Full Term - Feeling heavy and crazy hormones

I have reached week 37 which means that I am full term.  It feels like a period of limbo, this five weeks that are considered the 'right' time to have a baby - knowing that very soon everything will change, but for now we are just waiting.  Nobody knows when this little girl is going to arrive, it could be tomorrow, it could be that I have another month of carrying her safely inside, but she is coming.

I feel completely torn, physically I don't feel ready for another baby but emotionally this pregnancy is taking its toll.  We don't have everything ready for her yet and whilst this pregnancy has been tougher than the others, I don't feel ready to give up my bump, to share my baby with the world and to never be pregnant again.  I know that even when I am struggling physically I have it easier than most women, at 37 weeks I can still scramble around soft play, still power walk a double school run when I leave it too late to do comfortably (again) and still care easily for three young boys.  I have plenty of aches though, I was told with fourth babies they can engage and pop out several times a day and I am pretty sure that Britney bump is playing that game.  Sometimes I waddle, sometimes I am taken aback by the power of her kicks and sometimes I just really want to find a comfortable position to sleep in.

Emotionally however, I am finding this time a lot more difficult.  I seem to go from full of energy, ready to run a marathon to needing to sleep for a week and barely able to get off the sofa - and I do this about 5 times a day.  I can be incredibly excited and happy one minute and really grumpy the next without any real cause and I get periods of feeling really anxious too.

My biggest craving right now is space, which of course isn't something I get a lot of with three young boys.  I can't go to the toilet without an audience and I think knowing how attached I will be to this baby once she arrives, how impossible it will be to leave her, makes me crave a bit of 'me time' now whilst I still can (in principal).  I can often tell what will help bring me out of a grumpy mood, but unfortunately the timing is always terrible.  I fancy a long walk just as dinner needs to be cooked, or I am desperate for a hot shower just as I have to go on the school run.  The bloke has understood that it is best to always have chocolate buttons in the house for these moments - if in doubt, sugar always helps.

I am not doing anything to try and bring on labour, I really believe that babies come when they are ready and I am feeling so torn between wanting her here so that I feel a little more hormonally balanced (well as much as you do with a newborn of course) and wanting her to stay put until I feel a bit more ready.  Having such a small age gap this time and the fact Finn is still just a baby, not yet walking, means that I probably won't ever feel really ready for her arrival and I know that whenever she comes we will be fine.  

These final weeks are such a strange time, I feel unsure making too many plans, but I know the best thing is to stay busy.  I want to treasure every moment as we are but I can't wait to meet this baby I have been growing for so long.  I am looking forward to the birth but wondering how I will cope with four under fives.  I want to enjoy my bump a little longer but I want to meet the final member of our family.  It really feels like we are in limbo now and I have a feeling there are a few more weeks to go.

and yes I am sitting on my birth ball in a Care Bear onesie

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7 Months Pregnant

32 weeks pregnant, 7 months pregnant, fourth baby, big bump

This update was due a few days ago, but following the theme of this pregnancy, I am pretty laid back and disorganised so it is only just making it on to the blog.  There is now less than two months until my due date which means it is about time I started getting sorted!

I am pretty relaxed and by that I mean not ready in the slightest, but I know if the baby was to come now we wouldn't be bringing her straight home anyway so we still have time.  Even if I stay in this state (denial) until later on, newborns really don't need much, I have boobs, we have nappies and a few tiny clothes and I found for those first days my babies were not going to sleep anywhere but on me so we have time to build the Snuzpod crib.

That said, my plan for the next week involves buying a chest of drawers so that I can organise this little girl's clothes rather than having them in random boxes and bags around the house and work out if there is anything we still need.  I need to wash all the material on the Snuzpod as well so that it is ready to be built once we reach full term.  The plan is still to have a homebirth so rather than a hospital bag I am planning a birthing basket - something I will share more about nearer the time.

Symptom wise I feel like my growth has really slowed down now and I don't look quite so different from other people reaching the seven month milestone.  I still get looks of horror when I mention I have 8 weeks left and that I am not due until July but I don't feel as big as I was.  I have the midwife again later this week so we will see how the bump is growing.

The aches and pains seem to be lessening since baby turned head down, although getting up from the sofa in the evening is definitely a challenge and I have to waddle a little while before my pelvis clicks back into place.  This past month has seen lots of outdoor adventures, big days out and long days on my feet which hasn't really been a problem, well until I sit down at the end of the day anyway.

My cravings can generally be summed up as 'food', but if I could live off of Pizza, Coca Cola and chocolate I definitely would.  The bloke isn't always convinced by my choice of toppings but they always taste great to me!

Heartburn is my new symptom and I don't think I have it bad as I haven't had to use medication yet.  I think mine is more down to not eating regularly rather than eating the wrong food as it tends to start up if I go longer than 3-4 hours without food.  Somehow I seem to have more energy at this point in pregnancy than I have all the way through so far but I am not expecting it to last as my due date gets closer. 

Dylan is asking a lot of questions about the baby, Archie is very curious and Finn is still completely oblivious to the fact his days of being the baby of the family are numbered.  In fact, Finn has suddenly become very clingy wanting to be in my arms all the time, I don't know whether he is starting to sense change or it is just a developmental thing.  I have a feeling my lap is going to be as full as my heart once this little one arrives!

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6 Months Pregnant

6 months pregnant, 27 weeks pregnant, pregnancy, baby girl bump diary, 27 week baby bump

I am now 6 months pregnant and the third trimester isn't far off.  Considering how slowly pregnancy is meant to go, this past month has flown by and whilst in my head I still have months and months left, full term is only 10 weeks away which isn't all that long.

I am definitely finding this pregnancy tougher than the other three, physically and mentally.  I am finding if I overdo it (which is very easy with three small children around) then I can barely walk by the end of the day and I have mastered the pregnancy waddle early.  I have a repeat GTT (glucose tolerance test) this week as both baby and myself are still measuring very big, but I am hoping I just make chunky babies and have very relaxed stomach muscles.

This month the little kicks have turned into something stronger that the bloke can really feel and that you can sometimes see.  My anterior placenta means I still don't feel as much movement as I did in Archie's pregnancy but baby seems to be in quite a routine with party time being late evening (10-12 specifically).  

Mentally I am definitely more hormonal this time, I snap easier, cry easier and am much more likely to be drawn into arguments than usual.  I can see the way the hormones affect me but can't seem to do much about it.  I don't know if this is a girl thing, but I will be happy to go back to calm once she arrives. (well as calm as life gets with four under fives!)

This month I have tried to curb the shopping as I have a feeling she is going to be a big baby and not get to wear half her clothes otherwise!  I have given in to a few things though and I love finding girly bits without being pink and frilly.  We haven't started thinking about the big things yet, but we are pretty sorted having had a newborn not that long ago.

This month has started with Dylan asking questions about how the baby will come out and I know I will have to satisfy his curiousity more as I get bigger so I have a couple of books ready.  My tactic is to answer just enough, but not give him too much information and it seems to be working although every now and again he comes back with a new question so I know he must be thinking about it still.

I am seeing the midwife much more often this pregnancy due to bump/baby size which means an appointment every 3 weeks on top of seeing the consultant and April brings two midwife appointments, one consultant one, a GTT, Whopping cough vaccination and a growth scan (unless they want to throw in anything extra over the coming weeks!).

And finally here is Britney bump, measuring a little too big but completely wonderful.

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Oops I Did It Again

Life has a way of not going to plan, and that isn't always a bad thing.  I often feel like my life is one big adventure, full of moments you can really feel it, like when I went skydiving or white water rafting, as well as the moments that don't seem quite so exciting but are part of it all the same, like cuddling a teething baby at 3am or watching How to Train your Dragon for the tenth time time that week.  

If you had asked me at 21 as I backpacked across the world where I would be 18 months from then, pregnant would certainly not have been a word you would have heard and if you had asked me to describe life at 28 then the life I am living would not be it.  The twists in this adventure have led me to this place though and I couldn't be happier.  

I have three beautiful boys, my first born, the one who made me a mama, who teaches me every day and asks the questions I struggle to answer.  My wild one who makes his own rules, he explores life with his whole body and who shows his love so fiercely.  My dinky one, who is getting less dinky by the day, who has taught me my own strength and who needs me so much.

This summer our three babies will become four.  A new twist in this adventure we are living, a new chapter in our story and a new child to love.  A final sibling for my three boys, the final piece in our puzzle.  We have lovingly nicknamed him (or her) Britney, as in ' Oops I did it again' as his entrance will mean 4 children under 5 years old and a new challenge for us all.

Who has got something in their tummy?

Mummy has!

Due in July 2016

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25 Weeks Pregnant

I am using tiredness and two toddlers as my excuse for being so behind with my pregnancy posts as I am now most definitely 26 weeks, but I am finally publishing last weeks update!

At 25 weeks I should be feeling full of energy and even glowing but neither of these are true of this pregnancy.  I don't feel that I have gotten into the stride of things, and I still need to nap some afternoons to get me through the days.  I am so thankful that my boys seem to appreciate this need!  Whilst it is partly my own fault for not going to bed earlier, the boys don't seem to be sleeping well at the moment and that really isn't helping!

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19 Weeks Pregnant

19 weeks pregnant, pregnancy update, 19 week bump, maternity at 19 weeks

19 weeks means I am nearly at the halfway mark in this pregnancy, and I am preparing for major growth over the coming weeks as little pretzel will double in size.  I have finally booked my 20 week scan and I can't wait to see the little one on the screen again.

I am still not feeling any kicks, but the flutterings are happening more often now and I definitely feel movement every day.  I am really hoping that Pretzel gets a bit stronger though, as I can't imagine monitoring movement like this properly.  I had an anterior placenta in my first pregnancy and remember everything was much later, but I am still hopeful.

I don't feel like my bump is growing out as much as growing up, which makes sense as my uterus is around my belly button now.  My bump seems to start higher, although it still has plenty of growing space.  This fortnight has seen me go a bit crazy with the shopping, as I was already feeling sick of my limited wardrobe and getting fed up of wearing jeans and a vest every day.  I have treated myself to lots of new things, even though I know there is only five months of wear for them.  Hopefully after the twenty week scan my shopping can move on to baby things, although if we are team blue, I don't think there will be a lot that we need!

I am having lots of dizzy spells, whether it is from low blood pressure or low blood sugar I am not sure, but I am learning to control them, and now never leave the house without something sugary in my bag for when I need a pick me up.  I have good days and bad, but I don't think having two small children to run around after is helping much.  

Generally I am feeling much better now, with plenty of energy although I am far from glowing.  For some reason my hair seems to be coping well, and I don't need to wash it more than twice a week, compared to the every other day pre-pregnancy.  It doesn't ever seem to get greasy, which pleases the lazy side of me.

I have been watching a lot of Call the Midwife this week, which has actually made me feel really positive about the upcoming birth.  Things have changed so dramatically since the time it was set, but the women just give birth with so little fuss, that I do wonder whether it is the fear and the medicalisation that is our downfall nowadays.  Obviously I am grateful that babies have such a better chance now, but I think there is also something to be learnt.  after two relatively easy births, I am definitely hoping this one follows suit!

Dylan suddenly seems very aware of the growing baby, and will tell anyone that will listen that there is a baby in his Mummy's tummy - I really hope the interest stays!  We are looking forward to telling him whether it is a little brother or sister on the way in a couple of weeks too.

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