Of course looking back at 10 years ago, before I started blogging, before I recorded these things, I could be looking back with rose tinted glasses, but I know that it was never this tough. The fact is my body is older, scarred, tired. I have four children to balance, I have stomach muscles that remember how to fall apart at the first sight of those two blue lines, I have a job that allows me to work at home rather than forcing me to run around a restaurant for 12 hour shifts and I just don't have the same energy and enthusiasm as first time Mum me.
I am in my second trimester now and things have eased, I have my energy back and the nausea has gone, but I still find myself aching after a busy day, holding my back in a way I didn't before and even though I still love this middle part of pregnancy, it feels very different from my first.
In other ways, being older and more experienced is wonderful. I feel much more able to advocate for myself in the medical settings, I am not afraid to ask for more information or to speak to someone else if I feel it is the best thing for my baby and I. I wish I had the same confidence at 23 as when I look back at my pregnancy care, I see the gaps where things could have and should have been better. I feel more comfortable making decisions now, more able to say no to things and to put myself first and more secure.
I definitely feel older this time around and I will be 34 before I deliver this baby but I am hoping being older and more experienced will mean I don't take any of it for granted. At the moment I am in that wonderful middle trimester where I am growing but not too uncomfortable but I am already concerned that the last trimester might be a bit of shock to my body too if the first was!
If you have had pregnancies with a big age gap did you notice a difference?
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