Saturday 26 June 2021

The Night Before Five

This evening has started the same way each birthday eve does, with me re-reading all the birthday letters I have written to you over the years.  Every year I find myself wanting to write the same things, but each year I feel like I know you a little better, I see more dimensions to the fantastic character you are.

It is the fourth birthday in a row that you have asked for a pet dog and I love that you don't give up on your dreams.  Unfortunately for you we still have no intent on getting one, but I hope you love the things I have chosen for you.  We are having a little party tomorrow, it has to be very limited numbers as there are already 6 of us before adding anyone else,  but you can't wait to have your friends in the garden.  We missed this last year and now you are coming to the end of your first year of school and I think it is going to be really special seeing your friends outside the classroom.

5 years old, fifth birthday, letter to my daughter

You are still tiny, some of your friends are head and shoulders taller than you, but you are fierce and determined, you know who you are and what you want and your confidence shines.  You still love everything dog and tell anyone who will listen that you are going to be a vet with a pet dog when you grow up.  You stop pet owners to tell them how beautiful their pups are and always choose animal themed clothing when you have a choice.  

Four was the year you started in Reception and you have settled in so well.  You haven't had the biggest interest in the academic side of learning but you have loved the art and crafts, spending time with friends and everything else.  It doesn't matter how I send you in, you come out looking wild, mud all over your top, paint all over your shoes and sometimes a fresh plaster too.  You throw yourself in and are not afraid to get dirty.  You refuse to have your hair tied up and pull it out quickly if I attempt it and you are still naked as often as possible at home.  You still sleep in my bed most nights, you still want to cuddle to sleep and you insist on a kiss and cuddle if one of us leaves home without the other.

5 years old, fifth birthday, letter to my daughter

You are my little sidekick and you fit perfectly in our family.  I couldn't imagine you with a sister but you boss around your brothers and have Daddy wrapped around your little finger.  You are messy and wild but so incredibly kind and caring.  You are always keen to share with your boys and always looking out for others.  

I can't wait for the adventures of five, we are going to have so much fun, but before they start, I want to pause for a minute and soak up everything you are now.  The way you call for me out the blue, just to tell me you love me, waking up to you snuggled up in the middle of my bed, still looking so small, the way your hair flies behind you as you scoot at speed, the poses you pull as soon as a camera comes out and that belly laugh that makes you throw your head back. 

5 years old, fifth birthday, letter to my daughter

You will never be this small again.  The clocks will move forward and so will you but I never want to forget this wonderful stage in your life.

Baby girl, you are more loved than you will ever know


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