My life is certainly not perfect. Sometimes Dylan can play up so badly that all I want to do is walk away and pretend that I don't know him. Sometimes Archie wants feeding every single hour and I am completely and utterly exhausted. Sometimes the bloke leaves chocolate wrappers all over the floor and I have to explain to an excited toddler in the morning that yes they are chocolate, but no he cannot have any.
Dylan may have his moments, but do you know what? He is a toddler and he is discovering his boundaries. With every tantrum he is learning where he stands and I am learning right along side him. Archie may be a bit of a milk monster, but this part of his life will be gone in a flash and when I look back, I will be able to say I was there for every single second of it! When he smiled at me for the first time this week, his face lit up and every difficult moment was worthwhile.
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There will always be things that I want to change, I mean who doesn't want to be a little richer, a tad slimmer, or have roots that dye themselves. There will always be things that I could have done differently and one little decision somewhere along the way could have changed the course of things completely.
I have made the choices that got me to this place in my life though. Rightly or wrongly I have made every single one, and I like to think I have no regrets. I found myself pregnant three months into a new relationship but if I hadn't have put everything into that relationship then I wouldn't have my beautiful family.
Dylan may have his moments, but do you know what? He is a toddler and he is discovering his boundaries. With every tantrum he is learning where he stands and I am learning right along side him. Archie may be a bit of a milk monster, but this part of his life will be gone in a flash and when I look back, I will be able to say I was there for every single second of it! When he smiled at me for the first time this week, his face lit up and every difficult moment was worthwhile.
Every now and again I like to just take a step back and take in the fact that I am happy. I have a partner that loves and supports me and two beautiful children who challenge me and force me to become a better person. Even when I feel far from perfect, they are a constant reminder that I did something perfectly right. I have a close family, enough money to enjoy the occasional meal out and a blog which not only satisfies my need to write but gives me a journal of our lives to look back on. I have opportunities, an education and a future to look forward to- wherever it may lead.
I am happy with where I am and where I am going and in a world with so much negativity, I am even happier to be able to say that. I think sometimes we need to be able to float above ourselves and look down to see quite how lucky we are. I refuse to judge my life compared to someone else's as we are all individuals.
I may need reminding when I am up at 3am for the eleventy billionth night feed that the cuddles are completely worth it but quite honestly, I wouldn't change a thing right now.
