The Ordinary Moments // The End of Home Learning

For nearly three months, the children have all been home full time and today schools reopened for all pupils marking the end of this period of home learning.  It has been challenging in every sense, it has been full of battles and tears and I am desperately hoping we never have to go through that again.  I think I have focused so much on our failures though, that I neglected to see how well we have done.

During a time when just staying sane seemed an accomplishment, we got on with it.  We logged in every day, the big two worked semi-independently at times and it took Dylan getting a headteachers award on the last day of term for 'unwavering effort over lockdown' to realise that we didn't fail at all.  He may have lacked enthusiasm which I can't blame him for, online learning is not the best for anyone, but he got up each day and did it.  I got up each day and encouraged and motivated them (bribed at times, yes).  We have come out the other side of this strange period and I have confidence that the resilience that helped us all through the past three months will help us as we readjust back to school routines.

I wanted to mark the last day before school with a treat so we went for ice cream and to the park (our options for a special day are still very limited).  I wanted to let the children know that whilst I may not have been the most patient teacher, I am immensely proud of them all.  I am so thankful that I get to just be their Mummy again now and I am looking forward to picking them up from school and asking about their day, because for the first time in a long while, I won't know every aspect of it already!

These photos are from our last day before school, before I laid out their school uniform, dug out the water bottles and set the alarm for a time earlier than I have been awake in months.  I write this in a house quieter than it has been all year surrounded by the mess that seems a natural part of having them all home for three months.  It is going to be strange!

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The Ordinary Moment // Cliff Caves

The bigger boys are reluctant to go out now, I think they have got to the point in this pandemic where they would rather hibernate until we are allowed to see friends again.  The littler two are much easier to persuade out and I thought we would explore a different part of the beach this week.  Just a little further round the cliff from our main sands is this beautiful stretch of beach with natural caves eroded into the chalk.  The ground is not the soft sand we usually visit but it is covered in stones and rocks, seaweed and sea shells and anything else nature leaves.  

We went exploring, making adventure trails across the rocks, looking at the spaces the tide has created and of course jumping in and out of the waves. Welly boots didn't stay dry for long and they loved this change of scenery that we managed without actually leaving our home town.  It is getting harder to think of things to do that aren't just the same walk and going to the same place and I know once we can travel again even going 10 miles down the road is going to feel exciting (for me at least!)

We didn't last long before the rain really started, the welly boots were too full of water and we needed to get home, but at the moment getting them out at all feels like an achievement.  Hopefully the return to school and the chance to see friends will  lift their moods and give them more enthusiasm to get out!  If nothing else it will give them more exercise and fresh air with the school runs and playgrounds at lunchtime.

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Lockdown 3 - The Children's Opinions.

I have been talking to the children this week about Lockdown, Home Learning and their opinions on it all. I can see the toll it is taking on them all but it doesn't always present in the same ways it does for an adult and they don't all have the language and insight to express their frustrations. I thought I would ask them all a few questions and record their views (Dylan typed his own) on Lockdown three as we approach a year since this all began.

Dylan (age 9)

It is not as good as school learning because it’s like normal learning except you can not see your friends. And you can not go out to a soft play or friends houses. The best home learning is probably art because it’s just like normal art because you're still drawing, but for English you type instead of write so English is super poo. After lockdown I want to see all my friends and go to soft play. The best part of lockdown is having more time to play because you don't have to wait for your whole class to finish. On a scale from 1 to ten, home learning is a 5. 

Archie (age 7)

My work is quicker and I get set less work than at school but it is still school, that is the worst thing.  The best home learning subject is that we are doing money in maths and I like money but the worst is art. When lockdown ends I am looking forward to going to my friends’ houses and celebrating my birthday with other people as I have to have a lockdown birthday.  It is boring only having my siblings to play with. The best thing about lockdown has been more screen time.  I would rate lockdown 3 out of 10

Finn (age 5)

The worst thing about lockdown is having to do homework, when it ends I am looking forward to going to the shops.  It is good being at home with my brothers.  The best part of lockdown has been extra screen time. I rate home learning 1 out of five million.

Cora (age 4)

I love being with my mummy all the time, but I miss seeing my friends.  The best learning is when we play games but I don’t like the phonics videos.  When lockdown ends I can’t wait to see my friends.  I like being with my brothers. The best thing about lockdown has been making gingerbread men. I give it 5/10

I wasn't surprised that none of them particularly like home learning and they are all just desperate to see their friends again. Pretty much the same as me in that respect!

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Staying Home

I love going into London, I tried to go once a month when I could, sometimes for work and meetings, sometimes for visits and sometimes just because I love being in the big city, wandering the streets and people watching.  I love travelling to different countries, travel has always been a priority to us as a family and we spend so much time planning where to visit and what we want to see and do.  I love where I live, but I love getting away too.

I spend far too much time looking at holidays we will be unlikely to take, planning days out that may not be what we want to do once we are actually able to do it.  Trying to change the attitude of feeling trapped at home is hard work but it is the challenge I am facing.  We are limited to exploring only places within walking distance of our house and with some members of the family having littler legs than others, that doesn't take us far.  We need to get out though, we need to walk and breath the outside air and feel a part of something bigger than our household so we are getting out, mostly to the same place but it is out and it is beautiful.

This is where I live, a tiny corner of the UK surrounded by coastline.  Sandy beaches, colourful beach huts, chalk cliffs, little harbours, dramatic skies.  We can walk to several different beaches from our house, we all have our favourites and they aren't all the same. Whichever one we end up at though, I feel better for seeing the sea.  The children love climbing on the sand that is piled up to protect the buildings, they love throwing stones in the sea, they love planning which boat they would choose in the harbour if they had enough money to buy one.  They love having a hot chocolate in their tin mugs and stopping for a cone of chips to accompany us on the way home.  The beach provides their imaginations with a holiday, with a day out, with a different backdrop to normal and different possibilities.

  I love the smell of the sea, the feel of the sand under my feet, the sound of the waves, the warmth of a hot drink in my hands on a cold day, the sight of the sun setting behind the boats as we walk up the hill back home.  I love staring into the sea on a good day, thinking I could be almost anywhere looking out at the same view, I love shouting into it on a bad day, wondering where my words will end up.

This post is a way for me to try and write down a little bit of how I feel and share the beauty of where I live, because all in all, staying home is a good place to be. 

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Lockdown 3.0

This lockdown was hardly unexpected, in fact I asked for new pyjamas and loungewear for Christmas in anticipation of a long winter spent mostly at home.  Expected doesn't mean easy though and I think the government's insistence that schools are safe even on the first day of term gave me a false sense of hope that schools would remain open.  I struggled heavily with the news that home learning is resuming and the first day was incredibly challenging balancing the needs of four children, three whom can't complete school work independently and the eldest who still needed lots of clarification.  It all felt too much and I hastily sent emails to teachers asking them to lower their expectations of us. 

The second day involved less tears from all of us, a little compromise and intelligent use of the tin of Christmas chocolates I hadn't brought out yet, and over the week we are slowly slotting into a routine where most of the set work is completed, and there is less guilt for the pieces that are not.  I imagine much like the first lockdown which I documented weekly, this is an attitude that will change daily for the entire course of home schooling but I am hopeful that we can find a balance that helps us get through this long winter.

We are lucky to live near the seaside so we always have somewhere beautiful to walk for our allowed exercise, although the children have been complaining that they would rather find a forest or something different once in a while.  I have invested some Christmas money in a giant insulated bottle so we never again have to leave the house without hot chocolate and I am trying to get outdoors every day as I know my sanity needs it!  This lockdown is going to be harder, we are missing the sun and we have some idea how long this is going to last rather than taking it week by week.  I know there will be days I am overwhelmed by it all and that is just something we will have to deal with.  I hope the start of Lockdown 3 hasn't been too tough on you.

We finished all our work before lunch today, a combination of starting earlier and less being set on Friday, and they are all relieved that the first week is over and they can relax.  I am trying to catch up on all the things I have missed this week; emails, writing and perspective.  I know in some ways I have it easier, we are lucky to have enough devices for the children to work on, a warm house and plenty of food and my job is very flexible.  In other ways they have it hard, getting only 1/5th of my attention.  I believe it is ok to feel it hard even if your circumstances are ideal.  I am thinking of all those that have it hard, and those that are struggling in any way.

The children were sent these Serkku coats as part of an ongoing collaboration with Reima, our favourite outdoor brand and I love how easy they are to spot on a dark winter day and how cheerful they look.  They are all wearing Reima trainers or boots here which keep their feet roast warm. 

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Christmas 2020

I decided against a round up post for last year, I feel like there isn't much to say.  We mostly stayed home, our adventures were smaller, our stories fewer, our anxiety higher.  I placed too much importance on Christmas day, thinking that a day of normality would somehow make up for nine months of not being able to hug our family or meet in the same house.  I took the children out of school a week early to minimise the risk of having to miss out on the family Christmas we had planned, persuading them that missing the Christmas lunch, play and parties would be worth it for this one day together.  It didn't happen though, a last minute decision by the government to plunge all of Kent into tier 4 just days before Christmas meant a last minute dash to the supermarket (along with everyone else who hadn't planned to cook that day) and the opportunity to plan our first Christmas at home.

Christmas is always magical with young children and all four are still fierce believers.  Father Christmas was going to bring them presents much longed for, that they had given up hope of receiving and I managed to pick up all the important parts of a great Christmas meal.  It was wonderful, calmer, quieter and more relaxed in some ways, but more stressful in others (I have never hosted or cooked Christmas dinner before).  We were all glad to be safe at home, to have time and space to play with new gifts without time constraints and enjoy our comforts, but we all felt like something big was missing - the family we weren't able to spend time with.

I wanted to take some candid shots of what this day looked like for us, hopefully the first and last Christmas we spend like this.  The house which had been tidied in preparation for the big day soon took on the appearance of a bomb site, children decided wrapping in blankets was better than wearing actual clothes and there was way more screen time than I would have liked.  We were so lucky to be safe at home, surrounded by comfort and love. Being woken up to the sound of siblings waking each other with calls of 'Santa's been' will always be a favourite memory and it will certainly be a Christmas we remember.  

I tried to take photographs honestly, not erasing the carnage but embracing it.  I want to look back at this year not with rose tinted glasses, or thoughts of sadness at what was missed, but with the knowledge that we made amazing memories, that we grew so much together, that we laughed but that we felt sadness and loss as well.  It wasn't all doom and gloom, it wasn't all looking for the bright side, it was a complex mix of everything.

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Life in Lockdown - An Update

When I started doing a weekly update about our life in Lockdown, I just hadn't imagined it lasting this long.  Taking a photo every day felt like a way to keep up something I enjoy (photography) alongside recording this strange time but as we settled into this new normal, it got harder.  I love looking back now at those early weeks where I had so much more enthusiasm for home learning and so much more anxiety around the whole situation.  Unfortunately both of those have dwindled and now I feel happier having days with no plans, being at home, enjoying the slower pace of life and I also have less energy for home learning when trying to balance it with everything else.

We also made the decision to send Finn back to school on June 15th and he now does 4 days a week.  Dylan is going back next Monday and Cora is back doing two morning sessions at nursery.  Lockdown doesn't look quite the same for us anymore and whilst we are still social distancing and avoiding many of our usual places, there is a bit more freedom and a little less stress.  I want to continue sharing how we are doing but not in the same daily structure.

I have lost track of which week we are on now, but we have started going out more.  The older boys were getting more and more reluctant to leave the house and I could see how it was affecting both their mental and physical health so I am building it into our week more and we are lucky enough to be surrounded by beaches so we can usually find a nice quiet one.  We still have plenty of days where we don't go out at all and we have fallen into more of a routine with our home learning now that Finn is at school.  The structure that the school run brings to our day has made us all more productive I think.

I still find that things can feel very extreme.  Without that social side that I rely on to help me process my feelings sometimes, I still find myself having quite extreme highs and lows.  Some days I think this is such an amazing opportunity to really stop and enjoy my children without any outside pressure, without any commitments elsewhere, and other times I feel so exhausted by it all and I just want to hide under a duvet all day.  The Corona Fatigue is definitely real, but with more time outdoors it is definitely getting to me less than it was.

The news that the world is opening up a lot more as of July 4th has also lifted my mood. We won't be rushing out to cinemas, museums and restaurants but knowing that there are options when we do need to break up the monotony is a comforting thought and when we are ready we can access more entertainment and more normality. 

These photos do not show an accurate representation of the past 3 or 4 weeks at all, they show the highlights, the moments I felt inspired to take out my camera, the best bits of the week.  Know that there were arguments, battles, stand offs, afternoons spent watching films as I lost the energy to parent, a drive through mcdonalds  and quite a bit of time where I was sat in my hammock with a book whilst the children played on the xbox.  These photos are also mostly of Cora who is happy to have her photo taken more, the boys pick and choose with that so don't appear as much.

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