Wednesday 22 October 2014

Two Boys so Different

I knew my boys would be different, I could see it in their eyes from the day they were born, one pair so calm, taking in everything around him eagerly, the others with a sparkle that told us of energy.  As one slept through the first day, the other lay awake - a pattern they followed for quite some time.

We brought them up the same, or as close to it as we could, although there are obvious differences being the younger brother to an 18 month old compared to an only child.  We loved them equally and always will, but they are so different in every way.

Whilst Dylan is much taller and bigger than children his age, he is often mistaken for an older child.  His language is advanced, and his concentration is pretty amazing for a boy just turned three.  He is desperate to learn, whether it be through books or museums, and he is an outgoing but sensitive child.

Archie is pretty average when it comes to size, but is a boy on a mission.  Not one to be strapped down, he is a little houdini and can escape pushchairs and highchairs should the desire take him (and it usually does).  He wants to explore the world physically, using all his senses, and he communicates in his own unmistakeable way.

As Archie nears 20 months, I made the mistake of reading what I wrote about Dylan at the same time - a bit of a mistake really as I knew that they are not the same.  It worried me though.  Dylan is and was my benchmark.  He was my first, and therefore a 'normal' child in my eyes, and in many ways Archie is not even close to him in terms of development.  

Whilst Dylan would tell us that he was holding a purple hexagon at this age, Archie is still learning the words for colours and shapes without any knowledge of what they refer to.  Dylan's sentences are but words to Archie and numbers are a thing of the future, whilst his big brother was counting to 10 at the same age.  Archie hasn't had as much one on one time, but he has had something just as amazing, he has had a big brother to learn from, play with and share with.

I have been looking at it the other way though, and whilst at 20 months Dylan was learning to get onto the sofa, Archie had that in the bag a whole year earlier.  Whilst Dylan was playing happily with toys, Archie has been doing role play and pretend for several months already.  They both have such different strengths, and whilst one of my boys is already promising to be an acadmic sort, the other is definitely more physical.  I wonder what little pretzel will turn out like.

Although I know their differences, I must admit it is hard not to compare them, and I have been making much more effort to get Archie used to colours, shapes and numbers since reading the old blog post.  I think there is a general pattern based on birth order, and whilst there will always be exceptions, I have come to notice that this is the norm.  Both my boys are beautiful, smart, kind and unique children, and I hope they stay as different and perfect as they are now.


  1. Aww I love this Becky, you're right even though we love them for who they are you can't help but see what they were doing at certain stages. I think the things we do with them don't have as much bearing as we might think on what they do at each age, they will always just do it when they are ready. My twins have surprised me in being quite quick with somethings but because Lucas walked at 11months I find myself thinking they should be showing signs of that when really they are nowhere near ready! Lovely pictures of your boys xx

  2. This is a lovely post! My boys are almost the exact same. My oldest is super interested in learning everything, artistic and sensitive; while my youngest is not that interested in words, shapes, colours, etc... but he can climb up the highest obstacle at a soft play area or on the playground. My oldest didn't walk till he was about 15 or 16 months old my youngest started walking around 10/11 months! Both so different but both so much fun. I think these differences will help them both to develop and make them the best of friends as they challenge each other to seeing and doing things differently :-)

  3. I know what you mean about holding the older one as the benchmark. I am surprised by everything that Ophelia does differently. She mostly sleeps through and has done from early on. Talitha woke almost hourly for almost all of her first years of life. Ophelia eats loads. Talitha wasn't interested in solid food until she was a toddler. Ophelia started sitting up at four months. Talitha didn't until she was almost six. I try not to compare them but I can see that it's a little inevitable!

  4. I think that it is really interesting to see the difference between your children, especially when they are of the same sex. In many ways Mads and LL are really similar, they are both very affectionate etc. But actually they are really different, LL in some ways is more independent in terms of doing stuff but she's also really extra cuddly and clingy towards me. She also hardly says a word when Mads was speaking full sentences by her age. x

  5. Aww what a lovely post :) Being 29 weeks pregnant and with an almost 5 year old I do wonder what this baby will be like. Logan is autistic and when he was younger it was hard not to compare him to his peers etc but now he's at school he often overtakes his peers academically which is great. His struggle is with the social aspect of life. It does worry me to see if our second child will have autism as well but then I wouldn't change Logan, the autism is just part of him. It'll be really interesting to see how this baby grows and develops though.


I love comments, so please let me know what you think!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...