You will be fine.
Everything is about to change, and you won't really appreciate just how much until it does. People have tried to tell you, but you are so focused on pregnancy and the birth that anything beyond seems too far off still. You may not know what to do at times, but that is fine, parenthood is about learning and all those people doling out advice had to learn once upon a time too.
It is all going to matter so incredibly much, and then suddenly it isn't, but the things that will be important to you are important. You will become obsessed with breastfeeding, the contents of your baby's nappy, first foods, the average crawling age and what brand of babywipes to buy. You will chat for hours about these things without getting even a little bit bored because that is your everyday. You will find friends who find these things just as fascinating, who can debate baby led weaning vs puree all afternoon over a cup of luke warm tea. And then one day none of it will matter again, you will move on and find it strange how you were ever so fascinated. Parenthood goes in cycles and this baby stage that you are about to dive headfirst into is so incredibly intense but so short too.
Make the most of it, as much as you can of course. You don't have to appreciate every moment, nobody ever will, but try to stop sometimes and sniff his little head. When he falls asleep, watch his chest rise and fall and think about how you feel. When you feed him lying down in your bed, take the time to appreciate how well he seems to slot in, how your body curves around him so naturally. When he sleeps, and the house is silent, drink your freshly made cup of tea and just sit. It won't always be this hard, it won't always be this easy.
The best piece of advice I can give you is not to worry so much about 'the book'. You will try and do everything 'right', but your baby is unique. You will learn over time to parent your child not 'a child', accept that he will be faster and slower than average, that he will sleep through when he is ready, he will drink until he is full and he will eventually crawl and walk. Stop and listen to him, listen to yourself and do what feels natural, chances are it is the right thing.
Some people will tell you that there are things you can't do once you have a child - it isn't true. It might not be as easy, but you are going to be the Mum, you get to make the rules. If you want to go out for dinner late then take a pram for him to sleep in. If you want to climb a mountain then get a good sling to wear him on your back. If you want to travel and see the world then you can, and you get to see it through a child's eyes too, it will be magical. Don't let having children hold you back from achieving what you want, but equally know that being a Mummy is more than enough. Don't judge yourself against others, just be the best version of you that you can be.
You may wonder what the future holds but I am not going to give anything away. It will be full of surprises, it will challenge you, make you question yourself but ultimately you will end up richer -your heart and home will be overflowing with love and you will be happy. Take each day as it comes, appreciate the small things, let your baby be little whilst you still can. Take a deep breath, count your blessings and enjoy the adventures of parenthood.
Love from Me, now.
p.s Make sure you always check out baby events to find the best deals - nobody will warn you quite how satisfying saving money on the necessities is! Tesco have one on at the moment and there is still a week left to grab some savings.
Disclaimer : In association with Tesco
I think we all judge ourselves against other mums. They always seem to have it all under control especially on the days we don't
ReplyDeleteI read this to my mum while I was reading it for the first time and as I was reading, we both kept looking at each other and nodding in agreement.
ReplyDeleteIt is a fabulous post and something (other than the boy) I can 100% relate to!
Oh, and how fabulous do you look all pregnant and what not in your blue dress!
ReplyDeletethat yellow font, aaaargh!!! if you're trying to make your site difficult to read then i salute you. In the name of all users please make links in a color that can be seen clearly
ReplyDeleteA lovely letter, thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteLove the part where you talk about still being able to do anything. I'm so sick of all the people that say your own life will end when you have children. Having children hasn't stopped me doing anything i want to do, It's just made my experiences all the richer for having them with me. Thanks for telling it like it is. Motherhood is wonderful xx
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