Thursday, 17 April 2014

The Mummy Adventure

I do my best thinking when I am walking.  It seems so cruel that I feel at my most creative when I don't have an opportunity to record it and I often compose whole blog posts in my head that I cannot recreate at all when I finally put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard.  This is one of those.

After two years and three months of recording our lives, I thought I would explain why I called my little space on the internet 'The Mummy Adventure'.  I have touched on it in the past, but I wanted to try and put into words the thought behind the name.

I don't think being a mother is a job.  I don't see it as a role or an occupation.  I see motherhood as a journey, an adventure.  It doesn't matter if your child was planned and longed for or a careless accident after a few too many tequilas on a Friday night.  It doesn't matter if it took 10 years of trying, hormone treatments and IVF or those two blue lines appeared completely unexpectedly.  It doesn't matter if your child has your genetics or not.  That first time that you touch those tiny little fingers, the first time you see those ten precious toes, the first time you hear those little lungs announcing his arrival, that is the very first day.


Whether she arrived by cesearean, via forceps or through a vaginal birth doesn't matter, it is all part of another story, another journey and whether those first moments are characterised by pure elation, post natal depression or something in between makes no difference.

From that very first day, the journey has begun, and like every journey, it is full of change.  There will be twists and turns even when things looked so straight and things will very rarely go to plan.  You may have their and your entire life planned out (My sister has already decided what she will be wearing when Dylan marries Harper Seven Beckham) but like any real adventure, it rarely works out that way.  Whether you travel far or stay in your home town, things will change, because that is the nature of a journey.  That helpless baby who grips his fingers round yours with all the strength he can muster, hanging on like his life depends on it will become a headstrong toddler, determined to assert his independence, insisting on dressing himself even though he will invariably end up with his T-shirt on back to front and his jeans inside out.  That toddler will be replaced by a child with more energy than he knows what to do with, to a teen, and maybe a parent himself.  Throughout the journey you will be constantly learning, and not just the practical things like how to build the best Lego tower, or how to open a stair-gate (I still haven't worked this one out) but you will grow wiser, have more patience, become more sentimental.  

There will be parts of the journey where you feel prosperous and parts where you have but pennies in your pocket.  There will be happy times and sad.  There will be times where the skies are clear, and periods where you feel like you are heading forward in the dark.  Other people may play a part, and everyone will have an opinion, but the journey is yours and yours alone.  

Some parts of this adventure are exciting and other parts are just ordinary, but every moment is shaping the next and quite often the little things become the big.  The adventure starts on that first day, sees the changes from baby to toddler, to child to teen.  You may get the blessing of grandchildren and maybe even great grandchildren but this is still your journey.  One day it will happen that your body stops working.  Your children will weep at the graveside but the journey of motherhood is not over.  You will live on in the shade of their eyes, the determined spirit they passed from you to their own daughter, the words in a book that describe you so well.  They will still think of you, see you and speak to you every day.  You will still shape the person they become and influence their everyday as they work to make you proud.  The journey of motherhood is ongoing and is shared by the generations of mothers before us.                 

                                                                                                                                                                    So this is where my little blog comes into it.  This is my adventure, from the little things to the big, the milestones and the moments, the days out, the holidays and those feelings that I just need to put words to.  Should anything happen to me, I want my boys to be able to see my journey, our adventure, what they made me.    This is my adventure.                                                                                                                                                                                    
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

21 comments:

  1. Perfectly put, Bex! It really is an adventure. Some of the twists and turns test us and others give us the best feeling of our lives. We just have to equip ourselves with tea and cake to get through the more exhausting times ;-)

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    1. Tea and cakes are definitely an important part of the adventure!

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  2. This is lovely, and I blog for the same reasons, to put that adventure of mummyhood words for others to read: maybe other mums for feel the same, or different, but primarily so that my children can look back and understand their mummy and how loved they are. x

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    1. Thanks, I hope the BG and BB love it when they are bigger

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  3. Ah Becky this made me cry. What a beautiful post. I completely agree with every single thing you have written. xx

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    1. Sorry! I had it so well written in my head that it was hard trying to put it down in words

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  4. Ah Bex this is lovely and so beautifully written! I can completely relate to everything you've said and feel so blessed to be a mummy, it is truly the most wonderful and rewarding journey! xxx

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    1. Thanks Vikki, it really is isn't it. I had no idea how much so until I had my babies

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  5. Beautifully put, and so very true! And I think that's the perspective that makes it fun; if you consider motherhood as a job your subconscious will start to equate it with a job and that raises expectations of reward and appreciation, and time off - which don't always materialise!!

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    1. Oh yes, I am still waiting to hear when my lunch break is and what the holiday pay is like! haha

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  6. Ahhh Bex this is so beautifully written! So true. I started blogging as I wanted to record our family adventure together in a place both of mine could one day look back at and get to know Mommy better. It is a truly amazing journey to be on, I feel ever so blessed. It's great to read others adventures as well, that's what I love about parenting blogging sharing all our stories together. What a gorgeous picture at the end too. Almost made me cry! ;) I know I am a softy my children did that to me. ;)

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    1. Thank you Jenny, I love being nosy and reading other people's journeys too

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  7. This was such a lovely read. I totally agree with you about it being an adventure. So beautifully written. x

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  8. Lovely - even if it has made me cry! Xx

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  9. Beautiful yet sad xx very poignant

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