Sunday 7 July 2013

A Mother's Job

A mother's job is complex.  It is one that, once you have taken on, you can never retire from.  It is all consuming, a constant journey of learning - about yourself, your children and your role.  A mother's job is twenty-four seven.  A mother's job is hard.

I didn't quite realise how real 24/7 was until recently.

And then I spent a few days in hospital with the boys.  A house got squeezed down to a cubicle.  Sleep was rare and patchy at best and although I may have been in the bathroom alone, I could hear at least one child wailing for me in the background.  This was a real job.

Whilst in London on Tuesday,  Dylan fell.  He was just playing with toys and tripped.  I had my back to him but he was right behind me, so the moment I heard the scream he was in my arms.  After 40 minutes of screams and a cold compress on his left knee (where we thought the pain was), the centre manager of the venue we were in and I decided it was best to take him to hospital.

I have learnt to never underestimate a mother's instinct.  It is a powerful thing and nobody knows our children the way we do.  This was not just a normal fall and an ambulance arrived to transport us to the local hospital, UCLH.

An examination and an X-ray revealed only that we couldn't move Dylan without causing excrutiating pain and that Archie can wait hours for a feed when completely necessary as I refused to let go of my eldest son.  In an instant Dylan had changed from my confident, energetic toddler to a helpless baby boy who clung onto me with everything that he had.

Chilling out in Hospital

Eventually my poorly baby, the littlest one and I got admitted and moved to a bed on the 11th floor.  We were assured that there were no broken bones, and blood tests were done to rule out any underlying problems.

A long night followed with a child who was terrified of anyone that wasn't mummy, incase they wanted to move his leg and who didn't want to settle in an unfamiliar bed.  A long night in a claustrophobic cubicle, Dylan, Archie and I.

At 5:30pm the next day, Dylan had still not moved his right leg at all and we were taken down for a skeletal ultrasound where they found what I had suspected all along - a broken bone, a fractured femur.

Finally we had answers and after x-rays to confirm it, my beautiful boy had his right leg put in traction.  My little boy will be spending the next 4-6 weeks stuck in a hospital bad that he can't even comfortably sit up in yet and as Archie is breastfed on demand, he will be staying too.

I have 6 weeks to learn how big a job motherhood really is, how full on, exhausting and emotional it is.  6 weeks of keeping a toddler amused in bed and probably a second birthday spent on the ward.

A mother's job is never done.  It is full of guilt, fear, tiredness and sacrifice.  Thank goodness it is also full of excitement, entertainment, cuddles and love.  My job for the next few weeks is clear, so if I am not around as much on the blog then you know why  My job is to be strong for my family - to be organised, upbeat and positive.

I couldn't have gotten through this week without the help of two gorgeous bloggers - Ruth and Monika and without family and friends that have sent their love.

23 comments:

  1. I am thinking of you all lovely. I really hope D is on the mend and these 6 weeks fly by for you all! You are doing a super job, and you will get through it. Very soon you will have your bouncy boy back running circles! Much love x

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  2. Oh darling. What a terrible time you've had!? Thinking of you all. Make sure you take Archie for a few walks in the hospital when Dylan sleeps. You need to take time for you. I remember when Dexie was in, I found it soooo tough being couped up in the ward.

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  3. Huge hugs. If anyone can do it. You will. If I can help at all you know I am a text away. I know only too well how hard and boring a hospital stay can be. X

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  4. Big hugs to you all. Really hope D gets on the mend quickly xx

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  5. Oh gosh, you poor things! Sending love xx

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  6. Oh, I remember being in hospital just for 1 night with the 2 of them, I couldnt imagine being there for 6 weeks :( Hang in there and remember to take time for yourself, a worn down exausted mummy is no good to anyone x

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  7. Oh honey I missed this with not being on twitter as much. I feel for you so much. If there is anything I can do, anything at all I'm here. I wish I lived closer I'd come visit bring some stuff. This must be so difficult. Your poor wee boy. Thinking of you and send you lots of love hugs and strength xxx

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  8. What a time you have had! Must be so exhausting for you and I hope that Dylan is soon on the mend, poor little chap. Sending hugs x

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  9. Oh poor boy and poor you - that's not fun at all. I hope the weeks whizz by. Is there anything we can do or send to help pass the time?

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  10. This made me tear up! You are so strong for your boys, they are so lucky to have such a wonderful mummy to be there for them. I hope that there are lots of people that are there for you too, but if you need some distractions, or want some visitors, we'd love to come in and see you all (and maybe you can go for a little wander on your own for a bit if they'll let me stay with them). Did Ros get in touch? She was contacting the trust to see if they could relax the policy for you.
    All our love and thoughts are with you right now. Take care xx

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  11. Sweetheart, you are amazing. Don't sweat about the blog - we all know how important your boys are. I hope Dylan is on the mend soon. And that you are all home together soon too. xxx

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  12. Darling Bex! I JUST sent you a text then saw you'd posted. I'm researhing how to get to where you are so that we can come for a visit. Poor Dylan and poor you.x

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  13. Sending hugs to you and your boys. Don't worry about the blog, your family is what you need to concentrate on right now xx

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  14. I followed your twitter updates! bless him hope Dylan is feeling better soon poor little mite. I hope the next 6 weeks will go very quickly good luck thinking of you hugs xx

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  15. aww Becky, I'm sat here in tears as it brought back to me the moment that I was told Jack had broken his leg - thankfully his was below the knee & didn't need traction - it was tough going all the same so I can't imagine how hard it is for you in hospital with both of your boys.
    Sending big hugs to you & a speedy recovery for Dylan xx

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  16. Oh chick! I wish I could do something to help you, I'm so sorry that Dylan is suffering, and by proxy you and your baby too. I hope the 6 weeks go quickly!

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  17. I don't know how u are doing it all, you are so strong. Sending all my love to you and your boys xxx

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  18. Oh no Bex I'm so sorry to hear this poor Dylan and poor Mummy. That must have been so frightening for you. I hope you manage to get some rest. Take care, wishing a speedy recovery for D xxx

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  19. Bex, I am thinking of you all so much. It must be so hard logistically to do what you are doing, being there for Dylan, looking after Archie and being in hospital all the time. I can't imagine Mads ever wanting to stay still and lie there in traction so I am completely thinking of you having to entertain him. Poor Dylan. I hope the stay goes as quickly as possible for you all.
    I wish we lived closer so I could come and visit xx

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  20. Oh goodness honey - poor Dylan and poor you!! Will be thinking of you, I wish I could think of something to say or do to make it easier xx

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  21. Oh poor Dylan, I hope his leg heals quickly! Can't imagine how scary that must have been, stay strong :) xx

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  22. Oh my goodness poor Dylan - must be so hard for you all. Can't imagine how you're coping. Alice x

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  23. Only just reading this now from your link in your beach post - I didn't really blog last Summer and definitely didn't read other blogs. LP broke her leg - A green stick fracture of both the Tibia and Fibula, when she was 14 months old. Luckily they could put it into plaster and we got to go home but, long story, we didn't know how she did it and so 6 weeks in a cast followed by a 3 month investigation by social services. It was the darkest time of my life but pales into insignificance really compared to 6 weeks in a hospital bed with a toddler and baby. I have no idea how you coped. I'm now going to read some more of your blog so if you get hundreds of comments whilst I'm catching up - Sorry! x

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