Thursday 23 July 2015

The Last Two Months

We have less than two months left, fifty five days, until Dylan starts school.  It has come around far too fast, it feels like only last week I was holding this small person in my arms, not knowing what to do with him, overcome with amazement.  I can still hold him in my arms, but he doesn't sit so neatly anymore.  There are longs limbs hanging over the side, a head full of hair, and a weight I struggle to carry.  He is tall, broad and smart.  He is nearly four, and we have two months of freedom left.

When he was born, we had all the time in the world.  I would waste days just walking with the pram, just laying next to him on the floor, just cuddling in bed, refusing to get up.  He was my baby, my first born, and I couldn't imagine him being any older than he already was.  These four years seem to have crept up on us, and I now have a 'preschooler'.  I can no longer call him a toddler.  He will always be my baby, but this boy, my son, is a child now.  

It is two months until he will be dressing in a little white polo shirt, smart grey trousers and a navy sweater, a bookbag in hand and excitement in his eyes.  Two months until he marches off into his classroom, full of children he doesn't know, and although he will do it confidently, it is such a big change for him.  He started preschool in a class of friends, but he starts school alone.

I wonder how he will cope, with five days a week of school - this boy that still naps.  I wonder how Archie will cope without his constant companion - I can already see how much he is going to miss his brother in the days and Finn still won't be up to much playing yet.  I wonder how I will cope, without my little buddy by my side every day between 9 and 3.

Come September, our lives will be ruled by routine.  The alarm will be set every morning, there will be no allowance for lie ins 'just because', or lazy days in our pyjamas.  Every day at 3pm I will be stood at the school gate, rain or shine, waiting for my baby boy to come out and there will be 12 weeks a year where we are allowed our freedoms.  

I want to make the most of it, to capture his innocence, to make enough memories to get us through the long terms.  I want to travel, to explore, to enjoy, to have late nights and late mornings, to just be us four, how we are.  I want to be his teacher and his friend, his mama and his companion,  I want to embrace the time when I still know everything and he still trusts me completely.  

I look back at the photos I took as he started preschool and I see how much he has grown and changed, I want to freeze him just as he is for the next eight weeks.

Bring on the summer, 

1 comment:

  1. I can't believe how big he's got - surely we all just had toddlers a moment ago!


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