborn will have a pooplosion that involves an entire change of clothes, and he will then decide he cannot go anywhere until he has had a feed.

I cannot wait to proudly push both my gorgeous children in a double pushchair and show them off to everyone.  I cannot wait to see Dylan change from my little baby into the fantastic big brother I know he will be.  I know I have enough space in my heart to love both my babies, but there is no doubt that life as we know it will change.

I have been told by many people that the second child has to fit in with the first.  That the baby will learn the existing routine and (hopefully) follow it too.  I can't wait to welcome our second baby into the family but for now I am enjoying life with one and the life we know.

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Change

Sometimes I sit back and realise what a beautiful, smart and wonderful child I have created.  I may be bias but to me he is perfect.  He cries, he tantrums and there are days I am counting down until bed time, but all in all he is such a happy and content little boy and I know I have been blessed.

With another baby on the way, I cannot let myself believe we will be lucky enough to have two children like this.  Whilst we do have only the one and all our time and energy to focus on him, we are making some transitions now to prepare him for toddler-hood.  He has always transitioned so well; from milk to solids, from breast to bottle, from crib to cot bed and from feeding to sleep to self soothing.  We have never had struggles or battles and he has done everything in his own time.  There are still a couple of changes we wanted to make though and it feels right to do it now before we have our hands full with two.

We are in the process of cutting out bottles.  There seems to be so much conflicting advice on how long to keep milk in bottles for, but eventually they must all move on and the time feels right for Dylan to start having his milk in cups.  He only has milk twice a day - when he wakes up and at about 5pm so we have already changed one feed over to his trusty cup.  Turns out - he isn't too bothered!  As long as he gets his milk he is happy whatever the vessel.  Next week we will drop the morning bottle in favour of a cup as well.  It feels sad to lose another 'baby' thing, but whilst he can transition so easily it seems silly to keep the bottles.

Our next challenge is moving from sleeping bags to a cot duvet or blankets.  He is 13 months now and old enough for proper bedding.  We have decided not to introduce a pillow until he is older, but are going to see how he goes with pajamas and blankets rather than sleepsuits and gro-bags.  He still manages to migrate around the cot at night, so we have started this now whilst it is not too chilly to see how it goes.  I know you can buy sleeping bags for children up to 3 years, but I love snuggling under my duvet and I am hoping he gets used to his before it gets chilly.

My little baby is growing up far too fast, but I am so proud of how well he copes with change.  He is becoming an inquisitive, talkative and adorable little boy and I really hope that any future changes are met with such ease and smiles.

How have you found making changes in your child's life?

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Once so small

My little baby is turning into a little boy and I seem to be left wondering where the time has gone!  It was only 12 months ago that he was lying there helpless as a tiny newborn baby with his little scratch mitts on and that scrunched up face.  Now he is constantly on the move - crawling, rolling and cruising and outgrowing his clothes at an astonishing rate!

The smaller sleepsuit is the one he wore home from hospital, borrowed from his special keepsake box.  He may only have worn newborn clothes for a matter of days but once upon a time he fitted in them!  The second sleepsuit is size 18-24 months - the size he wears now!  He has not stopped growing and it is crazy to see quite how much has changed in one year!

When I see him sleeping peacefully in the cot I can still see that newborn baby.  His face has gained so much personality and his cheeky smile is contagious but when he sleeps he looks so innocent still.

I watch Dylan cruise around, pressing buttons, playing with toys, eating his dinner with his fingers and making sure he picks up every single crumb and it seems crazy to think that he was once so fragile, waking only for milk and then back to a sweet slumber again!

This first year has been magical and I can't believe how much my little boy has changed!  He is no longer a baby but a little person, imitating our actions, trying to copy our words and learning his own independence.  They really do grow up too fast!  He may be a big brother before we know it but he will always be my baby

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Life with a baby changes Everything

Life with a baby changes everything - don't let people tell you differently.

Not in a bad way, but your priorities change.  

You find ten pounds down the back of your sofa and your options are that pretty T-shirt you were eyeing up in Zara or a day out at the zoo.  You normally pick the zoo.

It is a beautiful day and you are deciding what to wear.  There is a gorgeous strapless mini dress hanging up which will mean more skin on show and therefore less tan lines.  There is a dark T-shirt and shorts hanging next to it which will mean bending over the buggy and maintaining dignity and not flashing the whole beach when child decides to pull himself up using your top to steady himself.  You opt for the T-shirt and shorts.

You really fancy a take-away but you have everything you need in the cupboard to make a spaghetti bolognase from scratch.  It has been a long day and all you want to do is watch a film and eat something greasy, but you can't give the baby prawn toast and he needs to eat as well.  You sulk into the kitchen and cook some spaghetti.

Motherhood changes you.

The list may be a little one sided at the moment but my blog usually chronicals the wonderful things about being a mum.  Suddenly everything you do has a meaning.  

You see the beauty in

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