With only ten weeks to go (ish) until we add a sixth member to our team, that feeling of the end that is so familiar now has arrived. I remember during my first pregnancy trying to get my head around the fact that things would change beyond anything I could possibly imagine and I spent those final weeks with my friends, going out in the evenings (and treating myself to an orange juice), going for long walks, going out for dinner and enjoying my social life.
When I was pregnant with baby number two, I couldn't possibly comprehend how I could fit a second little baby in my life and those 10 weeks were spent enjoying everything about my first born, living life at his pace, letting my newly mobile toddler walk, as we had nowhere to be, there was no rush and nobody but us.
During my third pregnancy, I wanted to make the most of me-time, and I went to the cinema at least once a week as I remembered all to well how little personal space you get with a baby around. I went for walks on my own along the sea front in the evenings, sat in the hairdressers and just enjoyed peace whenever I could find it, as three was set to be loud, chaotic and always busy.
This time I have realised that the weeks with 'my boys' are soon to be over, there will be a little girl on our team, and everything will change all over again. These boys have been a three for 14 months, they have such beautiful bonds, they are learning and growing together and they are just wonderful to watch. My focus will shift, I will be more outnumbered than ever, and I will have to stop saying 'my boys' and start saying 'my children' or 'my family' when I refer to them all.
It seemed to hit as I turned 30 weeks, it is a milestone week and these photos make me a bit emotional. I feel so incredibly blessed to have three amazing little boys in my life. To be the one that gets to wake up to their smiles each morning, and tuck them up in bed with a story and a song each night. I get to watch them grow into the men they will become, nurture friendships with each other, learn alongside one another and be a little team.
These next ten weeks are about them, about making memories, about getting out together, exploring and observing, because I love to just watch them. I want to have adventures that are easier without a new baby in tow, I want to capture them as they are now, whilst it is just the three of them, I want to prepare them for a sister without making them wish away the present, because the present is pretty awesome right now.
These photos are from the weekend and they may be my favourite ever, they capture so much of who they all are, they capture them together, they were in their element, outdoors, exploring, having adventures and you can see that in their smiles, in the way they are so relaxed. I took my camera out only a couple of times, I wanted some special photos of 'my boys' as they are now, but the rest of the time I got stuck in with them all, I searched for the Gruffalo and got excited when we found the snake's log pile house. I squelched in the mud, marveled at sticks, and came home with muddy feet.
It feels so strange that my time with just these boys is numbered, that things are going to change all over again, the dynamic, the pace of life, the size of my heart, and whilst I am confident we will adapt and find space and it will soon become our new normal, I am excited for the final 10 weeks, our final adventures just as we are and that I get to watch them just as a three for a little longer.
