A Little Sister

The school holidays have been an adjustment for us all - six weeks of having four children full time.  A new baby to challenge and develop existing relationships, so much time together, so many opportunities.  The boys have always been close, but they are used to their time apart, to spending time with other children and in different situations.  This summer has been about us.

Dylan and Archie are the best of friends, of course they fight like only brothers can, but they play so well together, they chat and giggle and create and bond.  There are 18 months between them and that age gap shrinks the longer they are together.  Finn has always been the baby, but since Cora arrived he has had to step up, and he is changing so much now, desperate to join in with his brothers, determined in everything he does.

And these three boys of mine, they have a baby sister.  They are learning all over again, finding their place in the new dynamics of our family and having to share me with another (demanding) little person.

They adore her, all three of them and I am so thankful that her entrance has been so smooth.  Dylan regularly declares her to be his best friend and he lays next to her, his hand on hers as he sucks his thumb and stares at her.  He is convinced that he is her favourite as she gives him the most smiles and talks about the things he will do with her.

Archie's caring side comes out around Cora and he starts singing her nursery rhymes as soon as she starts crying.  He is curious about her and asks to have her on his lap the most.  Sometimes he is a little too curious and tries to lift her up, not entirely gently but mostly he strokes her lovingly.

And Finn, the boy who has been our baby for so long, and who loved his role as the youngest has surprised me with his lack of jealousy.  As soon as Cora is low enough for him to reach he crawls or toddles over with the biggest grin on his face to give her kisses.  He is gentle, he pats her, strokes her hair and kisses her on the forehead.  He may try and crawl over her at times, or give her the biggest cuddles when she is just trying to get some sleep, but you can see how desperate he is for her to be bigger and more responsive.  He loves an audience and he is going to be the star of the show once his little sister is able to give him more attention.

When Cora is awake, they are less interested in each other and more interested in her, each one vying for a space in her eye line.  She watches them calmly and with interest, sharing more of her smiles with her brothers than she does with me.  They don't have to work as hard or be there at the right time of the day.  At 8 weeks old she is already used to the chaos that comes with being the youngest of four and she is happy (so far) with her place in this family.

These boys of mine have taken to their baby sister so naturally,  they have made the transition from three to four so much easier and she is a lucky little girl to have three big brothers.  I never imagined a little girl in our future but it feels like she has been around forever already. 

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Four Under Five

Four, three, sixteen months and newborn.  When I tell people the age of my children I am often met with the same shocked impression and a variety of  'wow, you are crazy', 'You have your hands full' and 'rather you than me'.  There is the odd person who says something positive, about how wonderful it will be to have them growing up so close.  All of these things are true, I am a little crazy, my hands are most definitely full, rather me than them and it is amazing seeing how close these babies of mine are.

Four under five is exciting, challenging, noisy and a constant learning experience.  We are only three weeks in to this new adventure and I won't pretend to know what I am doing, but I am feeling confident about the challenges ahead.

The boys absolutely adore their little sister which makes everything a bit easier.  They are used to sharing, used to life with siblings and one extra is exciting but not as world changing as getting a brother or sister for the first time.  They love to stroke her, cuddle her and cover her in kisses (Finn).  They hold her hand and sing her songs and interpret her squeaks and expressions.  Finn is still too little to understand the term gentle, but he is wonderful with his baby sister and his face lights up when she is put down within his reach and he crawls over to show her love.

We are very lucky in that the bloke works from home and his job has some flexibility.  The key to these early days for us is teamwork and for the three mornings a week where Archie is at nursery we split the school runs, I take the biggest and the baby to school and he takes the middle two on the nursery run.  Being able to divide and conquer, or to take all 4 for a short while whilst one of us cooks in peace makes things much easier.  

Planning is most definitely the best way to combat stress and taking them out on my own involves a very large bag, enough supplies for a small holiday and a double buggy.  Having more nappies and spare clothes than we can possibly get through seems sensible and having a large supply of snacks means we are prepared for all eventualities.  Cora is mostly in a sling at the moment, but having a double pushchair means I have the option to put her down should I want to and more space for storing the mountain of 'stuff' that we need.

The school holidays are looming close and I know things are going to be manic.  I am looking forward to the more laid back mornings as we won't have the school runs to force us out the house so early, and my plans involve meeting friends at the park and beach as well as plenty of playdates in confined gardens and houses.  Finn is the hardest work at the moment as he isn't yet walking but he just loves to climb so the biggest challenge will be keeping him happy and safe whilst looking after three other little people.

In these past three weeks we have discovered the best way to fit us all in the (new 7 seater) car, how to get all four in bed (well three as Cora stays up with me still) and we have even braved eating out as a family of six (it wasn't really any different as the littlest one slept through the entire meal).

I may be looking frazzled and tired this summer, but I think it is going to be a great one with my tribe of small people.

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